My wife just told me she sleeped with someone else?

**DOM6** · 09-25-2009, 07:03 PM

look bro if this is the only problem youve had in 8 yrs, give her a break, imo

***RAGE*** · 09-25-2009, 07:09 PM

I say leave her then come back in a couple of months if you want. that way she knows she just cant lie to you. if you just walk away from this without doing something then she will know you are a punk, and you cant go down looking like a punk...

peace

***RAGE*** · 09-25-2009, 07:11 PM

If you are not a retard you will find the one for you, and if you are a retard you will find the one for you but she will just be a little fatter

***RAGE*** · 09-25-2009, 07:12 PM

sometimes its better to start over because the girls you are going to meet at the bar have only slept with one other guy..lmao

***RAGE*** · 09-25-2009, 07:26 PM

sorry bro, I just dont see the point in this we all lie. I really feel as if you need to get over this, time will help time fixes all things i am old so i know this

***D7M*** · 09-25-2009, 07:59 PM

Originally Posted by prone2rage;48***33

If you are not a retard you will find the one for you, and if you are a retard you will find the one for you but she will just be a little fatter

**DOM6** · 09-25-2009, 08:28 PM

Originally Posted by prone2rage;48***64

sorry bro, I just dont see the point in this we all lie. I really feel as if you need to get over this, time will help time fixes all things i am old so i know this

prone you been drinkin? your slurring your typing, LMAO

**Bojangles69** · 09-25-2009, 08:32 PM

Originally Posted by DS21

My wife and I have been together for 8 years, and about 7 1/2 years ago we broke up because I thought she cheated on me. I've never forgot about that night and would always bring it up at least once a year. So she finally tells me that she did kiss a guy that night. Then during the time I broke up with her, she sleeped with him. She is telling me that she was lonely, and it ment nothing to her, she just wanted to not be sad. She is also telling me that after they sleeped together she broke it off immediatley, because she knew she wanted to be with me, and then did everything she could to get back with me.

Her cheating on me is hard, but we were only together for a few months. The part I am having such a difficult time with is the lieing. I asked before I took her back if anything happened that night, and she said no. I've asked for countless times about that night and she always made me feel like shit for asking her, like I was doing something wrong. Lieing is something I've never accepted from anyone.

We have a daughter together, and I love her a lot, but I just can't look at her the same. All of these years I've thought I was the only guy that has sleeped with her, and that ment a lot to me. Now it's not true, and I just don't know what to do in this situation.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks,

For anyone who says "it was 8 years ago grow some nuts" all I have to say is wtf, seriously.
Theres is a DIFFERENCE between breaking up with someone because you were fighting and then they happened to fvck someone, and then breaking up with someone BECAUSE YOU THOUGHT they were cheating, and then during that time seperated THEY DID CHEAT.

That is a huge fvck you right to your face.
She was looking for the opportunity to cheat SO BAD that the second they seperated that was her opportunity to take advantage of it. That is a bold fvcked up move on her part.

The OP has 2 choices however.

He can say "oh it happened so long ago I might as well just get over it"
and he can also say "that bitch wronged me and I'm better then this shit"

But the fact is he will wind up basing his final decision about 90% on the quality of their relationship today. You are absolutely entitled to be mad about what she did in the past, but logic says when you make decisions in life you make them based on whats real, and even though 8 years ago may seem real to the OP it does not exist anymore.

She got one over on you, thats all you need to deal with.
But as of today, you make your decision based on how things are NOW, and how you and her get along TODAY.
Is she a shady secretive person?
Do you 2 get along?
Do you come home from work everyday hating your life?

These are all things you need to consider now.
I would take this situation as an opportunity to reevaulate your relationship and make a decision based on its current condition. Not to take this as "I need to make a decision based on something that happened 8 years ago" situation.

I still honestly don't think it would be wrong to leave her for a while like prone said, but I also don't think most guys would have the balls to do that and stick to it.
So your job today is to look more closely at your relationship then ever, and make a decision based on that + the past. You NEED TO CONSIDER the 7 1/2 years AFTER the event too and how that plays a role either in her favor or against it. And then maybe you can finally figure out wtf would be the right decision in this situation.

**MAJOR25** · 09-26-2009, 01:06 AM

Originally Posted by DS21

My wife and I have been together for 8 years, and about 7 1/2 years ago we broke up because I thought she cheated on me. I've never forgot about that night and would always bring it up at least once a year. So she finally tells me that she did kiss a guy that night. Then during the time I broke up with her, she sleeped with him. She is telling me that she was lonely, and it ment nothing to her, she just wanted to not be sad. She is also telling me that after they sleeped together she broke it off immediatley, because she knew she wanted to be with me, and then did everything she could to get back with me.

Her cheating on me is hard, but we were only together for a few months. The part I am having such a difficult time with is the lieing. I asked before I took her back if anything happened that night, and she said no. I've asked for countless times about that night and she always made me feel like shit for asking her, like I was doing something wrong. Lieing is something I've never accepted from anyone.

We have a daughter together, and I love her a lot, but I just can't look at her the same. All of these years I've thought I was the only guy that has sleeped with her, and that ment a lot to me. Now it's not true, and I just don't know what to do in this situation.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks,

Bro...I know how you feel....I went though the same thing but me and my ex didn't have a little one. My ex girl cheated on me and no matter how hard I tried, I could never see her the same. we always ended up fighting. Finally we broke up and moved on. she tried to get back with me but I just couldn't do it. we were together for 5 years. 2 of them were just drama and a waste of my life. This is just what I went though.......listen to your heart and hope you make the right decision for your future. Good luck bro.

**countrybhoy** · 09-26-2009, 04:09 AM

Originally Posted by DS21

My wife and I have been together for 8 years, and about 7 1/2 years ago we broke up because I thought she cheated on me. I've never forgot about that night and would always bring it up at least once a year. So she finally tells me that she did kiss a guy that night. Then during the time I broke up with her, she sleeped with him. She is telling me that she was lonely, and it ment nothing to her, she just wanted to not be sad. She is also telling me that after they sleeped together she broke it off immediatley, because she knew she wanted to be with me, and then did everything she could to get back with me.

Her cheating on me is hard, but we were only together for a few months. The part I am having such a difficult time with is the lieing. I asked before I took her back if anything happened that night, and she said no. I've asked for countless times about that night and she always made me feel like shit for asking her, like I was doing something wrong. Lieing is something I've never accepted from anyone.

We have a daughter together, and I love her a lot, but I just can't look at her the same. All of these years I've thought I was the only guy that has sleeped with her, and that ment a lot to me. Now it's not true, and I just don't know what to do in this situation.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks,

mate try to forgive her . i know it will be hard get some help with this as you said you bring it up once a year . now you know it happened it will hurt like fvck . but if you love her hold on to her mate there aint many good ones around .

**Sauced_Up** · 09-26-2009, 07:12 AM

Personally Id boot her ass to the curb... women dont just say hey, ima **** this random guy tonight no matter how "sad" they are. Lets be real here, she must have had done something with the other guy before hand. And for her to tell you thing long after is bullshit.

If you really do want to make things work, go **** some other girl and dont tell your woman. It will make you feel like things are equal.

BG · 09-26-2009, 07:19 AM

**** her sister, mom or best friend....trust me you will feel btter,

**DS21** · 09-26-2009, 11:00 AM

Originally Posted by Bojangles69

For anyone who says "it was 8 years ago grow some nuts" all I have to say is wtf, seriously. Thanks you!
Theres is a DIFFERENCE between breaking up with someone because you were fighting and then they happened to fvck someone, and then breaking up with someone BECAUSE YOU THOUGHT they were cheating, and then during that time seperated THEY DID CHEAT. I don't see how some of these people don't get just that?

That is a huge fvck you right to your face.
She was looking for the opportunity to cheat SO BAD that the second they seperated that was her opportunity to take advantage of it. That is a bold fvcked up move on her part. The worst part is, it was with the same guy that caused us to break up. First she kisses him while we are together then she sleeps with him and then lies about for 8 years and then finally tells me something I knew all along.

The OP has 2 choices however.

He can say "oh it happened so long ago I might as well just get over it"
and he can also say "that bitch wronged me and I'm better then this shit"

But the fact is he will wind up basing his final decision about 90% on the quality of their relationship today. You are absolutely entitled to be mad about what she did in the past, but logic says when you make decisions in life you make them based on whats real, and even though 8 years ago may seem real to the OP it does not exist anymore.

She got one over on you, thats all you need to deal with.
But as of today, you make your decision based on how things are NOW, and how you and her get along TODAY.
Is she a shady secretive person? No
Do you 2 get along? Very well.
Do you come home from work everyday hating your life? Some days I do now.

These are all things you need to consider now.
I would take this situation as an opportunity to reevaulate your relationship and make a decision based on its current condition. Not to take this as "I need to make a decision based on something that happened 8 years ago" situation.

I still honestly don't think it would be wrong to leave her for a while like prone said, but I also don't think most guys would have the balls to do that and stick to it. I moved out for about a month and and half, but just moved back in, and somedays are good, but a lot are hard to deal with.
So your job today is to look more closely at your relationship then ever, and make a decision based on that + the past. You NEED TO CONSIDER the 7 1/2 years AFTER the event too and how that plays a role either in her favor or against it. And then maybe you can finally figure out wtf would be the right decision in this situation.

Thanks for the input!

**Dancer** · 09-26-2009, 11:20 AM

DO you think you feel jelious at all? Given the whole situtation you broke up and and it was the same guy you broke up over?

What issues do you think you bring to the table?

**sigman roid** · 09-26-2009, 11:23 AM

Originally Posted by *RAGE*;48***33

If you are not a retard you will find the one for you, and if you are a retard you will find the one for you but she will just be a little fatter

Prone you kill me

**DS21** · 09-26-2009, 12:22 PM

Originally Posted by Dancer

DO you think you feel jelious at all? Given the whole situtation you broke up and and it was the same guy you broke up over?

What issues do you think you bring to the table?

Truthfully, I'm not jelious, it's more of a feeling of betrayal and a big loss in trust is what I would say that I now bring to the table.

**CHAP** · 09-26-2009, 12:34 PM

Originally Posted by DS21

My wife and I have been together for 8 years, and about 7 1/2 years ago we broke up because I thought she cheated on me. I've never forgot about that night and would always bring it up at least once a year. So she finally tells me that she did kiss a guy that night. Then during the time I broke up with her, she sleeped with him. She is telling me that she was lonely, and it ment nothing to her, she just wanted to not be sad. She is also telling me that after they sleeped together she broke it off immediatley, because she knew she wanted to be with me, and then did everything she could to get back with me.

Her cheating on me is hard, but we were only together for a few months. The part I am having such a difficult time with is the lieing. I asked before I took her back if anything happened that night, and she said no. I've asked for countless times about that night and she always made me feel like shit for asking her, like I was doing something wrong. Lieing is something I've never accepted from anyone.

We have a daughter together, and I love her a lot, but I just can't look at her the same. All of these years I've thought I was the only guy that has sleeped with her, and that ment a lot to me. Now it's not true, and I just don't know what to do in this situation.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks,

Brother Im on a serious vacation right now and want to in detail tell you about my situation(past). I will not do it in the open because I dont want to lay it out for everyone to see. But she loves you ALOT. And you love her the same. You have to put this behind you and it will be one of the hardest things you ever have to do. But I will hit you by PM with my story I think it will help. If your at home and you feel like your about to loose it send me a pm and will talk it out.

But this happened years ago and you were split up. Still this is new info that has just came to light and I know it makes you feel like it happened last night . You two may need to go to therapy it will help in this situation.

CHAP

**DS21** · 09-26-2009, 12:41 PM

Originally Posted by CHAP

Brother Im on a serious vacation right now and want to in detail tell you about my situation(past). I will not do it in the open because I dont want to lay it out for everyone to see. But she loves you ALOT. And you love her the same. You have to put this behind you and it will be one of the hardest things you ever have to do. But I will hit you by PM with my story I think it will help. If your at home and you feel like your about to loose it send me a pm and will talk it out.

But this happened years ago and you were split up. Still this is new info that has just came to light and I know it makes you feel like it happened last night . You two may need to go to therapy it will help in this situation.

CHAP

I appreciate the info, and I look forward to your PM.

Thanks!

**BJJ** · 09-26-2009, 02:38 PM

Originally Posted by DS21

My wife and I have been together for 8 years, and about 7 1/2 years ago we broke up because I thought she cheated on me. I've never forgot about that night and would always bring it up at least once a year. So she finally tells me that she did kiss a guy that night. Then during the time I broke up with her, she sleeped with him. She is telling me that she was lonely, and it ment nothing to her, she just wanted to not be sad. She is also telling me that after they sleeped together she broke it off immediatley, because she knew she wanted to be with me, and then did everything she could to get back with me.

Her cheating on me is hard, but we were only together for a few months. The part I am having such a difficult time with is the lieing. I asked before I took her back if anything happened that night, and she said no. I've asked for countless times about that night and she always made me feel like shit for asking her, like I was doing something wrong. Lieing is something I've never accepted from anyone.

We have a daughter together, and I love her a lot, but I just can't look at her the same. All of these years I've thought I was the only guy that has sleeped with her, and that ment a lot to me. Now it's not true, and I just don't know what to do in this situation.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks,

If you were just a husband I probably would have giving you another advice, but since you have a daughter with this woman I am going to tell you that you should be focused only on your baby's serenity and happiness.
The rest must be countless, even tough hard to digest for you.

**jweir22** · 09-28-2009, 06:29 PM

Wow this is a tough thread to reply to. It has to be the individual to make the choice to stay or not. I always said if i found out my wife had cheated on me i would be gone in a heart beat. But i have seen friends, have there wife's cheat and then they go back to them. I'm not sure i could do this. It has to be based on trust. I think once one of the people crosses the line it's over. Just my opinion. But also i have never been broke up with my wife yet. So i don't know how it would be to be apart for abit. You have to get over it or it just won't work and you will always be paranoid.