dukkits international house o whores

[ghettoboyd]

holy shit people im breaking new and exiting ground during my fabulous amazing, unbelievable, gargantuan, colossally, stellar vacation....I just totally.....









































cleaned the gutters of my house...ohhhh yeeeaaa baby....

[-Ender-]

im sorry this is happening to you brother...is it realy final in your mind cus ive been there before and im so glad I didn't do it...im shure this has been building up for a while so I understand you have to do right by you...you deserve to be happy...good luck my friend...

Thanks brother. I never speak my mind on personal matters, here or anywhere. Who cares? divorce was brought up a few posts back and lately I've been feeling it, if you know what I mean.

Nothing is ever final in my mind until I have been completely and utterly pissed off; then calmed down, cooled off and thoughtfully malevolent with regard to the task at hand. And that's where I'm stuck, I have to figure this out another way... malevolence can not be applied with my children involved.
Everybody has to be happy or I stay unhappy. I will continue to search for a flashlight in the dark. Maybe I can use it to find a door.

And sorry to be a ****ing downer guys, I'll try to be more funny......since the bitch won't just die or go away. lol

[Hazard]

Get it done Haz

Leaving now actually. Fvckin gf and her wantin me to help with chores. The nerve

[-Ender-]

holy shit people im breaking new and exiting ground during my fabulous amazing, unbelievable, gargantuan, colossally, stellar vacation....I just totally.....
cleaned the gutters of my house...ohhhh yeeeaaa baby....

thanksforremindingmedick.













lol . .

[austinite]

Yall be tripping.

Is that good thug talk? Trying here....

[Hazard]

Yall be tripping.

Is that good thug talk? Trying here....

Shit cuz..... Ain't bad

[austinite]

Shit cuz..... Ain't bad

Hell yeah. We be doing stuff like this, son. Cuz, waka waka. Southwest sideeeeee.

[Igifuno]

Hell yeah. We be doing stuff like this, son. Cuz, waka waka. Southwest sideeeeee.

You're so white.

[Hazard]

I be orderin 187's on muthafvckas for disrespectin. The causation of my actions directly correlate to they bitch asses actin a fool

[Hazard]

You're so white.

Lmfao! Me too haha

[austinite]

You're so white.

White flour!

[Hazard]

White flour!

I prefer 00 for homemade pasta

[bikeral]

holy shit people im breaking new and exiting ground during my fabulous amazing, unbelievable, gargantuan, colossally, stellar vacation....I just totally.....

cleaned the gutters of my house...ohhhh yeeeaaa baby....

I don't even know if I have gutters...

[bikeral]

Thanks brother. I never speak my mind on personal matters, here or anywhere. Who cares? divorce was brought up a few posts back and lately I've been feeling it, if you know what I mean.

Nothing is ever final in my mind until I have been completely and utterly pissed off; then calmed down, cooled off and thoughtfully malevolent with regard to the task at hand. And that's where I'm stuck, I have to figure this out another way... malevolence can not be applied with my children involved.
Everybody has to be happy or I stay unhappy. I will continue to search for a flashlight in the dark. Maybe I can use it to find a door.

And sorry to be a ****ing downer guys, I'll try to be more funny......since the bitch won't just die or go away. lol

Hey buddy its all good we all have good and bad in our lives. It's probably easier to talk about it here.

Whatever you do though never take any advice from me.

[RaginCajun]

I don't even know if I have gutters...

My mind stays in the gutter

[kronik420]

morning prostitutes

[AD]

morning prostitutes

8:20am?

[kronik420]

8:20am?

7.20am

[kronik420]

i don't get how someone can be 6ft tall and under 150 lbs... unless their from Ethiopia...

[kronik420]

GO Pikachu

[Igifuno]

I found this hole in the wall BBQ place in TN. Best baked beans I ever had. Got a rib eye and baked potato coming and a brisket sandwich to go. Score.

[kronik420]

Captain Planet, he's our hero,


Gonna take pollution down to zero

[kronik420]

I found this hole in the wall BBQ place in TN. Best baked beans I ever had. Got a rib eye and baked potato coming and a brisket sandwich to go. Score.

[Cuz]

im movin to Jersey? Think id fit in?

[kronik420]

sooo hungry..

[Igifuno]

im movin to Jersey? Think id fit in?

Redneck guido.. Hell yes!! Haha. Seriously moving?

[Hazard]

im movin to Jersey? Think id fit in?

Be still young grasshopper..... I shall show you the way of the place they call "Jersey"

[Igifuno]

Back in 05 I think, me and two friends planned a trip to South Beach, Miami. Planned months in advance, had an agenda laid out, bas ass hotel on the beach, rented a cadillac, was going to have the time of our lives.

So, several days before we're supposed to leave, a hurricane is plowing up the carribean, hits the DR/Haiti and starts a path straight toward fvcking Miami Beach. I call up my buddies to discuss the dilema, and suggest cancelling the trip, or re-routing somewhere else... Vegas, Atlantic City, anywhere but Miami becuase a damn hurricane is headed right toward it.

These a holes were adamant that the hurricane would swing left and head into the gulf - I wholeheartedly disagreed but was out voted.

So we proceed to Miami Beach and, when we arrived, it was beautiful. 80degrees, sunny, georgous clouds in the sky - wow. Hell yes. But as we arrived into South Beach, something wasn't right, no one was around, people were outside thier establishments installing plywood over their windows and storefronts, and we noticed that hotels had busses in front of them and people were getting in, with their luggage. Sure enough, we pull up to our hotel, and they wouldn't even check us in.. the city is being evacuated.

So of course I'm going off, furious that we're even there. GDamn HURRICANE is headed right toward us and South Beach is being EVACUATED.. WTF?! Call the airport, all flights grounded.

So we start calling hotels outside of SB and they're all freakin booked.. all of them.

Skip ahead a couple hours, and we're waaay north of Miami still trying to find a hotel. We end up 50 miles north of Miami, in some random Howard Johnson hotel with a tire floating in the swimming pool. Pissed.. went to the liquor store and stocked the fvck up.. we're gonna be here for a couple days.

Silver lining.. it seemed like there were countless people there in the same situation as us, and this hotel ended up getting turned into the biggest party on the block. The lobby, all of the floors, everyone had thier doors open, people were everywhere.. getting WASTED. All kinds of stuff that I can't mention here.

One of my friends went missing for hours.. like 10 hours.. LOL.. at about 6am the phone starts ringing in our room.. wakes me and my buddy and a couple others that were in our room up.. I answer the phone, "hello", its the desk attendant, she says, "is this Igi" (obviously not using real name), "yeah, what's up?" We have your friend Steve down here, and he's ummm.. well, he's..... naked." I was like, "well bring his ass back up to the room then".

So we all get up in anticipation of what's going on here.. few minutes later, security shows up with Steve, wrapped in a towel, but other wise buck ass naked haha!! So we're dying laughing at this jacked up, wasted MF'er and I tipped security $20 for not calling the cops..

To this day.. Steve still refuses to explain what hell happened that night..

[Hazard]

Back in 05 I think, me and two friends planned a trip to South Beach, Miami. Planned months in advance, had an agenda laid out, bas ass hotel on the beach, rented a cadillac, was going to have the time of our lives.

So, several days before we're supposed to leave, a hurricane is plowing up the carribean, hits the DR/Haiti and starts a path straight toward fvcking Miami Beach. I call up my buddies to discuss the dilema, and suggest cancelling the trip, or re-routing somewhere else... Vegas, Atlantic City, anywhere but Miami becuase a damn hurricane is headed right toward it.

These a holes were adamant that the hurricane would swing left and head into the gulf - I wholeheartedly disagreed but was out voted.

So we proceed to Miami Beach and, when we arrived, it was beautiful. 80degrees, sunny, georgous clouds in the sky - wow. Hell yes. But as we arrived into South Beach, something wasn't right, no one was around, people were outside thier establishments installing plywood over their windows and storefronts, and we noticed that hotels had busses in front of them and people were getting in, with their luggage. Sure enough, we pull up to our hotel, and they wouldn't even check us in.. the city is being evacuated.

So of course I'm going off, furious that we're even there. GDamn HURRICANE is headed right toward us and South Beach is being EVACUATED.. WTF?! Call the airport, all flights grounded.

So we start calling hotels outside of SB and they're all freakin booked.. all of them.

Skip ahead a couple hours, and we're waaay north of Miami still trying to find a hotel. We end up 50 miles north of Miami, in some random Howard Johnson hotel with a tire floating in the swimming pool. Pissed.. went to the liquor store and stocked the fvck up.. we're gonna be here for a couple days.

Silver lining.. it seemed like there were countless people there in the same situation as us, and this hotel ended up getting turned into the biggest party on the block. The lobby, all of the floors, everyone had thier doors open, people were everywhere.. getting WASTED. All kinds of stuff that I can't mention here.

One of my friends went missing for hours.. like 10 hours.. LOL.. at about 6am the phone starts ringing in our room.. wakes me and my buddy and a couple others that were in our room up.. I answer the phone, "hello", its the desk attendant, she says, "is this Igi" (obviously not using real name), "yeah, what's up?" We have your friend Steve down here, and he's ummm.. well, he's..... naked." I was like, "well bring his ass back up to the room then".

So we all get up in anticipation of what's going on here.. few minutes later, security shows up with Steve, wrapped in a towel, but other wise buck ass naked haha!! So we're dying laughing at this jacked up, wasted MF'er and I tipped security $20 for not calling the cops..

To this day.. Steve still refuses to explain what hell happened that night..

LMFAO! Love it

I've lost my friends at trance shows..... I show up with them and don't see them again until the music goes off and we can hear our phones ring.

[Igifuno]

Hell yeah... there have been many a night with lost friends..

Come on Haz give us one.. I know you have plenty of stories.

[Hazard]

My ex called me and I asked her if she wanted to go out for a drink. She was half cuban and half puerto rican with a touch of chinese in there. She had really exotic eyes....

Anyways..... We went to a strip club one of my friends worked at. So we're hangin out there and shes talkin tot he strippers (she used to dance) and before I know it she's duckin away to the dressing room. My friend goes "They took a liking to her you lucky fvck"

I guess she preferred the blonde girl over the colombian girl. So her and the blonde come walkin out from the dressing room and wrap their arms around me. one on either side..... My ex goes "Tonight is your lucky night..... you're getting laid." and the blonde says "By both os us" hahaha my friend almost fell off his stool.

So we head out to the dancers apartment and as soon as the door locks they both get naked. The dancer wanted me to feel her fake tits to see how real they were.... my ex was urging me to. I didn't hesitate lol.

They both then decide to take a bath and want me to join. They got into the water and i was like "Do either of you see the size of me? I can't fit in a fvcking tub period..... let alone with you two in it. lets goto the bed"

The next hour was nuts..... i'll save most of those details except for the best part. Literally..... the best part. I was about ready to go.... the blonde knew it and she says "When you're ready..... I want you to bust on her ass and i'll lick it off" and thats exactly what happened.

When we got up and left my ex was still horny. She was naked on the drive home in rush hour traffic trying to fvck me in the car. I got so pissed lol..... i hate that shit. We banged it out one more time at her house and another week later I video taped a session with her and then we literaly havn't talked since lol

[austinite]

[Igifuno]

My ex called me and I asked her if she wanted to go out for a drink. She was half cuban and half puerto rican with a touch of chinese in there. She had really exotic eyes....

Anyways..... We went to a strip club one of my friends worked at. So we're hangin out there and shes talkin tot he strippers (she used to dance) and before I know it she's duckin away to the dressing room. My friend goes "They took a liking to her you lucky fvck"

I guess she preferred the blonde girl over the colombian girl. So her and the blonde come walkin out from the dressing room and wrap their arms around me. one on either side..... My ex goes "Tonight is your lucky night..... you're getting laid." and the blonde says "By both os us" hahaha my friend almost fell off his stool.

So we head out to the dancers apartment and as soon as the door locks they both get naked. The dancer wanted me to feel her fake tits to see how real they were.... my ex was urging me to. I didn't hesitate lol.

They both then decide to take a bath and want me to join. They got into the water and i was like "Do either of you see the size of me? I can't fit in a fvcking tub period..... let alone with you two in it. lets goto the bed"

The next hour was nuts..... i'll save most of those details except for the best part. Literally..... the best part. I was about ready to go.... the blonde knew it and she says "When you're ready..... I want you to bust on her ass and i'll lick it off" and thats exactly what happened.

When we got up and left my ex was still horny. She was naked on the drive home in rush hour traffic trying to fvck me in the car. I got so pissed lol..... i hate that shit. We banged it out one more time at her house and another week later I video taped a session with her and then we literaly havn't talked since lol

Aaaahahah.. fvcking great! Definitely you're lucky night. A lot of dudes go their whole life without a threesome..

austin.. your turn. It has to be a true story.

[austinite]

I shared on in private with Haz once. I guess I can bring it here since she is long gone. Let me find the PM...

[Hazard]

Aaaahahah.. fvcking great! Definitely you're lucky night. A lot of dudes go their whole life without a threesome..

austin.. your turn. It has to be a true story.

It was epic man lol..... the two of them were nuts together. It wasn't just a three some.... they were fighting for the big D lol....

"It's my turn.... let me ride him"

hahahaha I wish I could relive that but with proviron and cialis this time

[austinite]

Start date: November 8th, 2012
End date: January 1st, 2013

As some of you may recall, back in November I fell for a stripper. I saw this girl 3 years ago at a club and was there for about an hour before we exchanged numbers. I never called her. She never called me. Until November 1st, when I received a text message asking how I was. Surprisingly I still had her number and remembered her. We setup a date for that evening and to my disappointment, she canceled on me at the 11th hour.

A few days later she sent another text. Apologized and asked for another date. I agreed. Picked her up for a sushi dinner. Wow. Amazing broad....

STATS:
Age: 28
Height: 5'3"
Weight: 116 lbs.
BF %: Hard to gauge, i'd say 17 with decent abs.
Hair: Blonde, below shoulders, straightened.
Eyes: Blue
Teeth: Pearly white and perfectly straight
Breasts: Real and perky C's
Overall look/feel: Hard to get, super sexy, power personality, killer smile.
Job: Yes, no longer dancing.
Apartment: Nice, clean, ultra modern, lots of red/black.
Car: 2000 something BMW M5
Pets: Chocolate Lab
Hair other than head and eyebrows: Nope.
Glitter everywhere?: Surprisingly not.

So at this stage I'm just blown away. Not the girl I remember at the club at all. Might have been too dark or something, don't recall. Anyway, we go eat and dinner conversation rapidly switched from casual to personal. She wanted to know everything about me. Every word came out with such confidence. I'm intrigued. I'm impressed. I'm astonished. How could she have ever been a stripper? Every stripper that I've ever dated was silly, childish and super-needy.

We go back to her place and watched a movie. Didn't really watch the movie. Either this broad has been deprived for many many years or I just got raped. This was very tough for me. I'm a take-charge type of guy in this department. That evening, I was in charge of nothing. She owned me. All night, multiple times. She got everything she wanted.

It was late/early AM and I needed to leave for work. Cuddle, kiss, goodbye.

As I walk through her building hallways I think to myself "Did this just really happen?". I wonder if she will call. Should I call her tonight? Woah! Wait a minute... is this how broads feel when they leave my place? Fvck it. I'm not calling...

I get a text around noon that day. "Lunch?". I reply with agreement. She had lunch ready at her place. Long story short, I got there, did it all over again and left. Didn't even get to eat lunch. I ended up taking the rest of the day off and did exactly what you think I did, again and again and again. Couldn't keep off of each other. Amazing, I'm in heaven.

"Let's go to your place! I wanna see your place!" she says. Umm. Ok... so it's late night we head over to my place. I wonder. This is just too good to be true. Something JUST isn't right. She can't be perfect. I better not take any chances, so I decided to take the very very long way home so that she doesn't remember the route. Just in case!!

Everything seemed great that night. Same stuff, just at my place this time.

Forget all the rules. Forget every experience I've had in the past. I'm putting on the good ol' tunnel vision and I'm OK with it. I love this broad. After doing this for the remainder of the month of November, something came up. She purchased a new home. Her lease is up at the apartment and her house wont be ready for 30 days. Well, Austinite to the rescue! Come stay with me for that month.

We had so much sex, everyday that I had to get a prescription that would help me ejaculate. It was just ridiculous. I start to think to myself, how can I retain this broad and keep up with her? Well, this is when things began to go south.

She put her furniture in storage and moved in with me. I noticed many times that she would be super quiet at home, then suddenly she is super active (vocally and physically). Just a strange transition. One day as I was shaving, I noticed her rummaging through a steal box that she had. Pulled out what looks like a prescription and threw it back in the box and then she left, no goodbye, nothing. OK... curiosity got the best of me and I looked in the box. Well shit. Anything a psychiatrist could prescribe is in that box. This explained things but I let it go because I haven't seen her lash at me for anything, so I'm good. So I thought...

That day, she returned and wanted to "Talk". Great!

She had pictures of girls and wanted me to see if recognized them. This was a day before new years eve. Well, I did recognize almost all the girls (7 pictures) but I denied it because I needed to know where she was going with this... They were all strippers from the club where I met her. She wanted to know if I was ever with any of the girls. CRAP! Well, yeah.. 3 of them. the reason she chose the 7 girls (although a strange process here) was because they were her friends and wanted to un-friend the ones I've been with. At that stage I told her the truth. BIG MISTAKE. But I figure her friends would tell her if they saw me so I better be honest.

Her words: "If I ever find out that you've slept with anyone else I will fcking kill that girl".
My response: "Ok, well you're crazy so you will have to leave with your things".

Apparently, BIG MISTAKE #2 according to her. She refused to leave. Caused all kinds of havoc. I could see potential violence on her end. Very angry broad... I called the police and they came out. In Texas, as she had temporarily established residence, I had no right to remove her from the premises. I had to legally evict her and wait 30 days for a constable to remove her by force. She was WELL aware of this law.

Finally after doing everything I can to remove her, she left. But the calls wouldn't stop. She came to my place of work and caused all kinds of trouble. This broad has gone insane. Completely insane. She wants me back. "I can't imagine you with someone else, I cant live without you, I'm going to kill myself, etc...".

I ignore as much as I can in hopes she will move on. I come home from work one day and I find her sitting on my patio, which is fenced off so you have to jump the fence. I asked her what she is doing there and she says "What do you mean, Honey? Welcome home. What do you want for dinner?".

Holy Fcking shit man. WTF did I get myself into here. I'm waiting for that toolbox Ashton Kutcher(sp?) to tell me I'm being punked, but then I realized I'm a nobody so that would certainly not happen. OMG I'm in this shit deep. Since she moved out, I was legally allowed to have her extracted from the premises. Which I did, by calling the police. She left peacefully. I proceeded to get a protective order against her. The following week I stayed in a hotel.

The next day she was back. Only this time, she was driving behind me honking her horn non-stop. I take off and she speeds up behind me. I'm just going to head over to the police station to have her arrested. I finally get there while on the phone with the police so that they can expect me. I pulled into the station and she then took off. Cops went after her and she was arrested.

Several days later it seems she got out. She sent me a text message saying that this was a wake up call for her, she apologized for all the trouble and asked for us to get back together. I let her down gently. Then she rained "Hate" via text. I don't think she appreciated my responses... she thinks that I have mood swings. I'm in green . Blue in the last text.

Well, that's all. This was part of the reason for my absence during late December/early January.


UPDATE:
A couple nights ago I wake up at 3:30 am. I head to the kitchen to get a glass of water and I hear someone on my patio. I can see through the blinds a shadow pacing on my patio. My patio is closed in, you would have to jump over the small fence to get in it. Only real access is from inside my place.

Naturally, I grab my gun. I didn't want to open the door and deal with a potential intruder from that close. So I went outside and around the building to meet them there. Half way there I realized that I am outside with my gun. If I have to shoot someone I would rather both of us be inside my place. So I go back inside and decided to open the door and take a few steps back to see what I'm dealing with. Holy fcking sh!t batman. It was HER. My EX!

I ask her what the hell she is doing, and she says "I'm doing laundry". (I have a washer/dryer in a closet out there and never lock that closet door). I said "Are you kidding me? It's 3:30 AM!! You jumped my fence and lifted your dog into my patio to do laundry at 3:30 AM???" -- She casually replies "What's wrong with that?".

Needless to say I asked her to leave. She refused. Now her dog is inside my apartment, freaking great! She says let me get my dog and go. I said fine...

That's not what happened. She went inside and demolished my place. Not a single thing was left in a closet hanging, nothing left on the counter tops that wasn't on the floor or broken, all the trashcans were emptied onto the ground. And the finale... she punched me in the chest.

The beauty of all this... I have it all on video. Every second of it from the minute I grabbed my gun. Called the worthless cops and they never showed up. At least now I have enough for a protective order.

Oh what a night!

[Igifuno]

Long time ago..

Me and my friend were out and going hard.. at a club and I end up hanging out and dancing with this girl that I sort of know.. just from that club. Well we end up getting along real well and she is getting pretty suggestive, which I'm all over.

So fast forward a couple hours later, and she says, let's go.. I'm like where are we going? She said, I want you to take me home, and fvck the sh*t out of me.. So I take her and find my friend, they know eachother. I said hey, tell him what you just told me. she said, "I told him I want him to take me home and fvck the sh*t out of me". So my friend just kind of looks at us for a minute and says, "what am I gonna do?" haha.. she said, "you're gonna fvck my friend!"..

so we're gone. get back to her house and her friend meets us there.. HOT. both of them. My dipsh*t friend goes into the bathroom and passes out.. Igi gets it on with chick and friend until the sun comes up..

I used a remote control at one point.. yup.. nastiness..

[Igifuno]

Start date: November 8th, 2012
End date: January 1st, 2013

As some of you may recall, back in November I fell for a stripper. I saw this girl 3 years ago at a club and was there for about an hour before we exchanged numbers. I never called her. She never called me. Until November 1st, when I received a text message asking how I was. Surprisingly I still had her number and remembered her. We setup a date for that evening and to my disappointment, she canceled on me at the 11th hour.

A few days later she sent another text. Apologized and asked for another date. I agreed. Picked her up for a sushi dinner. Wow. Amazing broad....

STATS:
Age: 28
Height: 5'3"
Weight: 116 lbs.
BF %: Hard to gauge, i'd say 17 with decent abs.
Hair: Blonde, below shoulders, straightened.
Eyes: Blue
Teeth: Pearly white and perfectly straight
Breasts: Real and perky C's
Overall look/feel: Hard to get, super sexy, power personality, killer smile.
Job: Yes, no longer dancing.
Apartment: Nice, clean, ultra modern, lots of red/black.
Car: 2000 something BMW M5
Pets: Chocolate Lab
Hair other than head and eyebrows: Nope.
Glitter everywhere?: Surprisingly not.

So at this stage I'm just blown away. Not the girl I remember at the club at all. Might have been too dark or something, don't recall. Anyway, we go eat and dinner conversation rapidly switched from casual to personal. She wanted to know everything about me. Every word came out with such confidence. I'm intrigued. I'm impressed. I'm astonished. How could she have ever been a stripper? Every stripper that I've ever dated was silly, childish and super-needy.

We go back to her place and watched a movie. Didn't really watch the movie. Either this broad has been deprived for many many years or I just got raped. This was very tough for me. I'm a take-charge type of guy in this department. That evening, I was in charge of nothing. She owned me. All night, multiple times. She got everything she wanted.

It was late/early AM and I needed to leave for work. Cuddle, kiss, goodbye.

As I walk through her building hallways I think to myself "Did this just really happen?". I wonder if she will call. Should I call her tonight? Woah! Wait a minute... is this how broads feel when they leave my place? Fvck it. I'm not calling...

I get a text around noon that day. "Lunch?". I reply with agreement. She had lunch ready at her place. Long story short, I got there, did it all over again and left. Didn't even get to eat lunch. I ended up taking the rest of the day off and did exactly what you think I did, again and again and again. Couldn't keep off of each other. Amazing, I'm in heaven.

"Let's go to your place! I wanna see your place!" she says. Umm. Ok... so it's late night we head over to my place. I wonder. This is just too good to be true. Something JUST isn't right. She can't be perfect. I better not take any chances, so I decided to take the very very long way home so that she doesn't remember the route. Just in case!!

Everything seemed great that night. Same stuff, just at my place this time.

Forget all the rules. Forget every experience I've had in the past. I'm putting on the good ol' tunnel vision and I'm OK with it. I love this broad. After doing this for the remainder of the month of November, something came up. She purchased a new home. Her lease is up at the apartment and her house wont be ready for 30 days. Well, Austinite to the rescue! Come stay with me for that month.

We had so much sex, everyday that I had to get a prescription that would help me ejaculate. It was just ridiculous. I start to think to myself, how can I retain this broad and keep up with her? Well, this is when things began to go south.

She put her furniture in storage and moved in with me. I noticed many times that she would be super quiet at home, then suddenly she is super active (vocally and physically). Just a strange transition. One day as I was shaving, I noticed her rummaging through a steal box that she had. Pulled out what looks like a prescription and threw it back in the box and then she left, no goodbye, nothing. OK... curiosity got the best of me and I looked in the box. Well shit. Anything a psychiatrist could prescribe is in that box. This explained things but I let it go because I haven't seen her lash at me for anything, so I'm good. So I thought...

That day, she returned and wanted to "Talk". Great!

She had pictures of girls and wanted me to see if recognized them. This was a day before new years eve. Well, I did recognize almost all the girls (7 pictures) but I denied it because I needed to know where she was going with this... They were all strippers from the club where I met her. She wanted to know if I was ever with any of the girls. CRAP! Well, yeah.. 3 of them. the reason she chose the 7 girls (although a strange process here) was because they were her friends and wanted to un-friend the ones I've been with. At that stage I told her the truth. BIG MISTAKE. But I figure her friends would tell her if they saw me so I better be honest.

Her words: "If I ever find out that you've slept with anyone else I will fcking kill that girl".
My response: "Ok, well you're crazy so you will have to leave with your things".

Apparently, BIG MISTAKE #2 according to her. She refused to leave. Caused all kinds of havoc. I could see potential violence on her end. Very angry broad... I called the police and they came out. In Texas, as she had temporarily established residence, I had no right to remove her from the premises. I had to legally evict her and wait 30 days for a constable to remove her by force. She was WELL aware of this law.

Finally after doing everything I can to remove her, she left. But the calls wouldn't stop. She came to my place of work and caused all kinds of trouble. This broad has gone insane. Completely insane. She wants me back. "I can't imagine you with someone else, I cant live without you, I'm going to kill myself, etc...".

I ignore as much as I can in hopes she will move on. I come home from work one day and I find her sitting on my patio, which is fenced off so you have to jump the fence. I asked her what she is doing there and she says "What do you mean, Honey? Welcome home. What do you want for dinner?".

Holy Fcking shit man. WTF did I get myself into here. I'm waiting for that toolbox Ashton Kutcher(sp?) to tell me I'm being punked, but then I realized I'm a nobody so that would certainly not happen. OMG I'm in this shit deep. Since she moved out, I was legally allowed to have her extracted from the premises. Which I did, by calling the police. She left peacefully. I proceeded to get a protective order against her. The following week I stayed in a hotel.

The next day she was back. Only this time, she was driving behind me honking her horn non-stop. I take off and she speeds up behind me. I'm just going to head over to the police station to have her arrested. I finally get there while on the phone with the police so that they can expect me. I pulled into the station and she then took off. Cops went after her and she was arrested.

Several days later it seems she got out. She sent me a text message saying that this was a wake up call for her, she apologized for all the trouble and asked for us to get back together. I let her down gently. Then she rained "Hate" via text. I don't think she appreciated my responses... she thinks that I have mood swings. I'm in green . Blue in the last text.

Well, that's all. This was part of the reason for my absence during late December/early January.


UPDATE:
A couple nights ago I wake up at 3:30 am. I head to the kitchen to get a glass of water and I hear someone on my patio. I can see through the blinds a shadow pacing on my patio. My patio is closed in, you would have to jump over the small fence to get in it. Only real access is from inside my place.

Naturally, I grab my gun. I didn't want to open the door and deal with a potential intruder from that close. So I went outside and around the building to meet them there. Half way there I realized that I am outside with my gun. If I have to shoot someone I would rather both of us be inside my place. So I go back inside and decided to open the door and take a few steps back to see what I'm dealing with. Holy fcking sh!t batman. It was HER. My EX!

I ask her what the hell she is doing, and she says "I'm doing laundry". (I have a washer/dryer in a closet out there and never lock that closet door). I said "Are you kidding me? It's 3:30 AM!! You jumped my fence and lifted your dog into my patio to do laundry at 3:30 AM???" -- She casually replies "What's wrong with that?".

Needless to say I asked her to leave. She refused. Now her dog is inside my apartment, freaking great! She says let me get my dog and go. I said fine...

That's not what happened. She went inside and demolished my place. Not a single thing was left in a closet hanging, nothing left on the counter tops that wasn't on the floor or broken, all the trashcans were emptied onto the ground. And the finale... she punched me in the chest.

The beauty of all this... I have it all on video. Every second of it from the minute I grabbed my gun. Called the worthless cops and they never showed up. At least now I have enough for a protective order.

Oh what a night!

Oh my fvcking god... NIGHTMARE!!! holy sh****t! hahahaa.. Peanut butter jellly time aaahahaha..

[kronik420]

Oh my fvcking god... NIGHTMARE!!! holy sh****t! hahahaa.. Peanut butter jellly time aaahahaha..

now i feel like peanut butter and jelly

[Hazard]

bahahaha everytime i see that aus..... I die haha