40y/o Female Log

[davesah1]

"Hair and Nails are growing super fast, kind of cool and kind of a pain"

I can't keep a clean shaven look for more than one day, and the maintaining the rest of my body is like trying to keep a gorilla hairless so its mostly a giant pain lol.

I feel you on the "Yeah, I think they are cute...you guys probably just vomited in your mouths a little"

Most ladies aren't exactly uhhh drawn to my physique. Either "I'm too big, my veins are gross", or their scared and stereotyping.
I just smile and keep on keeping on.

Very interesting log btw.

With regards to road rage, Luis C.K. hits the nail on the head in this clip.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x8062QEFk5g

[itsmybody]

"Hair and Nails are growing super fast, kind of cool and kind of a pain" I can't keep a clean shaven look for more than one day, and the maintaining the rest of my body is like trying to keep a gorilla hairless so its mostly a giant pain lol. I feel you on the "Yeah, I think they are cute...you guys probably just vomited in your mouths a little" Most ladies aren't exactly uhhh drawn to my physique. Either "I'm too big, my veins are gross", or their scared and stereotyping. I just smile and keep on keeping on. Very interesting log btw. With regards to road rage, Luis C.K. hits the nail on the head in this clip. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x8062QEFk5g

Dear Sasquatch, (aka @davesah1) you are a trickster...now we know why nobody can find you...you are man-scaping and hiding. Damn it...I wasted a ton of $ looking for your hairy self!!!

As for people not liking, stereo typing and thinking the veins are gross....understand. Have accepted this is gonna be a lonely road and will def be single forever...GOOD nobody will take my food!

Def think the ratio of personal body space and muscular development/striations/vascularity are directly proportionate. At my leanest I get 10 feet of space and zero contact...currently (at my biggest) I get 5 feet space paired with very minimal contact. The bonus of this is, as you know, we rarely have to wait for any piece of equipment...people pretty much see you and clear the path. Not sure about you but I dig that! Of course the glares and whispers will go on forever but who cares. As long we are making ourselves happy and not hurting anyone in the process it doesn't matter if we are accepted or not.

Luis CK is the real deal...that was awesome, timing couldn't be better either since I'm in the city this week. Thank you!!!

Keep on keeping on!

[GirlyGymRat]

Hear ya loud and clear about work, stress and hours. That irritability factor is bad for me while on cycle. It makes me have zero patience with people. I'm already that way to begin with but rarely speak up, find while on cycle I am more prone to snapping off for real....sometimes good/sometimes not so good but have to keep and eye on it too. The worst is when driving...hello potty mouth Patty!

Awhhhh I feel normal. F bombs when I am driving alone. Lol.

I graciously accepted his hand in truce within 24 hours of the incident.

I try to live in harmony with everyone / everything. I was fine until über stress.

I have been accused of having a "halo" - can't do anything wrong - have respect. Don't want to toss my halo to the curb because of a cycle.

It was a good reminder - stay cool. Catch more bees with honey

[GirlyGymRat]

Def think the ratio of personal body space and muscular development/striations/vascularity are directly proportionate. At my leanest I get 10 feet of space and zero contact...currently (at my biggest) I get 5 feet space paired with very minimal contact. The bonus of this is, as you know, we rarely have to wait for any piece of equipment...people pretty much see you and clear the path. Not sure about you but I dig that! Of course the glares and whispers will go on forever but who cares. As long we are making ourselves happy and not hurting anyone in the process it doesn't matter if we are accepted or not.

Hmmm. I went thru a transition after losing 40 lbs. I thought ppl treated me better when I was a size 2 versus size 12/14. Upon reflection, perhaps it was my perception as I was happier, more approachable.

Maybe these ppl are whispering because you don't have a muffin top. Maybe they are staring because they don't know what a belly button really looks like. :P

Clearing a path is sign of respect.

[itsmybody]

Hmmm. I went thru a transition after losing 40 lbs. I thought ppl treated me better when I was a size 2 versus size 12/14. Upon reflection, perhaps it was my perception as I was happier, more approachable. Maybe these ppl are whispering because you don't have a muffin top. Maybe they are staring because they don't know what a belly button really looks like. :P Clearing a path is sign of respect.

40 pounds, GO YOU! WE HAVE A BAD A$$ IN THE HOUSE!!!! Well done my dear, very well done.

People are mean. That is the bottom line. Unless you fit into what society feels you should look like you will be treated differently size 2, 12, or 212 it doesn't matter. If any one thing about you is different, even if it's something as simple as an accent or the color of your hair, you don't fit in. It's very sad.

I have long time friends who knew me before and they even notice how I am treated differently. They ask how I am able to handle it. My reply, 'I'm different and shine in my own way'. Spent almost all last summer covered in long pants/long sleeve shirts cause I was beyond conscious about the striations and vascularity after being told how hideous it was by my old bosses. This year I have accepted it as just a part of what makes me shine even brighter and actually am proud of the veins. I smile at the glaring/whispering offenders now and keep on keeping on.

Don't know what a belly button looks like, LMAO! Got a good chuckle there. Haven't yet ventured out with the mid section showing. Baby steps for me. Tank tops are a big deal at this point, yet to do shorts...maybe next year!

[itsmybody]

Think there is a pattern developing...updating log every two days.

TGIF...hope you are all ready for the weekend.

Here it goes
THURSDAY LEGS (30 second rest between sets
puked again
LEG EXTENSIONS 10 Drop Sets each leg to failure each set. Left leg then right leg then repeat. (50, 45, 40 pounds) this weight was maintained until the sixth set. Then form went to shit so finished last 4 sets with (40, 35, 30 pounds) Upon standing so fatigued legs buckled underneath me....HAPPY DANCA ANS SATISFACTION
LEG PRESS Wide Stance Superset w/Close Stance 10 Drop Sets. Each set was 8 plates, 6 plates, 4 plates. HOWEVER ON THE 3rd n 4th sets I forced 10 plates, 8 plates and 6 plates. It WAS AMAZING!
WEIGHTED WALKIMG LUNGES 4 sets of 25 with 50 pound barbell
THE END
Legs were toast and are killing me today!

[zempey]

Killer intensity, must have been seeing stars at some point. Is that 10 plates total, or 10 plates a side? Either way that is some nice weights you are pushing.

[davesah1]

Nice! You leg press almost as much weight as I do, if not more because you pre-exhausted quads. Wow. Props

I got 9 plates on each side for ten then saw those fuzzy sparkles and almost blacked out. I don't got the nice leg press that can self spot. Its a weird looking machine where you sit different than the nice ones. You press more out and less up.

[itsmybody]

Killer intensity, must have been seeing stars at some point. Is that 10 plates total, or 10 plates a side? Either way that is some nice weights you are pushing.

Hold....let's make sure we have the facts straight...10 plates total....have done 12 but can barely get 2 with full range of motion so will stick with 10 until things get stronger...sticks still hurt!!!! Yes, always see stars and always have to seriously concentrate on breathing through everything. It's intense for me. Thank You!!!!

[itsmybody]

Nice! You leg press almost as much weight as I do, if not more because you pre-exhausted quads. Wow. Props I got 9 plates on each side for ten then saw those fuzzy sparkles and almost blacked out. I don't got the nice leg press that can self spot. Its a weird looking machine where you sit different than the nice ones. You press more out and less up.

Hold....let's make sure we have the facts straight...10 plates total....have done 12 but can barely get 2 with full range of motion so will stick with 10 until things get stronger...sticks still hurt!!!! Yes, always see stars and always have to seriously concentrate on breathing through everything. It's intense for me. Vomit bucket forever on the side

[zempey]

I have never tossed my cookies on the leg press, but I have gone dark after a set of 32 plate total. I had to sit there for a minute until the lights came back on in my eyes. Can't push legs too hard these days, knees and back are getting old, lol.

[itsmybody]

I fell asleep after the first part of yesterday's log so will continue now. Today is rest day however went on a 20 minute walk around the city so guess that is counted as cardio...try really hard to stay away from that!!!!

Yesterday was Chest Bi/Tri
As usual trying to pull back on upper body to allow for lower body to hopefully balance out at some point. It was pretty much a pump and flush.

Machine Chest Flys superset with military and wide push-ups 3x
Incline Dumbbell Press superset with dumbbell flys 3x
Barbell bicep curls 3x
Dumbbell bicep curls 3x
Dumbbell Hammer curls 3x
Tricep dips (hanging) 3x
Skull Crushers 3x
Cable tricep Pushdowns 3x
Stretched a tiny bit...at least it was something.

Sides...appetite going back up...it's so confusing how it jumps around.

Also...Tuesday will be the end of the 4 week cycle....have decided to keep going one more week...considering upping dosage this last week to 10mg....any thoughts on that would be greatly appreciated.

Enjoy your Saturday Y'all and if your hitting the gym...make everyone around you work harder and be their inspiration!!!!

[itsmybody]

I have never tossed my cookies on the leg press, but I have gone dark after a set of 32 plate total. I had to sit there for a minute until the lights came back on in my eyes. Can't push legs too hard these days, knees and back are getting old, lol.

32????? Holy geeezzzzzuuuuussssss!!!!!!!!!

[itsmybody]

32????? Holy geeezzzzzuuuuussssss!!!!!!!!!

If you ever see a disgustingly vascular chick in one of the southern states please say hi cause it's probably me and I want to shake your hand and give you a big ole hug for that!

[zempey]

I don't find vascularity disgusting at all, it shows your dedication and hard work. If we ever cross paths we can hit the weights for a killer session.

[itsmybody]

I don't find vascularity disgusting at all, it shows your dedication and hard work. If we ever cross paths we can hit the weights for a killer session.

Bout time somebody doesn't gross out by it! Thank you!!!!!

[itsmybody]

Sunday...the 1 day of the week that truly rules when it comes to Legs. Actually anything on a Sunday rules. Especially in the afternoon cause besides just handful of people and the one or two new staff members the gym is a ghost town and that makes for a very happy lady!

Today was more of a focus on low weight high reps since I'm hitting legs on this cycle 3x per week. 2 heavy as ten elephants combined days and one back off but do everything you can think of day. I think it's working. Really can not wait to get back to just 2 leg days a week. This legs every third day stuff is kickin my butt...apparently it's what I need.
AGAIN NO HEAVY LIFTING TODAY
STANDING HAMSTRING CURLS...each leg 3x@30 pounds... No rest until all 6 sets complete
LEG EXTENSIONS...each leg 3x@40 pounds...No rest until all 6 sets complete
LEG PRESS...4 sets, 4 plates (each side) wide stance super set with narrow
HACK SQUAT...4 sets, 2 plates (each side) wide stance super set with narrow
WIDE STANCE SQUATS...2 sets, bar only, 50 reps....(no breaks...just burn all 50 of those bad boys and pray it ends quickly)
Standing Calf Raises...each leg individually 3 sets
Toes IN, CENTER AND OUT...squeeze till tears form in my dang eyes.
HIP THRUSTS/GLUTE BRIDGES...3 sets@80 pounds.
BACK EXTENSIONS...3 sets, body weight only..focus on going slow as possible

Still can not decide if I'm going to run the var a fifth week or if I will increase dose to 10mg for the week. What I do know is the pump isn't as extreme this week and recovery time is a little longer. Kind of lost however will figure it out. Since this is the 5th cycle possibly the body has built up a resistance to the var and it's time to increase.

[GirlyGymRat]

Idk. I read conflicting info on this. I think the body has plateaus with diets so why wouldn't it with AAS. Breaking through a plateau means time for a change. Either stop or bump up.

Did u ever get this var tested? I am about ready to spend the $20 and get a test kit for that stuff on the bottle called "winstrol "

[itsmybody]

Idk. I read conflicting info on this. I think the body has plateaus with diets so why wouldn't it with AAS. Breaking through a plateau means time for a change. Either stop or bump up. Did u ever get this var tested? I am about ready to spend the $20 and get a test kit for that stuff on the bottle called "winstrol"

Yes, I agree on plateaus...ugh. No wonder I'm growing...this chick needs to level up!

As for testing. Yes tested and yes var. Thankfully!!!! Have a girlfriend that competes and she tested it with a kit with me to show me exactly how it's done. That was pretty dang nerve racking seeing this is the 5th cycle of it!

[itsmybody]

Sides....Grumpy...grumpy, grumpy, grumpy. All the grumpy leads to impatience, impatience leads to even more grumpy which turns into full out leave me alone lifting aggressively mode...of course leads to more weird looks which leads to music even louder, pushing even harder, forceful focus, heavier reps with just one more until it either hurts way too bad or weight goes flying out of my hand like gravity has 100% defeated me.

That's it for the sides today...honestly the grumpy is welcome. People can tell they need to stay away and it always makes for a good session. Maybe more people need to piss me off. I should just call my sister on leg days, she is more aggravating than anyone in the world!

Today was delt day...they are swollen...everything gave out by the end...mini pumpkins are destroyed. Only problem with that is that's not exactly how you are supposed to do things when you are trying to back off of upper body.

Oh well.

[NACH3]

Hear ya loud and clear about work, stress and hours. That irritability factor is bad for me while on cycle. It makes me have zero patience with people. I'm already that way to begin with but rarely speak up, find while on cycle I am more prone to snapping off for real....sometimes good/sometimes not so good but have to keep and eye on it too. The worst is when driving...hello potty mouth Patty!

I can definitely relate to the NO PATIENCE thing very well, and even more while on! It's driving that gets me... Well anything I guess related to waiting lol - I just yell for a second and laugh at myself - I know what it is - that's why I end up laughing...

[NACH3]

Sides....Grumpy...grumpy, grumpy, grumpy. All the grumpy leads to impatience, impatience leads to even more grumpy which turns into full out leave me alone lifting aggressively mode...of course leads to more weird looks which leads to music even louder, pushing even harder, forceful focus, heavier reps with just one more until it either hurts way too bad or weight goes flying out of my hand like gravity has 100% defeated me.

That's it for the sides today...honestly the grumpy is welcome. People can tell they need to stay away and it always makes for a good session. Maybe more people need to piss me off. I should just call my sister on leg days, she is more aggravating than anyone in the world!

Today was delt day...they are swollen...everything gave out by the end...mini pumpkins are destroyed. Only problem with that is that's not exactly how you are supposed to do things when you are trying to back off of upper body.

Oh well.

Your delts/back definitely POP! Sick shreddedness!!!

[zempey]

I am grumpy and impatient on this blast of tren , doesn't help that my gyno blew up again. Good thing I have good self controll or I would kill somebody, I have been feeling very aggressive and violent lately. I backed everything off to minimum dosages to tey and get the moobs to settle and get my head back.

[GirlyGymRat]

Ya'll just funny. I enjoyed reading your post and the replies.

Especially the family comment. LMBO

[itsmybody]

I can definitely relate to the NO PATIENCE thing very well, and even more while on! It's driving that gets me... Well anything I guess related to waiting lol - I just yell for a second and laugh at myself - I know what it is - that's why I end up laughing...

Driving....yeah def gonna spend a few hours havin to explain that to the BIG GUY in the sky one day too....uhhhhhh...won't stop sailor mouth Samantha though (Samantha is the alter ego I tend to blame these things on). Laughing it off is the best way to deal with it but when your friend (who knows nothing about you supplementing says 'you sound like you have roid rage ) you kinda have to turn the volume down a bit....oops

[itsmybody]

Your delts/back definitely POP! Sick shreddedness!!!

Thanks!!!!! I try!!!!!!!

[itsmybody]

I am grumpy and impatient on this blast of tren, doesn't help that my gyno blew up again. Good thing I have good self controll or I would kill somebody, I have been feeling very aggressive and violent lately. I backed everything off to minimum dosages to tey and get the moobs to settle and get my head back.

Gyno....bad bad bad....still haven't figured out why this happens to guys. Us women just lose everything up there...if it wasn't for the water balloons I would be a dang pancake!

[itsmybody]

Ya'll just funny. I enjoyed reading your post and the replies. Especially the family comment. LMBO

Well it's true...she is a bonafide idiot. Of course if anyone messed with her they would be destroyed immediately however ...a complete Zumba B*tch Valley Girl! Even lives in Las Angeles. 100% Paris Hilton nonsense. Absurd...def gonna call her next leg day.

[NACH3]

Bout time somebody doesn't gross out by it! Thank you!!!!!

I like it... It's an acquired taste... As Devsah1 mentioned mist women don't like the veiny look - F it... I agree it's all part if the game(and I've got so much more work/growing to do)

[NACH3]

This thread is a good one!! It's got everything - rage, impatience, honesty and funny as hell haha

[itsmybody]

Chest day...it was blah! Having a difficult time backing off of upper body...feel like nothing was accomplished, thinking maybe just do upper body every other week while waiting on lower body to catch up. Decisions decisions....it's all so strategic...like playing jenga with your body...too much here or there destroys the balance and everything falls down. Did however decide to endure 15 min of the Stair Devil as well as STRETCH...both items being the least favorite! Had the pleasure of photo bombing the dude next to me who just finished an hour on Satans Spit so not a complete loss. LMAO when he looked at his phone

[GirlyGymRat]

^^^ comic relief! First chuckle I had all day long.

Stair devil. Blahahaha.

[itsmybody]

^^^ comic relief! First chuckle I had all day long. Stair devil. Blahahaha.

Happy to make ya smile. Yup, the big life...a series of muscle aches and mini meals separated by awkward moments.

[itsmybody]

Sides...been killin 2 gal water daily...water retention backed off... broke down n had a 20oz diet soda...now...welcome back beluga...no more diet soda crud

[itsmybody]

Sides.... Thing I notice the most is mood. When happy...elated, When focussed it's like tunnel vision x 100. When grouchy...evil and mean as heck.

Finally dropped some water from yesterday's mistake of a diet soda.

Hunger is up and down. All the water def helps with staving off the increased appetite on var.

Starting to get the joint pain and cramping now which is diff from last cycle...Currently in week 5 and full cycle ends on Tuesday. Last cycle the joint issues began at week four.

Still no mensus...this has been absent a full year now. Have read that while taking var it's common to lose mensus or it becomes irregular. When I completely shredded out last may/June and body fat hit an all time low I had not had var or any other gear. It was 100% diet and training only. I thought that as body fat came up it would start again however I don't think the body fat came up enough for that to happen. I did however raise body fat very very very slowly. Now I believe it would be up enough however I think the var keeps it at bay still. Who knows as I do not really know what body fat is currently and everything is too subjective except a Deca scan and that's to expensive. I do know I am no longer what they call 'zombied out' (FYI, that is a sucky state to be in. Don't recommend it unless you are competing.)

Strength is still up which makes me practice serious self control on upper body cause all I want to do is go as heavy as possible! Still drives me bonkers!!!!

Trying to figure out how to combat some of the sides after the last cycle. Def know all the extra water has helped during this cycle but still figuring out what to try this time. Last cycle I experienced major joint pain and cramping, bounced into a major water retention episode, think cortisol levels went through the roof, about 2 weeks after stopping var experienced minor breakout (3-4 pimples on my back and a couple small ones on the face..nothing too serious...just irritating), finally experienced a mood crash and got super tired. Things balanced out after that.

Considering taking a full week off after sides from this cycle subside...have been going hard 6 days per week at a minimum of 1.5 to 2 full hours with only 30 sec to 1.5 minute max breaks between sets. Think the body is starting to need a break but will see how that goes. Not sure I could handle a full week of no gym time as that's where I destress, clear the brain and solve problems.

Sorry bout the rambling....lots to say

Oh it was Leg Day...a good one...called sister prior to lifting...she pissed me off...great plan for a great session!

[itsmybody]

Hey Big Guy in the Sky,
Please bestow upon me the strength to make it through this Holiday weekend which is also my birthday as not to completely destroy all of the hard work from the last year...especially since this 5 wk cycle ends on Tuesday.

Also please be so kind to completely delete the desire for a double angus beef, triple bacon, cheese (provolone and Swiss) burger minus the bun, 4 tator tots, a six pack of fresh glazed Krispy Kreme donuts and a single spinach leaf for good measure. AMEN

[GirlyGymRat]

Happy birthday girl!!!!! You'll be fine.

Moderation. Moderation. Everything in moderation.

I had a skinny latte today. The word skinny made me feel sooooo much better. :P

[itsmybody]

Happy birthday girl!!!!! You'll be fine. Moderation. Moderation. Everything in moderation. I had a skinny latte today. The word skinny made me feel sooooo much better. :P

What about Skinny Vodka...in the protein shake! Bet it would be good. Hmmmm....or skinny coconut rum in chocolate protein shake...it would be like an almond joy with a punch! Sober for 3 years now...you should be the guinea pig

[GirlyGymRat]

What about Skinny Vodka...in the protein shake! Bet it would be good. Hmmmm....or skinny coconut rum in chocolate protein shake...it would be like an almond joy with a punch! Sober for 3 years now...you should be the guinea pig

Awesome for you!!!!

Flavored vodka is soooo dangerous. It tastes too good!!!! I steer clear of it anymore bc it goes down too smooth. The 2 worst hangovers I've had involved flavored vodka and lots of other designer drinks. I rarely drink. It's not a big draw for me...I don't have the time to waste on a hangover. I'll rather be working out then laying around with a headache!!!

Now chocolate. That's pure :evil: !!!

[Joco71]

Decided to do this cause not much out there for women. Currently on 5th 4wk var cycle.
This first post should bring most up to date.
2 years ago (yes everyone starts somewhere) I started with 2 rounds P90x, 1 round Insanity...
Fast Forward....
1 year ago I joined a real gym and am more determined than ever to see where I can take this.
Included are photos from Day 1 PRE ANYTHING
to DAY 1 GYM AND WEIGHTS to 1 FULL YEAR GYM TIME AND 4 CYCLES VAR
***on day one gym time I got serious about diet and cutting...wanted to see what I was starting with...well...let's say...lots of work needs to be put in!
Now...I will post my macros I have adhered to through all of this. Not many changes in them...until recently and well...I pigged out last month...think I needed it mentally as been through an entire slew of garbage since January so not looking forward to the next round of photos but even if I did slip on macros I have continued to put in the work AND know dropping body fat isn't my issue.
So here it goes...
6 day split
Shoulders twice, Legs twice, Chest Bis Tris once and Back once per week, Abs 6x per week
There has been ZERO cardio since last June 18 when I was completely shredded out for the first time in my life...naturally unless you count pre workout, BCAAs and protein powder. Even when doing cardio after joining the gym a year ago I kept it to 20 minutes post weights...and focus more on resistance training.
MACROS...yes I EAT A LOT HOWEVER I ALSO WORK LONG HOURS 6 DAYS/WEEK AND HAVE A PHYSICALLY DEMANDING JOB

(pro/carb/fat) in grams all excruciatingly clean food sources split into 6 meals/day

Began: pro-170g carb-190g fat-70g
After cutting for 6 weeks began adding more food gradually (NOT MUCH)
Pro-180 Carb-190 Fat-80
6 more weeks
Pro-190 Carb-190 Fat-90
6 more weeks
Pro 200 Carb-200 Fat-90
This is where I try to stay...but again...last month was awful. So what...dust the dirt off and focus!

Well that's it and hopefully this will help someone else see it's a continuous process and anything is possible if you bust your a** day in and day out. Now..time to go make delts. Have a great day and thank you for checking this log out.

Great work !! You look awesome no worries I would just enjoy your Bithday. Happy Birthday !!