My wife just told me she sleeped with someone else?

[DOM6]

it took him 8 years to find out the truth on that 1, how bout the ones he doesnt know about. slowly, get rid of her, imo

[Tjohn6231]

She did lie, for almost 8 years, and that is the part that is so hard to get passed. If she would've just told me then, yes maybe we wouldn't be together now, but I would've had the opportunity to choose then if I wanted to be with her or not.

It was a lie, but Im sure after she lied the first time, it was just hard for her to come clean, and the lie continued. She probably felt that confessing was the right thing to do, so I wouldnt come down hard on her, or she'll continue to lie about things in the future.

[dj87]

The thing is she was a virgin when I meet her and I married thinking I was the only one that sleep with her. The reason we split up was because she cheated on me with the same guy she sleeps with, and I"m being silly?

Have you ever been cheated on or lied to? It is hard to believe someone when they lied to your face countless times, and maybe integrety doesn't mean much to you, but it means everything to me.

wrong thing to think right there i cn see why u thought it but it was wrong,

dude you have a kid and been togeather that long she must love you right?

and let it go, if you asked her for the past 8 years you did enough to her just by always bringing it up to her, at some point you have to forgive her it was once and thats it, AND YOU WERE SPLIT UP so really it had nothing to do with you,

ive always looked at it like this when your a couple its OUR past since u started being a couple whatever she did befor you or while you werent togeather is something she has to live with.

i know finding that out is hard trust me ive been cheated on befor and it hurts to know but think about what i said it should help

[Friend]

Women can not, and should not be trusted. Fvck them and fvck them off.

[marcus300]

If you can't handle what she did and its making you unhappy because of her lies, you have to move on and be happy, no point in living like this if its tearing you apart inside, make your decision.

[stack_it]

Women can not, and should not be trusted. Fvck them and fvck them ALL.

Agreed 100%

[DOM6]

The thing is she was a virgin when I meet her and I married thinking I was the only one that sleep with her. The reason we split up was because she cheated on me with the same guy she sleeps with, and I"m being silly?

Have you ever been cheated on or lied to? It is hard to believe someone when they lied to your face countless times, and maybe integrety doesn't mean much to you, but it means everything to me.

Bro she put you second 2 him then second to herself, your not 1st on her list, boot her

[Hoggage_54]

[Nicotine]

I agree she did tell me, which I wish she didn't, but she also lied to me for the same amount of time we've been together. And that is the hard part for me to get past.

so

you bugged her for yrs, asked her multiple times.

she tells you

you then say you wish she never did tell you?

you finally got the answer you didn't want to hear.

and if that's the case, why keep asking - if it's not what you wanted to hear?

[TRT,MAN]

bro that shit was a long time ago. dont fvckin worrry about it now. she lied to you all this time because she new how you are. she didnt want to hurt you. forget about. i could see if it happen recently then no qeustions asked good by. i dont play that shit. im married and have to kids. i know what its like to have a family. dont ruin it cause of this. trt,man

[jbm]

It's really up to you, If you can't handle the pain then leave her but think about your daughter first.

[operationgetbig]

you've got a free pass to go cheat on her if u wanna stay together. and if she finds out you cheated and breaks up with you then it's complete bs that she think that she can get away with it but u cant.

[redz]

keep her for your kids sake

That can do more harm than good in some cases.

[CBGB]

It could be worse.....

Sexual disease help

[Dancer]

I think there is more going on here than just this.

Bro, Do you suspect she fooked around with anyone else. 8 years is a long time.

The daugher in the pic is also complicated.

[energizer bunny]

If she lied about that then she may have lied about other things.....you were on a break so you cant go on one...on the grounds she slept with someone else........but the lie is pretty big IMHO.......and why the hell tell you now...she had to know how youd react??

maybe she wants you to end it??

[energizer bunny]

Women can not, and should not be trusted. Fvck them and fvck them off.

as much as i dont want to...i have to agree with Friend......most women i know and i am mates with quite a few have done the dirty on there boyfriends....and most of my male mates have to........

i will always cheat if i get the chance in boyfriend/girlfriend relationship....being loyal is stupid imo.....yes you can be a great boyfriend etc but one day it WILL end and all the women you could of had and didnt because your loyal!!!!!!! will haunt you LOL......unless ya married fuk about.....oh and never shit on your own doorstep i.e. fuk outside of you own post/zip code less chance of being caught........

[elpropiotorvic]

^^^ 100% actually i agree 1000000% man


To the owner of the post.... If u can move on without it making ur marriage and daughters enviroment a compete sh!t then dumping her is the best choice but on the other hand if u can just suck it up and aknowledge that it was some years ago and do so without having your daughter living in a hell because the parents are not too friendly then just stay with her... Try to remember why u love her and why u decided to have a kid with her

[Mooseman33]

makes u think what else she has lied or is lying about.

the lying part is what gets me, seeing how u say u ask her annually and she makes u feel like shit for asking..she kept living the lie.

wish u the best my friend

[elpropiotorvic]

It could be worse.....

Sexual disease help

This was just too funny does anybody know if he created another username or something dammn guy left and never told the story .... To the owner of the post ; it really could have been worse

[Kratos]

Who knows you're getting the whole story now?
She should have been honest with you once you were back together.
I'd be hurt by it, but having a daughter means you are obligated to at least try to move on. Seek professional marriage advise and try to work it out. I don't think it's just pride, it's tough to feel the same intensity of love again with question marks in the realtionship. What would bother me the most is after the months of being together she didn't feel strongly enough about me not to go looking for strange penis. Maybe that dude just banged her and kicked her to the curb and that's the only reason she's with me, not out of love. My brain goes all over the place with this shit so I can understand the difficulty getting over stuff.
If she's being truthful now, she only slept with one other guy when you weren't together. She only kissed one other guy when you were together and you've been happy for many years now with her. You've gotta decide how far down the rabbit hole you want to go with this shit. You might find you are a lot happier now with your family then you will be a year from now without them if you don't seek some counceling.

From what I've read it's always better to keep a one time mystake a secret...the honesty is almost never appreciated and the feeling of betrayal undermine a relationship. You wouldn't be with her in all likelyhood if she told you.

[firmechicano831]

I'm just wondering if she's done anything else that you don't know about.

[Narkissos]

If she lied about that then she may have lied about other things.....you were on a break so you cant go on one...on the grounds she slept with someone else........but the lie is pretty big IMHO.......and why the hell tell you now...she had to know how youd react??

maybe she wants you to end it??

I agree with this post to be honest.

[Narkissos]

I'm just wondering if she's done anything else that you don't know about.

Ditto.

[F4iGuy]

Either accept the fact that she loves you and is truly sorry or end it. If you can't forgive her your relationship is over.

[zimmy]

dude...i totally understand why your upset...I hate that bs women sh*t they do...even when they lie or they are wrong they pull mind games. But I agree you should get past it and think about the kid...but I also think you should let her know that you don't trust her for lying all those years and that she will have to earn your trust back. And let her know it's not the fact that she slept with some one else but that she lied.


P.S. It's Slept...not sleeped!

[DS21]

How old is your daughter?

She's 3.

[DS21]

I think I would be more mad about the years of liying than the cheating itself.

Your 100% right here. Her sleeping with someone else hurts, but I knew it and she lied about it and made me feel like I was in the wrong for questioning her about it.

[Vitruvian-Man]

Who knows you're getting the whole story now?

You guys sound SO foolish to me.

You're talking about tearing apart an 8 year stable relationship, and ruining your precious 3 year old child's innocence.

Get your wife to take a bloody lie detector test if you're so concerned about her potential "unfaithful" behavior.

[DS21]

Relationships are built on trust. This will leave a large scar. How will you know if she has been lying about other things. I would have a difficult time dealing with it personally.
But, has this woman given you a happy life? Did she give you the gift of a child? Can you imagine yourself being with anybody else....for the rest of your life? If she has given you all of these things, maybe it's worth working this out. Kiss your wife and tell her that it's going to be ok. She's hurting too.

I know she is hurting, and I do love her, but not being able to trust someone that is suppose to be your bestfriend/life long partner is something I don't know if I could do for the rest of my life. Now when she tells me what she is doing, I can't even believe her. It could be the simpalist thing like going to eat lunch with one of her girlfriends, and all I'm thinking is if she is with another guy. Maybe in time this will go away, but I just don't see how?

[DS21]

I think you're insane.

You're talking about ruining a stable family, and ruining a young girl's adolescent life.

Grow up, and grow a pair for God's sake.

She didn't want to tell you because she was probably terrified of what you would say!

That only attests to how much of judgmental person you must be.

Go to marriage counseling if you can't deal with the "harsh" reality that your wife slept like ONE person... over 8 bloody YEARS ago... and kept it from you out of fear for your relationship, and family.

I think this is one of the most ludicrous things I've ever heard: "If she would've just told me then, yes maybe we wouldn't be together now, but I would've had the opportunity to choose then if I wanted to be with her or not."

You sound like a really, really caring father.

Crazy!!!!

You are just stupid. Again the cheating/sleeping with someone else hurts, but the hard part to get past is the lieing. I am very big when it comes to being honest, and now I will question everything she has or dose from here on out. Have you ever been in a relationship for over 6 months? Relationships are built on trust, IMO, and now the trust part is out the window, because she lied to me about something I knew she did.

[DS21]

keep her for your kids sake, then when your kid goes to college, boot the bitch

You can't be serious?

[chuckt12345]

How old is your daughter?

8 1/2,

seriously OP i would not let that get to you. You had just started dating and yall broke up and then she slept with someone correct? Who cares, yall werent together. Im lucky to find a steady girl who hasnt fkd over 50 people.

[Kratos]

You guys sound SO foolish to me.

You're talking about tearing apart an 8 year stable relationship, and ruining your precious 3 year old child's innocence.

Get your wife to take a bloody lie detector test if you're so concerned about her potential "unfaithful" behavior.

I think you're being the foolish one.

Telling the guy to just suck it up, and stop being a baby.
I said more then once in my post to get professional help, because I take it seriously.

The guy is having serious feelings on the subject and telling him to quit his whinning and stay together for the kids isn't nessicarily the correct answer.

I was only validating his feelings as I'm sure it's tough to deal with for him. I think professional help is the answer to see if they can move past this.

Sometimes things like this can push people apart in a relationship, lead to fighting and an unstable home enviroment for the child and be worse in the long run...you really think all marriages with children involved should stay together, cause I don't. It's the best option if the two people can find happiness together. My answer is professional help with the hope their relationship can move forward. People don't have control over their feelings, or what makes them fall out of love.

[chuckt12345]

got alot of insecurities goin on.

[energizer bunny]

staying together for the kids is the most foolish reason for anyone to stay together!!!!!!!!!!

spending your life pretending!!!! fuk that......

[ghettoboyd]

staying together for the kids is the most foolish reason for anyone to stay together!!!!!!!!!!

spending your life pretending!!!! fuk that......

agreed.....kids will eventually see through the bs....she will see that mom and dad fight a lot and she will grow up thinking that disfunctional relationsips are normal....she needs to grow up in a happy stable enviroment imho....

[energizer bunny]

^^^^^^ exactly......better to be apart and happy...then together and miserable......

[Vettester]

There's only two ways this can go:

1) You call it water under the bridge and you both make the commitment to love and trust each other from heron out.

2) You can't let this go, so then you must let her go so that both of you have a fair chance to find the happiness and love you deserve.

3) Option-NONE. Like I said, there's only TWO (2) ways this can go. Status quo is not an option. You can't stay in this relation and punish her and yourself, which in turn is punishing your daughter. You said that you bring this up each year. Now that you know the truth, are you going to bring it up every 6 months? The resentment will end up driving her away at some point anyhow, but living in that environment is a terrible way to go, especially for a young little girl who you want nothing more than to provide a perfect world for.

My suggestion is Option 1. Think about it ... 8 years ago, you guys were apart. Yeah, it would be nice if she would have came forward up front, but grilling her annually like clockwork kind of tells me that you kind of already knew the truth, and it tells me that she doesn't have complete trust in you either to be able to share her life (bad and good). She probably knew that if she tried to talk about it, you would react like a Salem witch trial. In some ways, you have already made her pay for 8 years. Let it go and find peace.

[Vitruvian-Man]

seriously OP i would not let that get to you. You had just started dating and yall broke up and then she slept with someone correct? Who cares, yall werent together. Im lucky to find a steady girl who hasnt fkd over 50 people.

Someone with some common sense.

I think you're being the foolish one.

Telling the guy to just suck it up, and stop being a baby.
I said more then once in my post to get professional help, because I take it seriously.

The guy is having serious feelings on the subject and telling him to quit his whinning and stay together for the kids isn't nessicarily the correct answer.

I was only validating his feelings as I'm sure it's tough to deal with for him. I think professional help is the answer to see if they can move past this.

Sometimes things like this can push people apart in a relationship, lead to fighting and an unstable home enviroment for the child and be worse in the long run...you really think all marriages with children involved should stay together, cause I don't. It's the best option if the two people can find happiness together. My answer is professional help with the hope their relationship can move forward. People don't have control over their feelings, or what makes them fall out of love.

HE WASN'T GOING OUT WITH HER WHEN SHE HAD INTERCOURSE WITH SOMEONE ELSE. THEREFORE, IT'S NOT A PROBLEM. IT WAS NOT CHEATING.

YES, SHE LIED. IT WAS OBVIOUSLY BECAUSE SHE WAS SCARED. Why do you think she would cry once a year about it??? REMORSE you twit. Does it mean she slept with more people? NO. absolutely not.

^^ I'm sorry about the caps lock for anyone else reading this. I know how annoying it is. I just really don't understand how to make my point any clearer.

IMO the OP needs to get the hell off steroid .com and go talk to his wife about this.

.... This is an obvious example of why divorce rates are climbing over 50% for straight couples within North America.

You finally realized you don't have your "virgin-princess" anymore.. and now "you can't even look at her the same".... cry me river.