It's been a while since I posted anything personal on the board. Just because I have been concentrating on life, school and some other various activities that I suppose are now turned my life upside down.

As of 5 days ago my life has completely changed.

The mother to my only son and current gf of 4 years found all the necessary information to completely find out how big of a scum bag I really am.

She came across my email box that contained every email for the last 3 years(I have not even seen the folder she found, somehow it built all the emails as threads). Many of which were to & from girls that I have been hooking up with throughout damn near our whole relationship.

Then she went through my phone after watching me enter my password a day before. On my phone were pictures of the last girl I got with a few weeks ago.

I look back, I just been feeling that as a whole another personality that was doing this. But, it's not - It's just me being a complete scum bag & ass hole to my amazing girlfriend.

I am on a verge of a complete mental break down & for the first time in my life, I just can't see a future after this.

She sees me as a bad distant stranger and will from now on. I can't live with the mother to my only son having these kind of feelings toward me.


This situation is just too much for me to deal with. The second day I barely caught her when she was on the way out with my son to leave town. She wasn't gonna come back.


How can I mentally move on? I strongly doubt that any of this relationship is salvageable. Yet, me and her still communicate a bit now and seem to get along. But, she says things to me that will make a grown man cry and I just can't take it any more.

I built this double life and lived it for a long time. To return my life to any sort of normal, I swore to her that I have changed from this insane experience. But, in return I only get a BS okay.


I don't know if there is any solution to the situation I put myself into. But, I would never condone anyone doing anything similar in any way.