Getting divorced

[D3m3nt3d]

Well it's not the first time I've been there. I was engaged once before, to a girl I was with for 4 yrs, and it was a devastating ending. I suffered for months, and I am refusing to let myself do that this time. Although this time is worse, I had alot more invested in this, we have a child, married, put her thru school, raised and supported her son. It's alot more to swallow. Not to mention I was better to my wife than my ex, a whole lot better.

[zaggahamma]

aww thanks, I really hate seeing someone in this pain. It seems we have all been there in one way or another.

yeh...i know and i meant it was great that he got to hear good advice from a female as well especially good POSITIVE advice and its all true back to the one post where he WILL be stronger one day because of this...

i really like how you look at your ex as a brother you cant stand thats such a perfect way to view an ex...

and both of you mention kids involved...that love will never die and be the greatest relationships through life

[D3m3nt3d]

That's the hardest thing to swallow. I go from not missing a day in her life, to have seen here 45 minutes in over 10 days. She was already acting a little hesitant to come to me when I put her down.

[Shinalynn]

F*ck that, you should have her half the time. You really need to put your foot down and get that baby girl. I believe every parent has a right, and you have more than 45 min right in 10 days. Right now, as things are, you can get her from daycare and keep her. Sounds phyco, but you can get a temp order saying you have full custody and she will have to fight you for custody. Well that is the way the law is here in my state.

[zaggahamma]

F*ck that, you should have her half the time. You really need to put your foot down and get that baby girl. I believe every parent has a right, and you have more than 45 min right in 10 days. Right now, as things are, you can get her from daycare and keep her. Sounds phyco, but you can get a temp order saying you have full custody and she will have to fight you for custody. Well that is the way the law is here in my state.

Yes...i STRONGLY recommend getting an order from the court asap LAWYER if at all possible..

in florida..it would be hard to KEEP the child from their mom but if wherever you live...look into it ASAP

[D3m3nt3d]

I have a consultation with my lawyer who handled my other custody case. Problem is, I can't get in there until the 28th, which sucks. I dodged a question from her the other day asking where all the lingerie was. Like I am giving her that shit to use, when it was bought for OUR honeymoon. We got more important issues to tend to, obviously our child being the major one.

[wanabeMASSIVE!]

Love is a Bitch, then u marry one, then the bitch runs away with your Money, Kids and Best Friend!

Life...

[D3m3nt3d]

Love is a Bitch, then u marry one, then the bitch runs away with your Money, Kids and Best Friend!

Life...

Yeah she knew I was always skeptical of marriage. It was her idea to get married. Trust me if you all knew the story, you would say I was a dumbass to even get back with her, much less marry her.

She will get what she's got coming to her

[Neevor]

Having sex with her sister and mother always helps..

At the same time!

[Neevor]

Yeah she knew I was always skeptical of marriage. It was her idea to get married. Trust me if you all knew the story, you would say I was a dumbass to even get back with her, much less marry her.

She will get what she's got coming to her

Having read this whole thread... man I feel so bad for you. You sound like a really good dude. She was not acting like your woman the way she was behaving. I wish I could buy you a beer and hook you up with a couple of girl buds to make you feel better (assuming you're okay with me having already hit it lol).

I hope things get better for you bud. So sorry for your loss.

[D3m3nt3d]

I am a great dude bro, and no she was not acting like my woman. She did act like my woman up until about a month ago, when she get really drunk at a party and kept hugging one of her guy friends. Then in the middle of playing beer pong, with all these guys wrapped around the table - she tries to distract a girl by bending over and mashing her tits together in a low cut dress and shook em a little. Flat out disrespect.

[zimmy]

I wish it wasn't just assumed that women get kids in divorce...I think if you cheat or you are NOT WILLING to try to work it out, then you shoudln't get the majority custody of the kids.

[D3m3nt3d]

I wish it wasn't just assumed that women get kids in divorce...I think if you cheat or you are NOT WILLING to try to work it out, then you shoudln't get the majority custody of the kids.

Well I can tell you this bro. I am not going out without a fight.

[zaggahamma]

I wish it wasn't just assumed that women get kids in divorce...I think if you cheat or you are NOT WILLING to try to work it out, then you shoudln't get the majority custody of the kids.

I've heard of it going the way of the father but its VERY rare and i've actually had a judge TELL ME...."i dont care what you say sir" ....i have a lot of good memories with my kids and i see them every chance i get...when theyre grown they can see me whenever they want and i look forward to adult father/daughter visits...then you know they really want to see you or they wouldnt be coming around

[D3m3nt3d]

My oldest daughter has been an "every other weekend" child ever since she was born, and she loves me to death. She told her mom the other week she didn't want to come over if my wife and I were fighting, because she doesn't like to see me hurt. Not that we fight in front of them, but they know when the bedroom door is closed for an hour, that's what is going on. They were never fights, they were my wife back in her "I am just miserable and don't want to be here" moods.

[Hazard]

I dodged a question from her the other day asking where all the lingerie was. Like I am giving her that shit to use, when it was bought for OUR honeymoon.

OH HELL NO!

If you give that shit back to her I will personally hand you your ass..... throw that shit out man.....

~Haz~

[D3m3nt3d]

OH HELL NO!

If you give that shit back to her I will personally hand you your ass..... throw that shit out man.....

~Haz~

It's been taken care of bro, along with our sex toys. All she has is the one piece of lingerie she came with, and the like 20 condoms she came with. Guess that should have told me something there when a girl has that many rubbers in her drawer. Funny thing is we never used them.

[D3m3nt3d]

Ok, I am going to have to contact her concerning my daughter. There is some other shit I want to say, just to get it off my chest. So, I am thinking email will be the best way to do it. I am constantly worried about some stuff that will happen, hopefully I wont know anyway. I dont want to talk shit about any dude to her, cuz if so she will go running around with him just out of spite. It's amazing how in an instant a girl goes from your best friend to your enemy.

[NattyR1]

in casual conversation, see if she's willing to have a threesome

[D3m3nt3d]

in casual conversation, see if she's willing to have a threesome

Pretty much the most useless advice I have got yet. Thanks

[Shinalynn]

LOL well remember any email is submissable in court

[D3m3nt3d]

And so is facebook and their pictures

[thegodfather]

in casual conversation, see if she's willing to have a threesome

Great 3rd post dude...If you have nothing to contribute, STFU. This is very serious, and I dont appreciate u mocking a situation thats very upsetting to one of our respected bros on this board.

[D3m3nt3d]

Great 3rd post dude...If you have nothing to contribute, STFU. This is very serious, and I dont appreciate u mocking a situation thats very upsetting to one of our respected bros on this board.

Thank you alot my friend

[pskyle]

good luck, you did the right thing

[40plusnewbie]

Yeah she knew I was always skeptical of marriage. It was her idea to get married. Trust me if you all knew the story, you would say I was a dumbass to even get back with her, much less marry her.

She will get what she's got coming to her

YOU need to focus on getting what's coming to YOU! Time to start a new life, whatever that means for you.

Me, I hate my job and I hate MA winters. I am moving to Vegas to play poker full time and am going to go back to school, probably early childhood education so I can be a 44 year old dude in classes full of 18 year old chicks. I also only started working out a year ago so after a couple of cycles I should be looking pretty good.

I stayed single and uncommitted my whole life until age 35 when I met my current wife. I used to travel to NYC and Miami Beach for long weekends and vacations for the sole purpose of picking up chicks for one night stands (as well as have a wide girth of towns and bars and clubs around where I lived so I could circle in and out of them and never seem like a 'regular' there macking on chicks. I thought it was a great life until I fell in love.

Maybe it was really what I was meant to do and the divorce I am going through is a sign. Hell, I got fat as hell after I got married, now I"m in OK shape but not very muscular and not ripped, I do look very young for my age though. Some guys I know teaching macking skills to shy dudes for money, that's not my thing, I do it for the fun of it.

Look at the upside, the opportunities the freedom from your wife will give you. Maybe you need to be single for a while and make friends with lots of girls, commit to none. I never lied to a girl in my life (well not after age 22 or something lol) and had mad chicks all the time because I never focused on one. I didn't have love, but I had tons of excitement and adventure.

I'll be the guy at my 30 yr HS reunion built like a mo-fo with a 25yo girlfriend. Do you think I will be jealous of all my 48yo former high school classmates?

That's what's got me away from sadness, before my wife used to say she wanted to break up and i didn't. Now I've had enough of her abuse and am going bu bye.....

And after I grad college to teach little kids all my co-workers will be like 22 yo chicks, and all the little kids mommies will be like 25-30. I think me gonna like. I know that kind of job must pay shit, but I will be able to pull cash from the poker tables at night whenever I want and all summer long..

[NattyR1]

i should've written more... i absolutely did not mean it in a mocking tone. my parents divorced when i was 7 and i have attachment issues so this topic is not something i'd be less than 100% serious about.

posting what i posted, i meant it as a way to test the waters...i've used methods like that to see if the girl i'm with would stick with me and only me.
long story short, i made a convincing argument and she agreed. i left her soon after. If mine (or she)'s willing to have sex with another man infront of you, what would mine (or she) when you're not there?

I hope it hasn't progressed to the stage of divorce. I can honestly count with 1 hand the happy memories I have of childhood. others are fighting shouting yelling to say the least.

sorry for the misunderstanding.

[D3m3nt3d]

i should've written more... i absolutely did not mean it in a mocking tone. my parents divorced when i was 7 and i have attachment issues so this topic is not something i'd be less than 100% serious about.

posting what i posted, i meant it as a way to test the waters...i've used methods like that to see if the girl i'm with would stick with me and only me.
long story short, i made a convincing argument and she agreed. i left her soon after. If mine (or she)'s willing to have sex with another man infront of you, what would mine (or she) when you're not there?

I hope it hasn't progressed to the stage of divorce. I can honestly count with 1 hand the happy memories I have of childhood. others are fighting shouting yelling to say the least.

sorry for the misunderstanding.

Of all the hoe-like shit my wife has done in her time, I do not think 3 some is one of them. Then again, at this point nothing would really surprise me.

[D3m3nt3d]

i should upload these videos to youtube is what I should do

[chemicalromance]

man i wanna just join the bandwagon and say dam what a bad situation and i feel for you. surely if you payed her way thru nursing school while you were married you should be able to get that back. it's almost like an asset or investment that is partially or wholely yours.

with me being exactly your age this thread hits me hard for some reason. it amazes me how easily very attractive chicks/dudes can meet new friends/bfs/gfs thru social media now. i have been the uninformed person that chicks who were commited have cheated with. although never married i have also been absoutely burned at the stake by chicks like your wife. i also have a brother who in my opinion is heading down your road, he is such a compromising sapp that he would never leave tho(not saying you are). funny thing is his woman gets wet for the alpha male types that other members mention, i've seen it. thats about all i got for ya, good luck

[D3m3nt3d]

man i wanna just join the bandwagon and say dam what a bad situation and i feel for you. surely if you payed her way thru nursing school while you were married you should be able to get that back. it's almost like an asset or investment that is partially or wholely yours.

with me being exactly your age this thread hits me hard for some reason. it amazes me how easily very attractive chicks/dudes can meet new friends/bfs/gfs thru social media now. i have been the uninformed person that chicks who were commited have cheated with. although never married i have also been absoutely burned at the stake by chicks like your wife. i also have a brother who in my opinion is heading down your road, he is such a compromising sapp that he would never leave tho(not saying you are). funny thing is his woman gets wet for the alpha male types that other members mention, i've seen it. thats about all i got for ya, good luck

Thanks bro. Life is getting better I guess, this weekend was would have been our anniversary. But yeah, hot chicks like my wife, or "trophy wives" so to speak are usually the ones who have self esteem or psychological issues. I know mine does. She is very emotional at times and hard to deal with. She is making up reasons to text me once or twice a day, but I don't think I want anything back, other than my daughter of course.

It's a hard thing to swallow looks wise, and the fact we did have such a dynamic sex life at one point. But, the sad realization is all thats gone, and I don't know what was real or not. I know she us hanging out with one, if not two, of her ex's. These guys are just kids, that she always said had alot of growing up to do. But...seems like she is growing younger in her mind and wanting to fall back to all the partying and shit. They are a bunch of losers, and in the end she will see that. But it will probably be too late.

[ReBilly]

I'm not a religious guy bro, but I firmly believe in Karma. What goes around comes around. And don't feel alone, or like it was your fault. 70% of relationships have some sort of cheating (this stat is disgustingly high) that takes place at some time.

People are not always what they seem, most are out for themselves and would burn another, even somebody very close, to get what they want. A cheating heart sickens me to the core. Betrayal towards somebody who loves you deserves life to shit on them 10x harder than they do those who care about them. The tide will turn bro. She will have to live with the fact she knows her heart is not worth the love you gave her, and you'll live on knowing you were just and true. And the high five? Glad you kept your cool man. I've never hit a girl, but I probably would have in that situation. Both of them.

People give up their soul, their morals, their integrity, just to get laid... it just doesn't make sense why so many people are so twisted. I was cheated on once (that I know of) and the feeling has never left me. To this day, when I meet girls who are trying to get on me and find out they have a man, I shame them on the spot. It upsets me so much that if I found out one of my friends or brother's wives or GFs cheated, I would go kick that other guy's ass and shame that bitch too.

I'm normally a very nice guy, but cheaters are a lower life form and deserve what they got coming to them. Good people are those who stay true, control themselves, and care for others. Cheaters of love deserve to be cheated of everything important in life, since love is the most important and precious gift you can trust somebody with.

SO in short, **** that bitch. Go **** somebody who she was really insecure about and gloat about how much better they were in the sack than she could ever be.

[zaggahamma]

I'm not a religious guy bro, but I firmly believe in Karma. What goes around comes around. And don't feel alone, or like it was your fault. 70% of relationships have some sort of cheating (this stat is disgustingly high) that takes place at some time.

People are not always what they seem, most are out for themselves and would burn another, even somebody very close, to get what they want. A cheating heart sickens me to the core. Betrayal towards somebody who loves you deserves life to shit on them 10x harder than they do those who care about them. The tide will turn bro. She will have to live with the fact she knows her heart is not worth the love you gave her, and you'll live on knowing you were just and true. And the high five? Glad you kept your cool man. I've never hit a girl, but I probably would have in that situation. Both of them.

People give up their soul, their morals, their integrity, just to get laid... it just doesn't make sense why so many people are so twisted. I was cheated on once (that I know of) and the feeling has never left me. To this day, when I meet girls who are trying to get on me and find out they have a man, I shame them on the spot. It upsets me so much that if I found out one of my friends or brother's wives or GFs cheated, I would go kick that other guy's ass and shame that bitch too.

I'm normally a very nice guy, but cheaters are a lower life form and deserve what they got coming to them. Good people are those who stay true, control themselves, and care for others. Cheaters of love deserve to be cheated of everything important in life, since love is the most important and precious gift you can trust somebody with.

SO in short, **** that bitch. Go **** somebody who she was really insecure about and gloat about how much better they were in the sack than she could ever be.

good post bro.....didnt think kharma was a religion but also believe in it

d3ment3d...glad youre standing tall...yeh thats something that you'll have to play with....the ex texting/contacting you and if you piss them off they'll use the child as a pawn....seen it...lived it.....heard about it....as much of a lower life form she became you'll probably have to keep that to yourself AND US OF COURSE so you can keep things nice for your daughters sake..

keep living good

[D3m3nt3d]

I'm not a religious guy bro, but I firmly believe in Karma. What goes around comes around. And don't feel alone, or like it was your fault. 70% of relationships have some sort of cheating (this stat is disgustingly high) that takes place at some time.

People are not always what they seem, most are out for themselves and would burn another, even somebody very close, to get what they want. A cheating heart sickens me to the core. Betrayal towards somebody who loves you deserves life to shit on them 10x harder than they do those who care about them. The tide will turn bro. She will have to live with the fact she knows her heart is not worth the love you gave her, and you'll live on knowing you were just and true. And the high five? Glad you kept your cool man. I've never hit a girl, but I probably would have in that situation. Both of them.

People give up their soul, their morals, their integrity, just to get laid... it just doesn't make sense why so many people are so twisted. I was cheated on once (that I know of) and the feeling has never left me. To this day, when I meet girls who are trying to get on me and find out they have a man, I shame them on the spot. It upsets me so much that if I found out one of my friends or brother's wives or GFs cheated, I would go kick that other guy's ass and shame that bitch too.

I'm normally a very nice guy, but cheaters are a lower life form and deserve what they got coming to them. Good people are those who stay true, control themselves, and care for others. Cheaters of love deserve to be cheated of everything important in life, since love is the most important and precious gift you can trust somebody with.

SO in short, **** that bitch. Go **** somebody who she was really insecure about and gloat about how much better they were in the sack than she could ever be.

Thanks man. Seems you feel the same way I do. I do know she will live to regret this shit, and I do know it will come back to get her. I was absolutely shocked to see this person who I turned my life upside down for, in the end not give a damn about me, and everything i sacrificed to get her where her ass is today. I NEVER thought I could see someone who I felt was so genuine, so trusting and faithful, rot to shit in front of my very own eyes. Never even apologized to me for what she did.

I do not know what it is that takes a person who appears to be all about you, and you treat them with 200% love and respect, and they just decide they are going to be unhappy. In my wifes case, the sex was our biggest issue, because after she became unhappy she never cared to do it. Said she lacked that "want" or desire. But when she would let me hit it, ah hell it was all good for the rest of the night. I will just never understand how a woman will tell me how great of a husband I am, how great of a father, the best lover at one point, and then just "lose it". My wife has got alot of instability in her head, probably pertaining to her childhood, and unless she chooses to fix them, she will never be happy. Guess thats what she gets.

[rbg]

For the OP.

Get as far away from her as poss. Destroy every photo you have of her, so that in your weak moments you don't dig them out and torture yourself. Leave the girl with every fuggin bill to pay and all the responsibility for where she lives...see if her 'friend' will help her then..huh

The longer you're there, the more she's going to f#ck with your head, and ruin your self confidence.

You can't sort this out while she has no respect for you. As while you're there, she has her cake as is eating it...as the saying goes.

It ain't your fault bro.....nobody's perfect, but if she had issues with your relationship, she should come to you, not talk sex memories with ex's. Some women are like that, every fella they're with, they always hook up with the ex....it's just the way they are.

Good luck
There's no such thing as taking the high ground, only getting even, or out of there.

[D3m3nt3d]

For the OP.

Get as far away from her as poss. Destroy every photo you have of her, so that in your weak moments you don't dig them out and torture yourself. Leave the girl with every fuggin bill to pay and all the responsibility for where she lives...see if her 'friend' will help her then..huh

The longer you're there, the more she's going to f#ck with your head, and ruin your self confidence.

You can't sort this out while she has no respect for you. As while you're there, she has her cake as is eating it...as the saying goes.

It ain't your fault bro.....nobody's perfect, but if she had issues with your relationship, she should come to you, not talk sex memories with ex's. Some women are like that, every fella they're with, they always hook up with the ex....it's just the way they are.

Good luck
There's no such thing as taking the high ground, only getting even, or out of there.

She is out of the house bro. The only time we talk has to do with our daughter. I do not care to look at the photos because I have seen some that bother me. I will say her ex tried feeding me shit by text that they are friends, and so are we, and that it "aint like that at all"...etc. But when I call he doesn't answer? Right. I know she is over there, because she has texted me all week, then acted like a bitch today.

I say this, I know intimacy may have been a problem the last 6 months, but Jesus I got it more than one time in 5 months, like your ex did...when they dated a whole 8 months total. She used to say she had to watch porn to even get in the mood to sleep with him, she blamed girls leaving him because of sex etc...now you want to go screw him? Hell this cat would stay at my house every once in a while, we all worked together etc..kinda makes u wonder about a night I passed out now.

[Atomini]

This is one of the many reasons I will never get married. Ever.

Nobody has any integrity and fidelity in today's society (especially North American society) anyways (and that streams right into relationships as well), so it's all bullshit to begin with.

[bigslick7878]

This is one of the many reasons I will never get married. Ever.

Nobody has any integrity and fidelity in today's society (especially North American society) anyways (and that streams right into relationships as well), so it's all bullshit to begin with.

Could not have said it any better.

Don't get married and you won't have these problems.

50% get divorced another 20% stay but are miserable.

Those odds don't work for me.

[Atomini]

Could not have said it any better.

Don't get married and you won't have these problems.

50% get divorced another 20% stay but are miserable.

Those odds don't work for me.

Precisely. Both outcomes do not interest me at all, and I would say that remaining in a marriage that you are stuck in and miserable is even WORSE than getting straight out divorced. And I have tonnes of friends and people who I know that are in the "I hate my marriage but I have nowhere else to go" or "i'm an idiot, I should have left my husband/wife a long time ago but I didn't and now I regret it and i'm stuck here" situation.

Sorry, but no. And this is only one among MANY reasons why I will never get married and never have children. I could expand and elaborate on this but i'd be typing all night. These situations are pretty self explanatory of why i've made my decision on this aspect of life anyhow.

Even just having a relationship is an energy waster and a time waster. My personal perogative is that I would much rather invest my time, energy, and money into a career and into my life's work and be proud to have a long lasting legacy from that then some haphazard random relationship that could collapse for any small reason like a house of cards. The whole relationship game is completely random at best. There's no rhyme or reason, and no logic to that game AT ALL.

Just fvck women on the side.

[D3m3nt3d]

I always said I was never getting married too. You know how they say you cant trust a big butt and a smile? It's more like big tits and a smile for me. I got engaged quick, had all the signs to say hell no when we split the first time.

But, I figured that was when she was 23, at 26 and married with another child, she had grown up, wouldnt be so heartless etc....yeah bullshit