Krugerrs Accountability

[Charlie67]

Morning y'all.
Firstly, devastating news about the shootings this morning. I hope no one had family in the area, or was affected.

It's a terrible thing indeed...

My gym has a strongman area with log press, stones, yolk, farmers walk and tyres.

I have serious gym envy. I wish my gym had that.

[krugerr]

Been hitting the strongman lifts for a couple weeks now, feeling sore all over again like a rookie! Which is always nice. We have atlas stones, but currently no soft matting to drop them on, so I have been loading a 105kg sandbag to shoulder height platform. But i broke it! And it belongs to one of UK's WSM competitors... oops!

Been feeling up and down again recently with mood swings, so I booked a blood test to see where I am at with the TRT and the results were not good. 19 weeks on Nebido (1000mg) now and levels are still in the shit.




1st Blood Test (Before) - 24/02/2016- Free Test 4.4nmol/L // Total Test 72 ng/dl
First Nebido - 03/03/2016 - 1000mg
2nd Blood Test (After 4 weeks) - 01/04/2016 - Free Test 9.8nmol/L // Total Test 225 ng/dl
Second Nebido - 02/06/2016 - 1000mg
3rd Blood Test (After 6 weeks) - 14/07/2016 - Free Test 7.1nmol/L // Total Test 201 ng/dl

[krugerr]

Posting this in here as its part of my blog, as well as my TRT journey. As seen in previous post, Test levels have dropped which is a shame. LH/FSH are suppressed, which indicated the presence of exogenous testosterone . So my precription Nebido isnt bunk.. its just not enough?!

Free Testosterone	201 pmol/L	225-9999 pmol/L
Serum TSH Level (XRCC)	3.5 mu/L	0.35-4.5 mu/L
Serum Testosterone	7.1 nmol/L	10 - 35 nmol/L
Serum Sex Hormone Binding Globin	17 nmol/L	10 - 70 nmol/L
Serum Cholesterol	4.9 mmol	<5.2 mmol/L
Serum Triglycerides	2.11 mmol/L	0.28 - 2.2 mmol/L
Serum HDL Cholesterol	1.02 mmol/L	1 - 10 mmol/L
Calculated LDL Cholesterol	2.9 mmol/L	<3 mmol/L
Serum Cholesterol/HDL Ratio	4.8	<4
Serum LH Level	<0.3 u/L	2 - 9 u/L
Serum FSH Level	0.8 u/L	1 - 18 u/L
Serum Oestradiol Level (XRCC)	102 pmol/L	0 - 146 pmol
Haemoglobin Estimation	183 g/L	130 - 180 g/L
Total White Cell Count	5.3 (10*9/L)	4 - 11 (10*9/L)
Platelet Count	182 (10*9/L)	150 - 500 (10*9/L)
Red Blood Cell Count	6.28 (10*12/L)	4.5 - 6.5 (10*12/L)
Haemocrit	0.52 L/L	0.38 - 0.54 L/L
Mean Corpuscular Volume (MCV)	82.8 fL	76 - 103 fL
Mean Corpusc Haemoglobin (MCH)	29.1 pg	27 - 32 pg
Mean Corpusc Hb Conc (MCHC)	352 g/L	310 - 360 g/L
Red Blood Cell Distribution Width	12.8 %CV	11 - 16 %CV
Percentage Hypochromic Cells	0.1 %	0 - 2.5 %
Neutrophil	2.86 (10*9/L)	1.5 - 8 (10*9/L)
Lymphocyte Count	1.8 (10*9/L)	1.3 - 4 (10*9/L)
Monocyte Count	0.32 (10*9/L)	0.2 - 0.8 (10*9/L)
Eosinophil Count	0.16 (10*9/L)	0.0 - 0.8 (10*9/L)
Basophil Count	0.05 (10*9/L)	0.0 - 0.3 (10*9/L)

[RaginCajun]

Posting this in here as its part of my blog, as well as my TRT journey. As seen in previous post, Test levels have dropped which is a shame. LH/FSH are suppressed, which indicated the presence of exogenous testosterone . So my precription Nebido isnt bunk.. its just not enough?!

Free Testosterone	201 pmol/L	225-9999 pmol/L
Serum TSH Level (XRCC)	3.5 mu/L	0.35-4.5 mu/L
Serum Testosterone	7.1 nmol/L	10 - 35 nmol/L
Serum Sex Hormone Binding Globin	17 nmol/L	10 - 70 nmol/L
Serum Cholesterol	4.9 mmol	<5.2 mmol/L
Serum Triglycerides	2.11 mmol/L	0.28 - 2.2 mmol/L
Serum HDL Cholesterol	1.02 mmol/L	1 - 10 mmol/L
Calculated LDL Cholesterol	2.9 mmol/L	<3 mmol/L
Serum Cholesterol/HDL Ratio	4.8	<4
Serum LH Level	<0.3 u/L	2 - 9 u/L
Serum FSH Level	0.8 u/L	1 - 18 u/L
Serum Oestradiol Level (XRCC)	102 pmol/L	0 - 146 pmol
Haemoglobin Estimation	183 g/L	130 - 180 g/L
Total White Cell Count	5.3 (10*9/L)	4 - 11 (10*9/L)
Platelet Count	182 (10*9/L)	150 - 500 (10*9/L)
Red Blood Cell Count	6.28 (10*12/L)	4.5 - 6.5 (10*12/L)
Haemocrit	0.52 L/L	0.38 - 0.54 L/L
Mean Corpuscular Volume (MCV)	82.8 fL	76 - 103 fL
Mean Corpusc Haemoglobin (MCH)	29.1 pg	27 - 32 pg
Mean Corpusc Hb Conc (MCHC)	352 g/L	310 - 360 g/L
Red Blood Cell Distribution Width	12.8 %CV	11 - 16 %CV
Percentage Hypochromic Cells	0.1 %	0 - 2.5 %
Neutrophil	2.86 (10*9/L)	1.5 - 8 (10*9/L)
Lymphocyte Count	1.8 (10*9/L)	1.3 - 4 (10*9/L)
Monocyte Count	0.32 (10*9/L)	0.2 - 0.8 (10*9/L)
Eosinophil Count	0.16 (10*9/L)	0.0 - 0.8 (10*9/L)
Basophil Count	0.05 (10*9/L)	0.0 - 0.3 (10*9/L)

<img src="http://forums.steroid.com/attachment.php?attachmentid=164600"/>

Maybe Kelkel and those guys can help out this

Is your Nebido from the pharmacy?

[krugerr]

Maybe Kelkel and those guys can help out this Is your Nebido from the pharmacy?

Hey mate. I've another thread in the TRT sections that they've been helping with. I duplicated the info here as it's relevant to my long term blog.

Yeah the Nebido is from the pharmacy


Sent from my iPhone using App

[RaginCajun]

Hey mate. I've another thread in the TRT sections that they've been helping with. I duplicated the info here as it's relevant to my long term blog. Yeah the Nebido is from the pharmacy Sent from my iPhone using App

Gotcha bud!

Hope you can get that shit figured out

[krugerr]

Gotcha bud!

Hope you can get that shit figured out

Ditto mate. Had a good discussion going in my TRT thread. Som epoints raised by IMT were of sound logic, but the evidence provided by a few knowledgable members was also logical, and backed up with evidence. All in, was educational! Need to get my Booster shot (its very late!) and get referred back to the Endo.

Hows things keeping with you RC?

[RaginCajun]

Ditto mate. Had a good discussion going in my TRT thread. Som epoints raised by IMT were of sound logic, but the evidence provided by a few knowledgable members was also logical, and backed up with evidence. All in, was educational! Need to get my Booster shot (its very late!) and get referred back to the Endo.

Hows things keeping with you RC?

thats good hear.

me, meh, surviving!

[krugerr]

So I have reworked my diet a little, swapping rice for potatoes, adding some eggs and avocado in. And a banana too.

Calories come in about 500 under maintenance (Assuming I get to the gym as often as I want!). The diet is a simple prep diet, multiples of how things are packaged at the supermarket, and fairly low cost at £45 a week for it all.
So its 1 pack of chicken, 1/2 bag of potatoes, 1 bag spinach (week) etc. And it seems to have balanced out to an OK macro split, and food volume! Id have preferred higher fat and lower carb, as Im a wuss for food volume.

Calories: 2748Kcal
Protein: 309g (1236Kcal) (45%)
Carbs: 203g (812Kcal) (30%)
Fat: 79g (711Kcal) (25%)

See attached image.

[krugerr]

Hit the gym last night. He bloody installed some parkour equipment, and moved all the strongman stuff around. Its getting very cramped.

I broke the 105kg sandbag last week, was hoping they'd replace it by now. Love loading that thing to head height, its technically more difficult than a stone, as the weight moves in your hands.
Was in a really foul mood yesterday for some reason, maybe im hitting puberty again!

Fancied doing some shoulders, got to the gym a bit late so didnt have as much time as I wanted.

Warmed up with some standing military press (Ladder bar), then moved onto the log for full clean and presses. Then some accessory work. Really enjoying the Strongman lifts as the primary to the workout, with some HIT style accessory work. I feel the best of both worlds combine here, practical strength, but Im scratching that itch by including some HIT bodybuilding movements.

Military Press
*Warmup - 40kg x 12 - Easy
*Warmup - 40kg x 10 - Easy
*Warmup - 60kg x 8 - Easy
*Warmup - 60kg x 5 - Easy

Log Press
*Working - 75kg x 8 - Medium
*Working - 80kg x 5 - Medium
*Working - 75kg x 5 - Medium
*Working - 75kg x 5 - Hard (Rest Pause)

Cable Side Raise
*Warmup - 14kg x 12 - Easy
*Warmup - 14kg x 10 - Easy
*Working - 24kg x 15 - Hard (Dropset down, and partials til failure, total 15 reps)

Rear Delt Pec Dec
*Warmup - 38kg x 12 - Easy
*Warmup - 47kg x 12 - Easy
*Working - 68kg x 12 - Hard (Dropset and a rest pause)

Biceps - Single Cable Curl
*Warmup - 14kg x 12  - Easy
*Warmup - 14kg x 10 - Easy
*Working - 24kg x 12 - Hard (Dropset and partials til failure, total 12 reps)

[RaginCajun]

Damn big guy, that's some work there!

[krugerr]

Damn big guy, that's some work there!

Thanks buddy. I had a proper sweat on, which is always a good indicator.

Sat at work now and again, im sore in places that dont usually get sore from bodybuilding routines.

[tarmyg]

Just caught up reading your other TRT thread. If you ignore the obvious mudslinging I have a feeling that the only one who will know what is right for you is YOU after your blood tests and trial and error. Highly entertaining thread however!

[krugerr]

Just caught up reading your other TRT thread. If you ignore the obvious mudslinging I have a feeling that the only one who will know what is right for you is YOU after your blood tests and trial and error. Highly entertaining thread however!

Thanks brother. Yeah I'm going to go by how my bloods respond. Funny though as I quite honestly think IMT has some solid points regarding the general math. But obviously you can't deny the studies. The two don't marry up entirely.

Entertaining though as you said. And educational for myself if nothing else.

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[krugerr]

Krugerrs Diary - Entry 3

Feeling awful of late. Mood swings, no libido, lacking confidence, which has lead to lack of motivation and further weight gain.
Still around the 300lb mark but im sure BF% is around 25% now.

Had my 3rd injection of Nebido, but due to my Dr refusing the booster, and the long injection protocol, my trough levels were ~200ng/dl, so Im basically swinging up and down through puberty.
Ive been referred back to an Endo, but as i cant afford the private care right now, I need to await contact from the NHS. I feel though that my Dr, good as he is, just doesnt get TRT. Hoping to get an Endo that I dont have to teach myself. Someone that can instantly look at my blood work, see that my nebido protocol isnt working, and use common sense to adjust it. People like Marcus apparently have stupid high levels on even 12-14 weeks, but myself I seem to be in the dirt after 6 weeks, could just be the lack of booster and not having been on it long enough to have built up, but Id have hoped for higher levels by the end of my second dose. As this trough level is exactly the same as my pre-TRT levels.

Otherwise - Kids are doing great. not seeing them as much as I would have liked, but needs-must. Im working a lot of hours, but its paying off, we're finally treading water, and I suspect by christmas we'll be sailing! Ive a few bits of this and that on the go, commission and work, plus bouncing, should be a pretty decent christmas and lead into a great next year. Things at home have greatly improved since the Mrs' antidepressants kicked in. She is doing much better, which has really helped us come closer together again. Shes out of work though, which has placed an even greater burden upon me to ensure everything is paid for. All in expenses, not including food or petrol it comes to about £2300 on the first day of the month. Yeah.... fun!

Had a couple of rough weeks though, lost my nan (Dads stepmum), she went in her sleep which was sad, we werent close, but she was around a lot when I was younger. My other nan (Dads mum) fells down the stairs and tore skin and adipose tissue from the muscle. It looks like someone sliced into her shin, then pulled it all down to the ankle. Disgusting. Shes been in hospital now for a couple of weeks, and just had a skin graft. Again, wasnt that close with her, but she looked after us a lot when I was really young, currently she lives in the middle of nowhere and only has her dog as a companion. That dog was her sole reason for continuing in life. You'll notice I said was. The dog has been staying with my dad while she was in hospital. It had a seizure on sunday evening and died shortly afterward. My old man was pretty upset, losing his stepmum, then watching the dog suffer, then fearing the effect it would have on his mum. I was round his on sunday night trying to cheer him up a little, but he just kept sobbing, so I text my brother and asked him to come home, he replied saying he was on the way to his car now (He'd been with a chick!). 15 minutes later the phone rings, and its the police telling us that my brothers car has been in a Road Traffic Accident, we need to attend the scene but he cannot comment about the driver. You can imagine the sick feeling immediately hitting me. Turns out though that my brother hadnt quite made it to his car, a drunk driver had hit it while it was parked. So glad he was fine, but the fucking stress of late has been unreal.

Anyway, thats about all thats on my mind right now.

[RaginCajun]

Damn bud, sounds like you are going through a lot right now

stay strong krugerr

we are here for ya!

[krugerr]

Damn bud, sounds like you are going through a lot right now stay strong krugerr we are here for ya!

Thanks brother. Feel like I'm getting on top of it. Blogging it here helps get it out, helps process it. The support from all here makes everything better.

Yeah, I think it referred to athletes competing in the Olympics.
Asked if they could guarantee a gold, but it meant they died very young, a large portion said yes. I cant find the study either though.

[RaginCajun]

Thanks brother. Feel like I'm getting on top of it. Blogging it here helps get it out, helps process it. The support from all here makes everything better.

Yeah, I think it referred to athletes competing in the Olympics.
Asked if they could guarantee a gold, but it meant they died very young, a large portion said yes. I cant find the study either though.

i love this place!

definitely here to help in anyway possible

[krugerr]

i love this place! definitely here to help in anyway possible

Agreed there. And thanks brother for checking in here. Nice to know you're not talking to yourself sometimes. Even if the sole purpose is a public diary.

Sent from my iPhone using App

[krugerr]

Just when you think you're getting your ducks in a row...

Got into the office this morning and my boss called me in for a meeting. He presented another opportunity for me, leaving me with the choice of two now, both with advantages and disadvantages.

Option 1: I switch to mortgages, my salary would remain the same, but with high commission opportunities. This is a lot more local to home (32 miles / 1 hour a day).
Option 2: I stay in the main office, my salary doubles, but not much chance of commission. This means a lot of travelling, (100miles / 3.5 hours a day)

Now im stuck... obviously I want the salary, but it means leaving before 7am and getting home around 7pm.
This would also mean no gym time at all for the foreseeable future as it opens at 6 and closes by 9.
Thoughts? Im quite literally stuck now.

[tarmyg]

Do you need more money right now?

[krugerr]

Do you need more money right now?

Definitely.

Both options lead to more money, one is guarenteed, the other has higher potential, but its commission and not guarenteed.

[tarmyg]

If the money need is urgent the answer is clear if it is not and a "nice to have" the answer is also clear, in my mind anyways :-)

[krugerr]

If the money need is urgent the answer is clear if it is not and a "nice to have" the answer is also clear, in my mind anyways :-)

I was leaning toward the fixed income option. Sometimes we're clouded by other things, Im not in a great place and wanted to ensure I wasnt just being shortsighted.
Going to discuss the particulars with the Mrs later on, but I suspect we'll come to the same answer.
They've offered me a 50% pay rise, with a guaranteed bonus to match. So essentially its double my current salary. I just need to negotiate a little higher!

Boys... the first round at Christmas is on me

[tarmyg]

I think a big congratulations is in order regardless of your choice. Hard work pays off :-)

Sent from my SM-G928G using Tapatalk

[krugerr]

I think a big congratulations is in order regardless of your choice. Hard work pays off :-)

Sent from my SM-G928G using Tapatalk

Thank you brother. Its been a long slog to get here. Lots of hours worked, lots of study time. With this the Mrs will be able to quit her part time job and kick back as a stay at home parent. I'll be able to cover everything plus change!

[SlimmerMe]

Hey Krugerr. I checked out your BW and am curious if you plan to get your TSH to an optimal level versus a normal level. Right now your TSH reads 3.5. I have a hunch you'd have more energy if you got closer to 2.0 or even 1.5.

Remember when reading TSH levels, the numbers are inverted. Low means high and high means low. I know when I got my levels closer to 1.5, I felt better. The doc was fine with normal. I prefer optimal.

Something to think about.

SM

[krugerr]

Hey Krugerr. I checked out your BW and am curious if you plan to get your TSH to an optimal level versus a normal level. Right now your TSH reads 3.5. I have a hunch you'd have more energy if you got closer to 2.0 or even 1.5. Remember when reading TSH levels, the numbers are inverted. Low means high and high means low. I know when I got my levels closer to 1.5, I felt better. The doc was fine with normal. I prefer optimal. Something to think about. SM

Thanks Hun. I've responded in the TRT thread.

I'll look into how I bring these down.

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[krugerr]

Krugerrs Diary - Entry 4

So another blurb of my life. Previously I spoke about losing my nan, the other being in hospital and losing the dog. Well, it gets worse. My nan thats was in hospital is still in. The open wound on her leg wont heal, even after a skin graft it. Today we got news that her sister (My nan's sister) has just been diagnosed with a brain tumour and given less than 6 weeks to live.
Yeah, so that sucks. We don't know how to tell her, but we're going to have to asap because she might go a lot sooner than 6 weeks. Just seems like life is a big pile of shit right now.

For those that have been following my TRT blog, things there are looking a bit better. I'm still all over the place with mood. Levels are within "normal", Dr has approved my 6 week booster, and I have a referral to the Endo. I've some good friends up the hospital, and they've said this Endo is one of the best in the country. Fingers crossed that holds true.

My daughter has just turned 9 months and is standing up now. Every day she learns something new and amazes me with her beautiful personality. All she does is smile and blow kisses. Im grateful for this, as it really lifts me up. On the other hand, my 5 year old has turned into a complete shit. We have to spend most of the day telling him off, which is sad because I dont want to be on his case. I wish he'd just behave so we could have a better time. I'm already out of the house working so much, the little time I do see him I'm reinforcing punishments and rules and I feel like a wanker.

Mrs went to the Dr and has had her Citalopram (SSRI) taken from 10mg a day, to 40mg a day. Which has caused some mood swings and severe lethargy in her. However, overall she seems to be improving. Which makes being at home a little nicer.

Work is going well. I've started some of my own cases and have got some commission due soon. Which will be handy, as the car just cost my £240 for a new EGR valve. Doorwork is also going well, I got a new venue, bringing me to 3 bars, and about 15 staff. Word is spreading that we provide good security, and we dont take any shit. My buddy and I have about 16 years experience, which isn't massive in the scheme of things. But in the UK, there is such a high turnover of doorstaff, that its worth something. Between us we either know the shit heads, or the shit heads know our reputation enough not to bother. Either way, the bars we've got have no trouble as people know better. Eyeing up a few other places as well, which could really add to our revenue.

Think that's about enough for now. As always, thanks for reading, and/or following. I welcome all comments and feedback!

-Krugerr


PS. Edit.

I advise all you guys to give this a go. I have found that blogging here is a real release for me. Ive said it before in the Dungeon. This place is unique. Im anonymous, but I still have many people here that I trust, and would class as friends. This makes my blogging especially useful, because I am able to release everything on my mind, to people that I know, without the fear of rebuke from people I have to deal with in real life. Plus, its cheaper than a therapist!

[RaginCajun]

stay strong big fella, your family needs you!

Best wishes to your fam

[krugerr]

Krugerrs Diary - Entry 5

Well, its been about 5 weeks since my last confession. For those not following my TRT blog, I thought I was making progress, having regular blood tests, and had my 6week booster planned. I had a blood test at 4.5 weeks and my levels were back in the dirt. I continued with my "booster" at the 6 week mark, however it was really the same as a first shot, as I was starting back from my base levels again. The Dr has suggested its due to my injection technique (Seriously?). I had to explain to him how half lives work. Anyway, I have my Endo appointment on the 17th. Im just hoping with my frequent blood tests, that he'll have enough evidence to help me, without starting from scratch again.

Because of that, I have had horrible mood swings, Up and Down like a fvcking teenager. Some days I am fine, and happy, others I just want to shout and scream and stamp my feet at everyone, and everything for no apparent reason. Funny when you think about it, I dont remember feeling this way as a teenager. For those of you with teenage kids, I strongly suggest cutting them a bit of slack. I can vouch for them and say that it really is outside of their control! Im still very down most of the time, I have no drive for anything, I have no motivation to do even the simplest of things. I login to these forums daily, but cant bring myself to write a constructive reply, so I dont.

Life generally is ok, got some commission coming in now, earned about £1k extra on top of my usual salary this month, and it'll just continue to roll and grow. This will really help with the run up to christmas!
Work is so-so, some days I love working, other days I want to tell them to shove it up their ass. Because when I started I made a point of learning everything, and learning stuff outside my remit, I am now often relied upon to help out with things that are now no longer in my role. Very frustrating!

Went and met with Eddie Hall recently for a seminar, great to get some insight into the life and training of the first man to lift 500kg. He covered his young life, and his reasons for training, his diet, training routines and the stress it placed on his family life. Then we got into some training, and every person got the chance to demonstrate and have corrected their Deadlift and Log press. Due to time constraints we only got a few minutes each, but still, a few minutes with that man will make a lot of difference!

Weight is upto 141kg (310lbs).

Thanks all, peace out
-Krugerr

[Chicagotarsier]

I feel you bro. I have been where you are. My 2-cents is you have one shot in a million with Doctors that can truly help you with TrT.

Go spend 1000 pounds on Test E Powder, EA, EO, and some cheap filtration gear. That will give you a lifetime supply of Test E and self medicate. Use the Doc to get you the AI needed and be done with it. Fortune Favors the Bold.

I lost 5-years of good life due to doctors doing all they could to not get me on TrT.

[krugerr]

I feel you bro. I have been where you are. My 2-cents is you have one shot in a million with Doctors that can truly help you with TrT.

Go spend 1000 pounds on Test E Powder, EA, EO, and some cheap filtration gear. That will give you a lifetime supply of Test E and self medicate. Use the Doc to get you the AI needed and be done with it. Fortune Favors the Bold.

I lost 5-years of good life due to doctors doing all they could to not get me on TrT.

Unfortunately Drs here wont give AI even when you're on TRT, the chance of getting it if self dosing is non existant.

I could self administer TRT, I have before. But without regular (paid) bloodwork, you've no way of knowing where your levels are at. All in, its safer and easier to go the TRT route through the NHS.

[hammerheart]

Unfortunately Drs here wont give AI even when you're on TRT, the chance of getting it if self dosing is non existant.

I could self administer TRT, I have before. But without regular (paid) bloodwork, you've no way of knowing where your levels are at. All in, its safer and easier to go the TRT route through the NHS.

You could do like me and tell doc your on nebido while doing self-TRT with another compound

[krugerr]

You could do like me and tell doc your on nebido while doing self-TRT with another compound

Sneaky sneaky! If I am honest, I just dont want to inject twice weekly for life.

[GirlyGymRat]

Your 310 pounds???? Really. I had no idea. How tall are you?

[hammerheart]

Sneaky sneaky! If I am honest, I just dont want to inject twice weekly for life.

Noted, but you ought to find a solution, and there aren't many alternatives available.

[krugerr]

Noted, but you ought to find a solution, and there aren't many alternatives available.

I guess! Im trying to avoid Enanthate at all costs, I just cant bare the thought of 104 injections a year just to stay "normal".
Even twice a month Nebido (If I can get that protocol) would be considerably better!

[krugerr]

Your 310 pounds???? Really. I had no idea. How tall are you?

Im 6'4" (194cm) hun. My Bodyfat isnt great though, probably around 25% or more currently. Im ~300lbs I think in the picture attached.
In answer to the other question you were thinking. Yes, like a jackhammer.

*Edit*

A Jackhammer with an incredibly short battery life! Hahaha

[krugerr]

Krugerrs Diary - Entry 6

Well its been two months since I last posted in this blog. I have been battling through with life.
My TRT hasnt really progressed. The Endo was fairly useless and has requested to see me again in Feb.
Until then I am to continue on 10weekly injections. Not entirely happy, but I know it is best for me, and my wellbeing to continue on the TRT route. Despite being tempted on several occassions to crack open my stash and self administer!

My partner has been dipping in and out of depression and we have on several occassions discussed seperation. This has made life at home really hard. We bicker or fall out over almost everything. The last week has been much better though, we hashed out a lot of issues by text. I find that format easier to deal with, more time to consider and respond to points. A face to face argument just gets emotional and things are said that we wish we could take back.

My kids are doing OK. Son is still lagging a little bit at school, but hes getting there. Daughter turned one last week. Shes walking, saying a few words, and generally being a monkey. Shes the light though. A single smile from her turns the world upside down. We are going to tackle the problem of her dummy this week. She wakes several times during the night when she loses it, and I have had just about enough of the repetitive trips to sort it out.

Work has had its ups and downs. Im still working between two locations and thats a real bummer. Three days im close to home (15miles) the other two I am much further (50miles) and its horrendous to travel to/from. Im still bouncing the weekends, the continuous shift pattern changes is turning my brain into mush. Brain fog doesnt cut it! My eBay business has started to take off, its early days but we have built a solid relationship with a supplier and the orders are starting to roll in. Its only pennies in the grand scheme of things, but its made about £200 a month so far in profit. Hopefully this will scale as we get more reputation and feedback.
We've actually identified a small (Read: Tiny) gap in the market, which we're going to explore in the new year. This does require some capital input though, but I am optimistic on this front. Particularly with the use of Fulfilment By Amazon, we are hoping to launch our newer venture on this platform!

Other than that - not much else has transpired. My weight has stayed fairly consistent, I havent had inclination or opportunity to hit the gym with any regularity. The new year should bring changes to my work locations, which means I WILL fit this in again. Some recent pictures of me at a wedding was the cherry on top. Im officially a fat bastard.

As always, thanks for reading!