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Rutgers man who jumps off bridge to his death.
If you haven't read it, here is the story:
Tyler Clementi, 18, who was studying at Rutgers University in New Jersey, USA, jumped from the George Washington Bridge.
He posted a final message on the social networking website Facebook, which read: “Jumping off the gw bridge sorry.”
Paul Mainardi, a lawyer for his family said: “Tyler was a fine young man and a distinguished musician. The family is heartbroken beyond words.”
His driver’s licence and university identification card were found in a wallet left on the bridge on Sep 22 after two witnesses saw someone jump.
His body has not been recovered.
Fellow students Dharun Ravi, who was Clementi’s room-mate, and Molly Wei, have been charged with invasion of privacy and could face up to five years in prison if convicted.
They are accused of placing a camera in the room and streaming the images straight on to the internet.
In a message posted on microblogging website Twitter on Sep 19 Ravi allegedly said: “Roommate asked for the room till midnight. I went into molly’s room and turned on my webcam. I saw him making out with a dude. Yay.”
Steven Goldstein, chairman of the gay rights group Garden State Equality, said his group considers Clementi’s death a hate crime.
He said: “We are heartbroken over the tragic loss of a young man who, by all accounts, was brilliant, talented and kind.
“And we are sickened that anyone in our society, such as the students allegedly responsible for making the surreptitious video, might consider destroying others’ lives as a sport.”
My question:
What do you think should happen to the 2 students that filmed him? Do they go to jail or murder ? Hate crime ? Or was it a prank that took a turn for the worse but there shouldn't be any punishment ?
It's tough because for murder there needs to be intent. Did the students intend for harm to come from the prank? Could that possible mean manslaughter?
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10-02-2010, 08:27 AM #2
i think they intended to embarass him...i doubt they would have done it if they thought he would go jump off a bridge...but to go kill yourself because someone saw you making out? i wonder if the kid already had some issues
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10-02-2010, 08:40 AM #3
These are my thoughts exactly.....
What they did was clearly wrong but stuff like this goes on ALL the time in colleges across the nation..... we just don't hear about it. Guys film girls without them knowing..... etc..... I'm sure they just wanted to embarrass him. It's such a shame to lose such a young life.....
There was another story of a 13 year old kid who "came out" to his friends. The next day they made fun of him at school and he came home and hung himself in a tree. He was in a coma for 9 days before he died.
~Haz~
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10-02-2010, 08:46 AM #4Banned
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No. The people who had issues were Razi and Wei.
How could they possibly think it was okay to do this to another adolescent?? how have children become so desensitized nowadays?
What do you think would be going through your mind if you were: living on residence of your college, with no support system from your family nearby, and you're an in the closet homosexual who just UNKNOWINGLY had a live video of yourself engaging with another man, being streamed to the entire student-body. The worst part about it, in the supposed privacy of his OWN room.
IMO, it's unfortunate that prosecutors cannot charge the two with some form of manslaughter, or murder to some degree. However, because it's an "internet crime" it falls into that realm of "indirect effect" etc.
The one thing that does please me is that criminal charges for invasion of privacy, and the distribution of the video without consent will probably get them both 5 years in federal prison. Razi is about 140 pounds, he will be raped so many times in that 5 year span that he will finally get what he deserves. Arm for an Arm.
Just my 0.02...
Sorry for the graphic images.. this story just really got to me. Been following since day 1.
-VMLast edited by Vitruvian-Man; 10-02-2010 at 08:48 AM.
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If I am correct, if there is no intent but someone dies because of ones action that equals manslaughter.
Example. A drunk driver crashes his car into someone elses car and they die. The drunk driver did not intend to hurt anyone but because of his actions he did.Last edited by DSM4Life; 10-02-2010 at 08:59 AM.
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10-02-2010, 09:12 AM #6
So everyone who ever teased a kid who kills himself later on in life should all go to prison? There'd be no one left out to guard the place.
What they did was wrong, and the outcome is unfortunate, but they're not liable for his death IMO. It's not as if they systematically tortured him for years culminating in his suicide. This was an isolated incident. Do they deserve more than a slap on the wrist? You bet.
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10-02-2010, 10:48 AM #7
I think that they should face what ever law that is in place for what they did. I wonder if the law was to change for the current bullying issues and that people WOULD face harsher punishments if all this mean "playing" would diminish.
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10-02-2010, 11:26 AM #8
I think this is a really tragic case, and obviously this poor kid who killed himself must have had more deep rooted issues.
As for the two pranksters, well I think giving them a 5 year jail sentence is far too hard. Hear me out. I'm 100% confident that they would not have done this if they had known he had suicidal tendancies. That being said they should be kicked out of their Uni and certainly charged with some sort of "invasion of privacy" writ.
Manslaughter? That's a really slippery slope. If I bump into some girl at a bar, and she starts pestering me all night and I say to her in the end "look fvck off, I dont find you attractive at all" and she later kills herself, am I guilty then of manslaughter?
EDIT: bottom line is, people with severe depression will always walk on a knifes edge between fighting and deciding to just give up. Someone or something will always trigger that. You can't hold people accountable for someone who is severely depressed and decides to end their life.
Those two kids will be living with what they have contributed to for the rest of their lives. Kind of a life sentence in itself.
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10-02-2010, 11:31 AM #9
Your missing the part where the roommate live streamed him having sex with another man...essentially his roommate outed him
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10-02-2010, 11:34 AM #10
Everytime I hear this story I get nauseous which rarely happens to me.
Maybe something...something good will come out of it. Only time will tell.
Horrible Tragedy. Just simply horrible every which- a -way you look at it.
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The whole premise of labeling something a hate crime is wrong and un-american. A crime is a crime, if someone did something like that to me. Why is that any less of a crime against me vs someone else who is gay.
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10-02-2010, 11:46 AM #12
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10-02-2010, 12:13 PM #13
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10-02-2010, 01:06 PM #14
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10-03-2010, 01:52 AM #15
My thoughts also. Who here had NEVER teased anyone? We have all teased someone who was taller, shorter, fatter, skinnier, gay, straight, black, white boy, girl. We all have at one time or another been cruel so someone; some a lot more than others but I agree i dont think he should get manslaughter but he should get the MAXIMUM punishment for violating someone privacy which still could be a still prison sentence.
Yes it's hard enough being a teen and always has been. Kids are cruel. It's to bad he did not have enough support at home to accept him for who he was.
They need to be careful with this whole hate crime thing or like said, it will get out of hand. I dont think it was a hate crime. It was a crime of violation of privacy.Last edited by lovbyts; 10-03-2010 at 01:58 AM.
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10-03-2010, 02:21 AM #16
Imo they deserve some form of punishment, they may not have directly killed or intended for it to get out of hand like it did. However they invaded an 18 year olds privacy and filmed having relations with another man. From what dsm posted it is clear to me that Tyler didn't want this part of his life being revealed but yet those two went and revealed it anyway. Obviously they knew what would get said to Tyler from his peers and they probably looked forward to taking the piss out of him with the other kids. At the end of the day these two idiots broke the law and by doing so they created the catalyst that would lead to tyler taking his life.
They made their bed, now they lay in it.
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Totally agree with you but i think time they are a-changing. Maybe, just maybe if we have tougher bullying laws it would help curb tragedies like this. For example if we did have tougher laws and enforced them more (teachers not ignoring stuff) then maybe columbine would have never happened. There have been MANY more school shootings because of bulling we just never hear about them because stories like columbine trump them. So do i believe in tougher laws. The only issue i see is how are children/kids/students going to fully comprehend these laws? Is telling a 13 year old he could face life in jail going to stop him from pushing around another kid? Can that children fully comprehend what it means to life your life behind bars ?
I think its a very slippery slope.
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10-03-2010, 10:47 AM #18
Bullying laws? What happened to just getting in a fight? Now we need cops on the playground too? Should the FBI monitor little Susie's twitter account? Slippery slope indeed. When you're 13 there are rules against it, not laws, precisely because they are only kids.
I disagree with the idea of bullying laws altogether. You can't legislate against the petty rivalries of human nature, especially in regards to children. Life isn't fair. People will talk about you behind your back and say rude things to you or about you no matter how old you are. Get used to it, or get out of the pool.
If the guy had gone to the school board/cops these idiots would have at least been thrown out of school and been stuck on probation and community service.
Strong and proud people make for poor targets....Last edited by Ernst; 10-03-2010 at 10:50 AM.
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10-03-2010, 01:08 PM #20
Update
(CNN) -- Rutgers University will hold a vigil Sunday as the campus grapples with the suicide of a student whose sexual encounter with another man was broadcast online.
The body of Tyler Clementi, 18, was recovered from the Hudson River on Thursday, more than a week after he jumped from the George Washington Bridge, which spans the river between New York and New Jersey.
Two other Rutgers students -- Clementi's roommate, Dharun Ravi, 18, and Molly Wei, 18 -- have been charged with invasion of privacy. The pair allegedly placed a camera in Clementi's dorm room without his knowledge and then streamed his sexual encounter online, according to the Middlesex County, New Jersey, prosecutor's office.
The vigil will unite student organizations, campus offices and LGBT communities "as an opportunity for the members of the community and our allies to stand together united in peace, healing and social justice," a statement from the university said.
On Friday, the president of Rutgers pledged to meet with members of the university's gay community as the school deals with scrutiny in the wake of the suicide.
In a letter to the Rutgers community, President Richard McCormick praised what he called the school's "strong history of social activism on behalf of diversity." However, he said, the university "is an imperfect institution in an imperfect society."
University officials declined to respond to CNN's questions about when Rutgers first learned of the webcam incident, citing privacy laws. But a school spokesman said Friday that officials "did the best they can."
"I have spoken to virtually every principal involved in this matter, and they have attempted to handle this matter to the best of their ability," Rutgers spokesman Greg Travor told CNN.
McCormick said that the incident has raised questions about the campus climate.
"Students, parents and alumni have expressed deep concern that our university, which prides itself on its rich diversity, is not fully welcoming and accepting of all students," the president said in a letter.
New Jersey prosecutors were working to determine whether additional charges, including bias, may be brought against Ravi and Wei.
On the evening of September 19, Ravi allegedly sent a message via microblogging site Twitter about Clementi.
"Roommate asked for the room till midnight. I went into molly's room and turned on my webcam. I saw him making out with a dude. Yay."
Ravi tried to use the webcam again two days later, on September 21, according to the Middlesex County prosecutor's office.
"Anyone with iChat, I dare you to video chat me between the hours of 9:30 and 12. Yes it's happening again," Ravi is believed to have tweeted.
The next day, Clementi was dead.
A mobile status update September 22 on a Facebook page purportedly belonging to Clementi said: "jumping off the gw bridge sorry."
Clementi's family has remained largely quiet, except to say that their personal tragedy has raised a host of legal issues for the country.
"Regardless of legal outcomes, our hope is that our family's personal tragedy will serve as a call for compassion, empathy and human dignity," the statement said.
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10-03-2010, 01:19 PM #21Banned
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No, what bothers me is some dude who claims to be straight constantly talking about gay guys, sucking dick, homo this, homo that. Obviously setting up a ****ing camera just shows the guy's obsession with his gay roommate. He didn't do it to make fun of the kid, he did it because he's curious and cannot quit thinking of it!!!
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10-03-2010, 02:00 PM #22
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10-03-2010, 02:22 PM #23Banned
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couldnt have said it better
it being hard to say that to the parents doesnt make his statements wrong. suicide is selfish and i dont feel sorry for anyone who kills themselves. your perception of things is your reality. he could have handled things a lot differently. imagine for a second you were the other party. your now looking and prison sentence for something you thought was a prank and occurs on some level everyday.
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10-03-2010, 05:07 PM #24Anabolic Member
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Sad story. However, the kid was probably extremely disturbed or fvcked in the head from the get go. I hate to say it but he probably would have ended up committing suicide eventually, regardless of the roommmates actions. The kids who recorded him should not suffer any legal punishment. The guilt will keep them up each night and every night. They have to live with what they did the rest of their lives. There is no worse punishment than that.
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10-03-2010, 05:16 PM #25Anabolic Member
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A lot of fvcked shit has been happening in North Jersey schools lately. The Seton Hall shooting at the frat house was horrible. Luckily, they recently caught the scumbag who did it. Thank god my school has not had any tragedies thus far.
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I think videotaping someone without their knowlegde is a crime, especially if it's of a sexual nature. They should not be charged with a hate crime or any other crime that has to do with the kids death. They are not legally responsible for the kids actions afterwards. Now is that to say they are not somehow liable, no. I think they can be held accountable in a civil court matter. As shitty as that sounds, who on the planet as not been picked on. Teasing and being embarresed is part of life. Life is not fair, and will never be fair. The decision to try and charge these kids with a hate crime is purely political and knee jerk in nature.
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10-03-2010, 07:24 PM #27
It's worse than that. A couple years ago they already banned dodge ball in a few states at school because it was considered bullying. Another example of parents/teachers who dont want to take the time to open there eyes and see what is going one and put a stop to it before it gets out of hand but they want the government to just make more laws no one will enforce except to make an example once in a while. If parents/teachers would learn to monitor what is going on and step in when it looks unfair it would be much easier.
I saw we just put a Hit Girl in every school, she will put an end to the bullying.
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10-04-2010, 08:32 AM #28
weak people will kill themselves...Promise you if that happened to me...I woudln't be the one hurt...might be going to jail.
Just like all these stupid high school shooters....
GROW A PAIR...life is hard ...boo hooo...poor me...Dennis leary had the solution right on no cure for cancer..."Shut the **** up and pull up your pants"
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10-04-2010, 09:45 AM #30
Interesting question^^
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10-04-2010, 09:51 AM #31
Everything in life is situational, and I love how "tough" or "hard" people can be about things, but until you're in that situation there is no way you know how anyone or yourself will/would act.
Zimmy, I think DSM asks a valid question. If you had a son who grew up to be a closet homosexual and ended up killing himself, would you have nothing but contempt and think him a weak maggot as well?
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10-04-2010, 11:03 AM #32Anabolic Member
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A lot of that has to with how you were raised/brought up. A decent parent would raise their kid to not give a fvck about what others think ( to some extent) and to do what makes you happy. If my son were to commit suicide, I would parially blame it on myself for not making him tougher/stronger when he was growing up. Just my .02. None the less, still a very fvcked up situation.
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10-04-2010, 11:35 AM #34
Some here think that the boy had issues, well yeah he did. He was a closeted gay man. When your closeted you carry a lot of baggage around always worrying about what you do where you go am I going to be seen by someone who doesnt know about me. You worry about what you say always thinking before speaking afraid of saying something that will be misconstrued and outing yourself. These things take a toll on a person. When you grow up knowing you are gay and different than the 90% others around you, you are scared of telling anyone about your feelings and all this shit works on your psyche especially in High School. You withdrawal from your family and friends not able to talk about what is going on in your life, fearing that they will reject you if they know who you really are. And for those who think it is a chosen lifestyle, I ask why in the world would someone want to grow up being different from the norm and to put thereselves in a position to be bullied and ridiculed all their life. I knew I was gay when I was 14. Yeah that was fun. You go to church only to be told that you are an abomination worthy of death. That it is a chosen lifestyle and you can just change and be straight. every conversation you overhear on the subject is always negative. If you hang out in a gay area, you put yourself at risk of harassment, beatings and being killed just for who you are. You cant go to the prom cause that would out you if you took a male date. You cant go double dating with your straight friends always having to make excuses. You go out of your way to cover your tracks and always deny who you are as you cant take the sh*t from being outed especially at that age, if you are not emotionally ready for it. Life is tough enough without that added stigma of being different from the accepted norm. If these two students who broadcast this over the net had of just watched it from their dorm and not sent it to the world, I think this would have been a non issue and Tyler would not have taken his life, but by outing him to the world without him being psychologically prepared for the aftermath, I think just pushed him over the edge. Just wanted you all to see this from a gay perspective. As far as the laws and what should be done to the two involved, I think they just used bad judgement and didnt think about possible consequences so to me they shouldnt have their lives destroyed, maybe just a few months of shock time in the slammer. As they will have this death on their conscience for the rest of their lives. It just goes to show you that no one knows what is going on in the others lives and that what we all do and say really can affect the others around us.
Last edited by Shol'va; 10-04-2010 at 12:28 PM.
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10-05-2010, 01:35 AM #35
I can only imagine how difficult that would be but I also like to think I have helped a couple boys who where in your situation. They where friends of my daughter in Junior High. They where Emo type kids and pretty obviously Gay but their parents didnt know???? They use to confide in my daughter about how they felt being scared, the fact that their parents would not understand and how they would be ridiculed. She was good at not judging people since I had taught her NOT to judge people by their race, looks or sexual preference since she was very young.
They use to ask her how she though I would respond to them if I knew they where gay and she sort of embarrassed them by calling me over to them as asking point blank in front of them (because she knew my response). I just said so what? They would then ask what if they where my son or daughter? I would again respond with it didnt matter, there are a LOT more important things to worry about; Health, grades and how they presented themselves (manners). One of them asked me one time what if I found out my daughter was gay? I gave him a fake surprised look and said; WHAT???? you mean she isnt? LOL
They both of course eventually came out and confided in their parents. I told them NOT to try to just shock them or they would probably get the expected reaction from them. I said if you dont have an open dialog with them, if you dont talk to them much then now is the time to start and start slowly, little by little and confide in them about other things first to get them use to talking to you again. When you decide it's time to tell them make sure it's in private, it's not at a time when something else is going on or they need to be somewhere. Make it as un-stressful as possible for everyone as possible.
From what I remember one of them was surprised (I wasnt) that the parents already knew and everything was fine. The other kid had a rough time for a week or so but of course things settled down and the parents came to terms with it. He stayed the night at our house one time during the blowout and my daughter asked if he could sleep in her room on the floor since he was gay. I LOL and said NO, because he is gay does not mean I am going to treat him any different than any other boy. He respected that.
Yes it can be interesting being a parent.
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10-05-2010, 10:02 AM #37
You sound like a pretty good father figure there lovbyts. I don't think you could of handled the situation better.
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10-05-2010, 02:44 PM #38
I think its sick what they did, and deserve to be punished. I cant stand when others are evil/mean to people just cause they are different. Im sure that being gay and not open about it is stressful beyond comprehension. Its just sick.
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10-05-2010, 06:16 PM #39
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Sad stuff man. I hate suicide. We all lose when that happens.
They should definitely do jail time. I can't say about the charges I mean there has to be some proof if they are going to be charged with a hate crime i.e. witnesses would have to have heard them use slurs and hate language imo.
Good topic DSM. You are loved and accepted. Wish this kid had known he was too.
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