my gf wants to hangout with her ex gf

**goodlifting** · 07-29-2011, 03:31 PM

i've been dating my gf for a year now and she seems pretty cool. just pisses me off every once in a while but what woman doesn't.

she's bi and she had a relationship with a girl for 4 months or so before she was with me. her ex is coming into town for a couple of days and she wants to go get dinner with her or some shit.

now, my gf and i are in a clearly in a monogamous relationship and she says she's still really great friends with this chick. the topic of her hanging out with her has come up before and i've told her i don't have a problem with it if we could have a threesome with her. other than that i don't see why she needs to be hanging out with her even if they aren't having sex.

when my gf's ex comes into town i don't think they will sleep together or anything but it still kinda pisses me off. i'm not intimidated by her ex gf or anything but i just don't see why they need to be hanging out while i'm in a relationship with my gf.

am i being a dick if i tell her that i don't like it?

bottom line, i wouldn't hang out with any of my exes while i'm in a relationship. people you have previously been inside of and been in a intimate relationship with simply cannot be your close friends afterwards...

**cyounger100** · 07-29-2011, 04:43 PM

yea dont really think you should care let her go too dinner w her dont see y it would matter

**Shol'va** · 07-29-2011, 04:50 PM

Originally Posted by goodlifting

i've been dating my gf for a year now and she seems pretty cool. just pisses me off every once in a while but what woman doesn't.

she's bi and she had a relationship with a girl for 4 months or so before she was with me. her ex is coming into town for a couple of days and she wants to go get dinner with her or some shit.

now, my gf and i are in a clearly in a monogamous relationship and she says she's still really great friends with this chick. the topic of her hanging out with her has come up before and i've told her i don't have a problem with it if we could have a threesome with her. other than that i don't see why she needs to be hanging out with her even if they aren't having sex.

when my gf's ex comes into town i don't think they will sleep together or anything but it still kinda pisses me off. i'm not intimidated by her ex gf or anything but i just don't see why they need to be hanging out while i'm in a relationship with my gf.

am i being a dick if i tell her that i don't like it?

bottom line, i wouldn't hang out with any of my exes while i'm in a relationship. people you have previously been inside of and been in a intimate relationship with simply cannot be your close friends afterwards...

Me neither, at least not without my present B/F-G/F being there with me. This eliminates any potential trust issues. IMO

**goodlifting** · 07-29-2011, 04:56 PM

Originally Posted by Shol'va

Me neither, at least not without my present B/F-G/F being there with me. This eliminates any potential trust issues. IMO

I would rather not go with them. this ex of hers seems kind of like a fvck up or lost soul. i don't want to be an asshole but i think it's just a bit inconsiderate of her to go hang out with an ex.

**Gaspari1255** · 07-29-2011, 05:14 PM

You have every right to be pissed off. If she wanted to hangout with an ex boyfriend, would you be mad? I sure hope so. There is no difference when it comes to the sex of her old significant other.

**Gaspari1255** · 07-29-2011, 05:15 PM

Originally Posted by goodlifting

I would rather not go with them. this ex of hers seems kind of like a fvck up or lost soul. i don't want to be an asshole but i think it's just a bit inconsiderate of her to go hang out with an ex.

Story of my life when it comes to women I date and their ex-boyfriends, yet they still run right back to them.

**Shol'va** · 07-29-2011, 05:17 PM

Originally Posted by Bronzer

Story of my life when it comes to women I date and their ex-boyfriends, yet they still run right back to them.

This is why it's better to just get yourself a puppy.

**terraj** · 07-29-2011, 05:23 PM

I'm good friends with some of my ex-GFs. Trust and commincation Bro

**gixxerboy1** · 07-29-2011, 05:42 PM

Originally Posted by goodlifting

i've been dating my gf for a year now and she seems pretty cool. just pisses me off every once in a while but what woman doesn't.

she's bi and she had a relationship with a girl for 4 months or so before she was with me. her ex is coming into town for a couple of days and she wants to go get dinner with her or some shit.

now, my gf and i are in a clearly in a monogamous relationship and she says she's still really great friends with this chick. the topic of her hanging out with her has come up before and i've told her i don't have a problem with it if we could have a threesome with her. other than that i don't see why she needs to be hanging out with her even if they aren't having sex.

when my gf's ex comes into town i don't think they will sleep together or anything but it still kinda pisses me off. i'm not intimidated by her ex gf or anything but i just don't see why they need to be hanging out while i'm in a relationship with my gf.

am i being a dick if i tell her that i don't like it?

bottom line, i wouldn't hang out with any of my exes while i'm in a relationship. people you have previously been inside of and been in a intimate relationship with simply cannot be your close friends afterwards...

if they are really good friends and she is visiting from out of town how do you not understand why they would want to have dinner?
You also say your not intimidated but obviously you are.
And you really are messed up for the 3-some comment. You say you dont think they will have sex and you dont want them to get dinner but its ok if you get a 3-some. your the one with the issues not your girl

**Hoggage_54** · 07-29-2011, 09:23 PM

**Hoggage_54** · 07-29-2011, 09:36 PM

**marcus300** · 07-29-2011, 10:13 PM

The ex is in the past and shouldn't be apart of yours and your partners present or future. Doesn't matter what sex the ex is and for me you have a right to be concerned. I've been with a few ex.'s when they wanted to meet up for old times sake and they all had partners. the past should stay in the past, would she like it the other way around.

**CMB** · 07-30-2011, 12:03 AM

^^ words of wisdom

**Times Roman** · 07-30-2011, 12:10 AM

agree with marcus. she shouldn't be hanging out with an ex. doesn't make things clear if you say it's ok to have sex with her if you get to have sex with her also?

**DSM4Life** · 07-30-2011, 07:10 AM

I have never stayed friends with any one of my ex's (just how i am). The foundation of a relation is trust. Ask yourself if you trust her. That will tell you how strong your relationship really is. It use to drive me nuts in the beginning of our relationship when my bf wanted to hang out with his EX but it doesn't bother me at all because i trust him 100%. Plus i would crush both of their @#$@@#ing skulls if anything happened that a different topic all together

**gixxerboy1** · 07-30-2011, 07:24 AM

I dont know i'm friends with a couple ex's. Some were good people and great friends but we were right for each other relationship wise. Why not still be friends with each other if neither did anything bad and you were adult enough to know you are better friends then a couple

**Standby** · 07-30-2011, 07:37 AM

im to much of an asshole to have ex girlfriends as friends lol

but id probably be like wtf!!! then tell her to do what she wants

**baseline_9** · 07-30-2011, 07:38 AM

Maybe you could ask to watch them have sex....

JK

Seriously I would put her straight.... Tell her your concerns... As Marcus says, why don't you tell her your going for a drink with one of your ex's and see how she responds....

You could just go along with it, let he go and be cool with it.... Then in a few months say ur going to meet up with your ex, come home really l8, drunk just to make a point.

She would h8 that

**baseline_9** · 07-30-2011, 07:39 AM

Originally Posted by Standby

im to much of an asshole to have ex girlfriends as friends lol

but id probably be like wtf!!! then tell her to do what she wants

Lmao

**songdog** · 07-30-2011, 08:00 AM

I am with Marcus on this.But some people are weid on this.And your comment on a 3 some.Bad taste Bro.

**cyounger100** · 07-30-2011, 08:40 AM

Originally Posted by gixxerboy1

if they are really good friends and she is visiting from out of town how do you not understand why they would want to have dinner?
You also say your not intimidated but obviously you are.
And you really are messed up for the 3-some comment. You say you dont think they will have sex and you dont want them to get dinner but its ok if you get a 3-some. your the one with the issues not your girl

what he said

**SlimmerMe** · 07-30-2011, 08:52 AM

Depends on the strongest bond in the past relationship

**DSM4Life** · 07-30-2011, 09:16 AM

When you kiss her do you taste the other girls vagin?

**Flagg** · 07-30-2011, 11:33 AM

Wise words Marcus.

Personally, I dont know how anyone can remain "just friends" with an Ex, but that's just me.

**dec11** · 07-30-2011, 12:12 PM

id be pissed and was in the exact same situation afew years back, ended up tellin her to sling her hook. male or female, its no difference, past relationships have no place in present relationships period. shes being seriously inconsiderate to you

**Sicko** · 07-30-2011, 12:42 PM

In my opinion there is only one way that a ex can be "only" a friend. That is if one of you would never have sex with the other for any reason.So therefore which one of you is telling the truth about never wanting to have sex with the ex again, and do you believe either one of them? The bottom line is unless the sex was terrible with the ex then there will always be memories of those times every time you are around the ex. Sexual desire is a instinct, the desire can not be turned off any more than you can say " I will not feel hungry today" I have ex-girlfriends that I cant stand but I still rub one out thinking about some of the times we had sexually..heheheh. I would never let my wife hang out with one of her ex-boyfriends no more than I would expect her to let me. This is just a recipe for disaster..Eventually it will wind up causing doubt and mistrust and most likely an affair, in what other wise would be a healthy relationship. FYI just thinkin about some of my adventures with ex-girlfriends is gonna force me to go bang the wife right now...Point made....

**SlimmerMe** · 07-30-2011, 12:43 PM

I have remained "friends" with more than one x.

I think it all comes down to trust. And how men and women view this differently. Our, as in "we females", our bond is generally more emotional. Yours is USUALLY more sexual so I am assuming you are assuming we are thinking this more than likely, when we are not. You have to watch out for/ be more leery of our emotional bond with someone. THAT is when you need to have your radar out.

**stack_it** · 07-30-2011, 01:04 PM

I'm still very good friends with my ex. We don't have any interest in being intimate again or dating. Even when we were still together we were more friends than we were bf/gf. She told her new bf that we were still friends up front and that if he wasn't ok with it then he might aswell not waste his time with her. A lot of people think it's weird but why stop talking to someone who has been your friend for so long just because you can't make a relationship work. I'm not a jealous person so I guess that has a lot to do with it. I say let her go and trust her. If you don't trust her the relationship won't work anyway and if nothing happens and it's just dinner with an old friend then that just makes your relationship stronger.

**Sicko** · 07-30-2011, 01:27 PM

I am not saying it isnt possible to have ex's as friends, I personally just think that is the exception not the rule. On the same line of thinking Stack it,you say why not stay friends with an ex just because you couldnt make a relationship work? Then why not still have sex with the ex just because you couldnt make the relationship work..you see my point? Cheating is decision you have to make, trust does not make it not happen, so I wouldnt be around or want my wife to be around someone who they were not able to make a relationship work but had great sex..Would you? jes sayin...

**calgarian** · 07-30-2011, 03:00 PM

I never have exes they just dont let "me" go.....lol
to OP dude u r intimidated by it. I try and not let my past hang around........just me

**spywizard** · 07-30-2011, 03:01 PM

tell her..

"Thats cool, since you'll be gone, i'm going to call my ex and have dinner with her, not sure when i'll be home but you're cool with that right?? "

should make a point for her..

**bjpennnn** · 07-30-2011, 03:16 PM

was just with the best chick ever....hung out with my x and slept together...my recent chick found out and broke up with me ha. The bottom line is when x's see eachother i feel like a lot of the time you just end up in the sack together.

**bjpennnn** · 07-30-2011, 03:17 PM

Originally Posted by spywizard

tell her..

"Thats cool, since you'll be gone, i'm going to call my ex and have dinner with her, not sure when i'll be home but you're cool with that right?? "

should make a point for her..

this seems the most logical way to look at it.

**terraj** · 07-30-2011, 04:34 PM

Originally Posted by stack_it

I'm still very good friends with my ex. We don't have any interest in being intimate again or dating. Even when we were still together we were more friends than we were bf/gf. She told her new bf that we were still friends up front and that if he wasn't ok with it then he might aswell not waste his time with her. A lot of people think it's weird but why stop talking to someone who has been your friend for so long just because you can't make a relationship work. I'm not a jealous person so I guess that has a lot to do with it. I say let her go and trust her. If you don't trust her the relationship won't work anyway and if nothing happens and it's just dinner with an old friend then that just makes your relationship stronger.

good to see another self confident dude here...

again...it's all about trust and communication

**goodlifting** · 07-30-2011, 05:06 PM

thanks for the responses everyone.

gixxer, my 3some comment was simply a humorous hypotheical that i brought up to my gf and when i said it she laughed. i would never tell her that seriously.

i've been in this situation before and i've been on both sides of it. i haven't had trouble with past gfs hanging out with exes or whatever. like terraj said, it's all about trust/communication. the only thing that i was having trouble with was that my gf is coming from a past lesbian relationship. i think i might have been a bit intimidated by that like gixxer said.

i had a serious talk with the gf and explained to her that i would never hang out with any of my exes even if i'm still friends with them...just out of respect and consideration for her. i feel like she respects me enough to never fvck with me so i'm much more comfortable with the situation.

**gixxerboy1** · 07-30-2011, 06:00 PM

Originally Posted by goodlifting

thanks for the responses everyone.

gixxer, my 3some comment was simply a humorous hypotheical that i brought up to my gf and when i said it she laughed. i would never tell her that seriously.

i've been in this situation before and i've been on both sides of it. i haven't had trouble with past gfs hanging out with exes or whatever. like terraj said, it's all about trust/communication. the only thing that i was having trouble with was that my gf is coming from a past lesbian relationship. i think i might have been a bit intimidated by that like gixxer said.

i had a serious talk with the gf and explained to her that i would never hang out with any of my exes even if i'm still friends with them...just out of respect and consideration for her. i feel like she respects me enough to never fvck with me so i'm much more comfortable with the situation.

Sounds like you did the right thing.
I didnt know the 2 some comment was a joke. Hard to tell on a comp. But glad to hear you were just fvcking around

BG · 07-30-2011, 06:20 PM

Originally Posted by goodlifting

I would rather not go with them. this ex of hers seems kind of like a fvck up or lost soul. .

Tgis would worry me. Maybe shes here to try to get her back or just wants to break you up because she is jealous. Shes probably going to use a sob story to get your girls to have sex with her and rekindle feelings...............................THIS WOULD MAKE A GREAT PORN !!

**goodlifting** · 07-30-2011, 06:45 PM

Originally Posted by BG

Tgis would worry me. Maybe shes here to try to get her back or just wants to break you up because she is jealous. Shes probably going to use a sob story to get your girls to have sex with her and rekindle feelings...............................THIS WOULD MAKE A GREAT PORN !!

it probably would. god damn lesbians...