Suicide prevention (cold hard truth)

[Obs]

There will be no bs guarantees that everything will be ok in this thread.
This is not soft hearted or for people of weak constitution, be aware.


Twice in my life I was suicidal.
Once when I was in my early 20's and once when my ex wife left me and moved off with my kids.

I would never have "attempted" suicide. I would have succeeded. 7mm RUM's and .45 hydrashocks don't like skull getting in their way.

When I was a kid we had a huge family that was torn to pieces and irreversibly damaged because a young prodigy that held things together ended his life in his mid 20's. I know the damages it causes and to put it bluntly, your life isn't worth causing that much suffering.

Your pain will not end with you taking your own life. It will be compounded 100 fold and distributed to others to carry the rest of their lives.

If you have kids you can understand the thought of how horrible it would be to lose a child. Its not describable in any other way than simply the worst anguish that can be endured.

My father texted me and my sister a while back, drunk, and said he was "going away" and that he loved us, "but can't ctake the pain anymore. Gonna go see Mark." (The last suicide in our family)

I never responded in the group message.
Cold as fuck I suppose, but I wouldn't even bother to stop him. Here is why...

There are parents out there that have held their small childs hand trying to comfort them after suffering through hell for their entire lives. Kids that have no real concept of death or life. Mommy and Daddy are sad and crying, because they gotta go to heaven, but they don't understand it. After the child passes divorce is very common as emotions just are never the same again.

I listened to a story a while back of a man who lost his wife slowly to cancer. Months after she passed his only daughter got the same cancer and passed away at the age of 12. He still has to live with all those memories.

There are people so horribly disfigured, paralyzed, amputees, burn victims, and they have shit harder than most of you can imagine.

You know what the difference between them and you is? They didn't have a fucking choice. You do!

I am going to add a video of a little girl being calmed by her parents in a hospital bed, much the way a dying child is soothed by their parents,9 with diseases. I will spare you the real deal, this girl in this video is ok now.

If you have ever had the displeasure of holding someones hand as cancer takes their last breath as I have, you probably wont be able to watch even this.




Now...
I held this conversations with my self in a psychotic state once. I told myself what a pussy I was being about to put a bullet in my own head, because I was facing 10-30 years in prison, my kids were gone, I had no friend or relative, and my wife was sleeping with someone else.

I ended my pity party with a rage that followed me for a year. Sold the gun the next day. I decided I didn't give a fuck what it took, I would win. I wasn't gonna give up if the world was set on my shoulders. I went through quite a bit of shit, but I won because I finally gave up on giving up.

You can sit and wallow in a depressed sate until you do something stupid and selfish... Or... You can actually give it all you got and turn failing habits into successful ones.

Maybe the only thing you need to do is seek professional help? I personally didn't need it. I used gear and iron to break my bad habits.

The only thing I know for sure is that if you got nothing you got nothing holding you back. Get busy and stay busy. Replace bad behavior with good, hell... Punish yourself by doing productive shit.

I hadn't seen my mother in so long after I got my shit back together, I stood at her doorstep and she did not know who I was for thirty seconds.
I know my mother well enough to know that even though she didn't know what was going on in my life at the time, she prayed for me every night, because she loves her kids.

We fought bad in the past but as you get older you start to see how insignificant that kind of thing is in the grand scheme.

Now I look back where I was and imagine my neighbor coming over to check on me, and finding me dead at my kitchen table.
I imagine my mother getting word that her son had killed himself. Ex-wife, kids, co-workers....

Sorry to say but... My life could never be worth as much suffering as that selfishness would have caused.

SO I MIGHT AS WELL LIVE IT

Today my life is honestly good for the first time ever, but there are no guarantees. Life has shown me time and time again what a bitch it is.

If you are depressed go check out MS's depression thread in his signature, get help somewhere. Its not your fault.

I got out of my suicidal thoughts by falling into the right frame of mind at the right time and it was down to the wire. Most wont be so lucky I fear, so get help.

The next time you think about offing yourself you need to come here and read this.
Stop being a selfish little bitch. It's not about you.

I got to tell my own father this a dozen times in the past. I must say, I said damn near everything I could to help. Last time... Nah...

Go for it Dad, be that selfish! Your wife has worshipped you for 35 years... How about you just tear her heart and soul out? Your two daughters will be crushed and they have already battled with drugs and won.... Maybe they will pick back up where they left off, to numb the pain of your loss.
Me on the other hand, I won't shed a tear for your ass. You saw the pain your best friend killing himself wrought and now you want to do the same to us?

Hopefully this makes a dent in someones head and it will have been worth my effort a million times over.

However bad you think you have it and it may be terrible... Don't be that selfish. This is no fairytale, you will fuck up a lot of lives you won't be around to fix or comfort.

If you need a hug there are plenty to be found. I will hug your ugly ass if no one else will.

Don't be a bitch, light a fire under your feet, move forward, and don't look back with a broken mind.

[GirlyGymRat]

Powerful message!

I was having a really shitty day and down in the muck.....now crying at the courage of that little girl and the strength her parents.

I got nothing going on but a shitty day!

[Obs]

Powerful message!

I was having a really shitty day and down in the muck.....now crying at the courage of that little girl and the strength her parents.

I got nothing going on but a shitty day!

We all hit rough patches because life is hard, but we can't get so self absorbed that we become blind to how good we have it and how many others push on even though they have it so much worse. I let that happen way too many times.

[GirlyGymRat]

We all hit rough patches because life is hard, but we can't get so self absorbed that we become blind to how good we have it and how many others push on even though they have it so much worse. I let that happen way too many times.

So the little girl walked out of the hospital a few days later!!!!

Have hope!

[Obs]

So the little girl walked out of the hospital a few days later!!!!

Have hope!

I was just trying to give people a message without putting them in a crap mood.
There is a lot worse videos I could have posted, this one is a happy ending.

The grief it causes and holding anyones hand as something slowly kills them is not fun. I can't really watch videos like that.

I wouldn't watch that one until I read that she was ok. I have a blonde haired blue eyed girl 300 miles away right now I gotta go pick up friday. No matter what happens along the way I cant imagine how I would feel if she grew up and took her own life in a depressed state.

Everyone is more than they know to a lot of people.
Even if someone feels they have no one there is someone around the next corner that will be.

[Proximal]

Peace Obs. PM if wanted, you’re a good dude, knew it from the get go.

[Obs]

Peace Obs. PM if wanted, you’re a good dude, knew it from the get go.

Thanks proximal. Back at ya

[Proximal]

Thanks proximal. Back at ya

TY, bud.

[Richard Head]

Thank you for sharing OBS, takes balls to admit an experience like that. Hopefully your message help someone who is having trouble.

Proud to know you even if its just over the web.

[Obs]

Thank you for sharing OBS, takes balls to admit an experience like that. Hopefully your message help someone who is having trouble.

Proud to know you even if its just over the web.

Thanks buddy.
It didnt take any guts.
In the end, I am convinced that youvall are the weirdos lol!

[kelkel]

Obs you have quite a gift of diction. Far better than you know. Impressive.

[Obs]

Obs you have quite a gift of diction. Far better than you know. Impressive.

Thank you sir my gf says similar.

[kelkel]

Thank you sir my gf says similar.

You should find an avenue to pursue it.

[Obs]

You should find an avenue to pursue it.

I am afraid I am not mature enough yet. I started to several times but other things got in the way.
I will write a book someday probably.
I cant slow down enough to at this time.

Thank you thougb Kel I really appreciate that coming from someone so careful with their words.

[kelkel]

I am afraid I am not mature enough yet. I started to several times but other things got in the way.

You see that is exactly the point. Your not being mature enough (read-linguistically careful) is what makes your writings so much more real, from the heart and often times enthralling. Lose that aspect and it won't be near as compelling, imho.

[Proximal]

I am afraid I am not mature enough yet. I started to several times but other things got in the way.

Nah, I don’t see it it as a lack of maturity, just that other things got in the way.

The words above suggest maturity along with a hell of a lot of wisdom to boot.

It’s just your writing is raw because you wear your emotions on your sleeve.

Cards against humanity is insanely fun, ironically, we played it with a friend who killed himself a few months later. Man suicide is a mf’r ain’t it? We saw it coming but there was nothing we or anyone else could do about it.

[Capebuffalo]

You should find an avenue to pursue it.

He’s sent hundreds of stories to Penthouse.

[Obs]

He’s sent hundreds of stories to Penthouse.

I am the king of cards againt humanity.
I have a feeling you, kel, couch, and I could have a pretty amazing game of cards together.

[Obs]

I will be replacing the video.
Between last night and today it was copyrighted

[Obs]

I can feel the heat rising
Everything is on fire
Today is a painful reminder of why
We can only get brighter
The further you put it behind ya
But right now I'm on the inside
Lookin out, cause
I'm standing in the flames
It’s a beautiful kind of pain
Setting fire to yesterday
Find the light, find the light, find the light
I'm standing in the flames
It’s a beautiful kind of pain
Setting fire to yesterday
Find the light, find the light, find the light
Yesterday was the tornado warning, today is like the morning after
Your world is torn in half, you wake and let's wait to start the morning process
Rebuilding and you're still a work in progress
Today is a whole new chapter, it's like an enormous ass
The thunderstorm has passed ya
Your weather didn't poke his eyes out with the thorn bush that you
Used to smell the roses, stopped to inhale can't even tell your nose is stuffed
So focused on the brightside, then you floor the gas pedal
And hit the corner fast, the more asserted
Never looking back, may hit the curb
But everyday is a new learning curve, as you, steer through life
Sometimes you might not wanna swerve
But you have to to avert a disaster, lucky, no permanent damage
Cause they hurt you so bad, it's like they murdered your ass
And threw dirt on your casket, but you returned from the ashes
And that hurt that you have, you just converted to gasoline
And while you're burning the past, standing at inferno and chant
I'm standing in the flames
It’s a beautiful kind of pain
Setting fire to yesterday
Find the light, find the light, find the light
I'm standing in the flames
It’s a beautiful kind of pain
Setting fire to yesterday
Find the light, find the light, find the light
So familiarize with what having to swallow this pill is like
It happens all the time, they take your heart and steal your life
And it's as though you feel you've died because you've been killed inside
But yet you're still alive which means you must survive
Although today you may weep because you're weak and
Everything seems so bleak and hopeless
The light that you're seeking, it begins to seep in
That's the only thing keepin' you from leapin' off the motherfreaking deep in
And I'm pulling for you to push through this feeling
And with a little time that should do the healin'
And by tomorrow you may even feel so good that you're willing
To forgive them even after all that shit you been put through
This feeling of resilience is building and the flames are burning
Quick as fire would through this building, you're sealed in
But you're fireproof and retardant you withstood it
And as you climb up to the roof you're just chillin' and you look down
Cause you're so over them you could put the heel of your foot through the ceilin'
As time passes, things change everyday
But wounds, wounds heal
But scars still remaining the same
But tomorrow today's goin' down in flames
Throw the match at the passed up place
So feel the fire beneath your feet
As you barely even perspire from the heat
Exhale deep and breathe a sigh of relief
And as you say goodbye to the grief
It's like watching the walls melt in your prison cell
But you've extinguished this living hell
Still a little piece of you dies, you scream
I'm standing in the flames
It’s a beautiful kind of pain
Setting fire to yesterday
Find the light, find the light, find the light
I'm standing in the flames
It’s a beautiful kind of pain
Setting fire to yesterday
Find the light, find the light, find the light
Feel the burn, watch the smoke as I turn
Rising, a phoenix from the flames
With wings I will fly

[MuscleScience]

Powerful man, thanks for penning all that.

[Obs]

Powerful man, thanks for penning all that.

Thanks brother. I know you been there. Keeping the thoughts at bay can be a bitch.

Sorry the video was down. The guy literally copyrighted it 12 hours after I posted it.

[charger69]

I had a bad spell in November- actually, the bad spell had started earlier, but everything hit in November.
This was a song that I could relate to.

https://youtu.be/07nGxfIMctc



Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[SocioMachiavelli]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WcSUs9iZv-g

This is one of my go to's if I'm feeling that way.

[Obs]

I had a bad spell in November- actually, the bad spell had started earlier, but everything hit in November.
This was a song that I could relate to.

https://youtu.be/07nGxfIMctc



Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

I expected something from 1970.
Good song

[Proximal]

You all are very sentimental & contemplative, May I suggest another point of view?

In case you don’t listen to the end, classic lyrics have never been more spoken “If you’re offended then maybe you need to be offended. And one more thing, fuck you!”
https://youtu.be/nxcJW6bs5os

[Obs]

There will be no bs guarantees that everything will be ok in this thread.
This is not soft hearted or for people of weak constitution, be aware.


Twice in my life I was suicidal.
Once when I was in my early 20's and once when my ex wife left me and moved off with my kids.

I would never have "attempted" suicide. I would have succeeded. 7mm RUM's and .45 hydrashocks don't like skull getting in their way.

When I was a kid we had a huge family that was torn to pieces and irreversibly damaged because a young prodigy that held things together ended his life in his mid 20's. I know the damages it causes and to put it bluntly, your life isn't worth causing that much suffering.

Your pain will not end with you taking your own life. It will be compounded 100 fold and distributed to others to carry the rest of their lives.

If you have kids you can understand the thought of how horrible it would be to lose a child. Its not describable in any other way than simply the worst anguish that can be endured.

My father texted me and my sister a while back, drunk, and said he was "going away" and that he loved us, "but can't ctake the pain anymore. Gonna go see Mark." (The last suicide in our family)

I never responded in the group message.
Cold as fuck I suppose, but I wouldn't even bother to stop him. Here is why...

There are parents out there that have held their small childs hand trying to comfort them after suffering through hell for their entire lives. Kids that have no real concept of death or life. Mommy and Daddy are sad and crying, because they gotta go to heaven, but they don't understand it. After the child passes divorce is very common as emotions just are never the same again.

I listened to a story a while back of a man who lost his wife slowly to cancer. Months after she passed his only daughter got the same cancer and passed away at the age of 12. He still has to live with all those memories.

There are people so horribly disfigured, paralyzed, amputees, burn victims, and they have shit harder than most of you can imagine.

You know what the difference between them and you is? They didn't have a fucking choice. You do!

I am going to add a video of a little girl being calmed by her parents in a hospital bed, much the way a dying child is soothed by their parents,9 with diseases. I will spare you the real deal, this girl in this video is ok now.

If you have ever had the displeasure of holding someones hand as cancer takes their last breath as I have, you probably wont be able to watch even this.




Now...
I held this conversations with my self in a psychotic state once. I told myself what a pussy I was being about to put a bullet in my own head, because I was facing 10-30 years in prison, my kids were gone, I had no friend or relative, and my wife was sleeping with someone else.

I ended my pity party with a rage that followed me for a year. Sold the gun the next day. I decided I didn't give a fuck what it took, I would win. I wasn't gonna give up if the world was set on my shoulders. I went through quite a bit of shit, but I won because I finally gave up on giving up.

You can sit and wallow in a depressed sate until you do something stupid and selfish... Or... You can actually give it all you got and turn failing habits into successful ones.

Maybe the only thing you need to do is seek professional help? I personally didn't need it. I used gear and iron to break my bad habits.

The only thing I know for sure is that if you got nothing you got nothing holding you back. Get busy and stay busy. Replace bad behavior with good, hell... Punish yourself by doing productive shit.

I hadn't seen my mother in so long after I got my shit back together, I stood at her doorstep and she did not know who I was for thirty seconds.
I know my mother well enough to know that even though she didn't know what was going on in my life at the time, she prayed for me every night, because she loves her kids.

We fought bad in the past but as you get older you start to see how insignificant that kind of thing is in the grand scheme.

Now I look back where I was and imagine my neighbor coming over to check on me, and finding me dead at my kitchen table.
I imagine my mother getting word that her son had killed himself. Ex-wife, kids, co-workers....

Sorry to say but... My life could never be worth as much suffering as that selfishness would have caused.

SO I MIGHT AS WELL LIVE IT

Today my life is honestly good for the first time ever, but there are no guarantees. Life has shown me time and time again what a bitch it is.

If you are depressed go check out MS's depression thread in his signature, get help somewhere. Its not your fault.

I got out of my suicidal thoughts by falling into the right frame of mind at the right time and it was down to the wire. Most wont be so lucky I fear, so get help.

The next time you think about offing yourself you need to come here and read this.
Stop being a selfish little bitch. It's not about you.

I got to tell my own father this a dozen times in the past. I must say, I said damn near everything I could to help. Last time... Nah...

Go for it Dad, be that selfish! Your wife has worshipped you for 35 years... How about you just tear her heart and soul out? Your two daughters will be crushed and they have already battled with drugs and won.... Maybe they will pick back up where they left off, to numb the pain of your loss.
Me on the other hand, I won't shed a tear for your ass. You saw the pain your best friend killing himself wrought and now you want to do the same to us?

Hopefully this makes a dent in someones head and it will have been worth my effort a million times over.

However bad you think you have it and it may be terrible... Don't be that selfish. This is no fairytale, you will fuck up a lot of lives you won't be around to fix or comfort.

If you need a hug there are plenty to be found. I will hug your ugly ass if no one else will.

Don't be a bitch, light a fire under your feet, move forward, and don't look back with a broken mind.

I remember that guy. I just don't know where he went.

[Fluidic Kimbo]

I remember that guy. I just don't know where he went.

I've never met a person who was unhappy with where they were after reconstituting themsleves from the ground up.

I spent a few years trying to reclaim the person I was when I was 21, but none of us can turn the clock back.

I think you'll find that your greatest trait right now is determination. See if that gym you joined has a yoga class.

Also, alcohol is the devil.

[Mooseman33]

just focus on the very last line.

move forward brother. hour by hour, day by day. you are creating a new you, no doubt you will love urself again.

[Obs]

just focus on the very last line.

move forward brother. hour by hour, day by day. you are creating a new you, no doubt you will love urself again.

Absolutely brother I'm going to head to Lewisburg and go get a gym membership

[Obs]

Absolutely brother I'm going to head to Lewisburg and go get a gym membership

Paid six months advance got it....

[almostgone]

Paid six months advance got it....

Nice!!