I feel like ending it!!!!

**mdezel** · 11-07-2009, 10:56 PM

it has been almost a year i have been off prohormone and still no sex drive, i feel like my life is wasting right in my eye, i have girlfriend problems now cause it seems that she is pushing me away. I don't blame her thou cause i brought this condition to my self, if i had researched the possible side effects of pro hormones, i wouldn't be in this mess. I lost my Job and my school career over this, it seems like my condition is getting worst. I have contempleted suicide so many time, it seems to me like i will never get back to been normal.............................

**spywizard** · 11-07-2009, 11:00 PM

brother, this is nothing to joke about, I want you know that we here take this very seriously you are not the 1st one to go through this..

Have you seen a doctor yet?? got some blood work done??

talk to us..

**spywizard** · 11-07-2009, 11:04 PM

What prohormones did you run, and what pct did you follow??

Pro Hormones do the same if not more damage than steroids ..

**mdezel** · 11-07-2009, 11:13 PM

i took superdrol for abt 3yrs and a month off of every 4wk cycle, i have been to the doctor and i feel the r giving me the run around. My stupid doctor can't even put me on regime, all he is saying is that i should get on test replacement of which i don't want to. i want to jumpstarte my system naturally instead of jumping on trt without even trying. i never did pct on my cycles but recently when i noticed the change i took clomid and nolva and still no improvment. my test level is 95 currently and i feel like shit frankly.....

**Tjohn6231** · 11-07-2009, 11:14 PM

Ive had really rough spots in my life. SOme of them made me think that I would never get better, and I felt the same way as you.
Im guessing that Im older than you, so take it from someone thats been there. Its gonna get better. You might lose your girl, or job, or other things too, but it will only make you stronger.
You need to make a doctors appt, and let him know all of your problems. If you have low sex drive, then he might put you on HRT, and prescribe viagra if you need it.Within a month, your problems might go away just by one simple doctors appt.
Let us know how its going.

**mdezel** · 11-07-2009, 11:20 PM

I am trying to hold on but i find my self crying like a little girl, because people that r around me seems to not know the severity of my case. That's why i come to this forum cuz i feel people on this forum will understand me more.

**spywizard** · 11-07-2009, 11:20 PM

Pro's and people that do really long cycles of steroids have to take the time to do pct, just taking Clomid/nolva for 30 days isn't going to cut it..

Have you visited the pct forum?? AGGRESSIVE PCT needed for 2 year cycle 2 yr cycle user.. good info
Have you used HCG before??

Why be afraid of HRT ?? many guys look forward and even do things to show test scores so that they can get that script..

Just gathering more information, might be able to help some more..

**MuscleScience** · 11-07-2009, 11:23 PM

HCG or HRT sounds like the only option. Better to have a needle once a week or so than feeling shitty all the time. Hang in there bro, you will get it figured out.

**mdezel** · 11-07-2009, 11:27 PM

Originally Posted by spywizard

Pro's and people that do really long cycles of steroids have to take the time to do pct, just taking Clomid/nolva for 30 days isn't going to cut it..

Have you visited the pct forum??
Have you used HCG before??

Why be afraid of HRT ?? many guys look forward and even do things to show test scores so that they can get that script..

Just gathering more information, might be able to help some more..

i tried HCG for abt a week and it didn't work, but i have ordered some more that should be arriving in the mail soon. My lh level is high and my fsh level also but think i desensitized my leydig cell from long cycle of pro hormone cuz apprently the are not responding.But i'm still gonna give it a try again, i bought along to last me for 1 month.....

**amcon** · 11-07-2009, 11:31 PM

go to your doc and get blood work... get this fixed - and take some cilais so you can make you gf happy in bed... if she still is not happy it is not your fault

**MuscleScience** · 11-07-2009, 11:34 PM

Originally Posted by mdezel

i tried HCG for abt a week and it didn't work, but i have ordered some more that should be arriving in the mail soon. My lh level is high and my fsh level also but think i desensitized my leydig cell from long cycle of pro hormone cuz apprently the are not responding.But i'm still gonna give it a try again, i bought along to last me for 1 month.....

A week is not enough, a month may not be enough either for you. Try and remind yourself that all this didnt happen over night and you have to have a long term plan to combat this and stick with it.

**CBGB** · 11-08-2009, 12:11 AM

Brother, I can't help you with your problem. These guys can. You are in my thoughts. Listen to what Spy and Muscle say, they know their stuff.

Good luck friend.

**marcus300** · 11-08-2009, 12:19 AM

If its been over a year since you did the PH and you still havent recovered, I personally dont think a heavy PCT is going to cut it, your system should of had a good go at naturally recovering in that time.

You Test levels are very low and I think the only way forward here is HRT/TRT, you have to get your head round this before you can move forward, ive been there trust me, ive had the demons in my head due to low Test and its not nice at all, everyday was a struggle.

I think you should take the advice of your doctor and go on HRT/TRT,

How old are you?

**mdezel** · 11-08-2009, 12:30 AM

Originally Posted by marcus300

If its been over a year since you did the PH and you still havent recovered, I personally dont think a heavy PCT is going to cut it, your system should of had a good go at naturally recovering in that time.

You Test levels are very low and I think the only way forward here is HRT/TRT, you have to get your head round this before you can move forward, ive been there trust me, ive had the demons in my head due to low Test and its not nice at all, everyday was a struggle.

I think you should take the advice of your doctor and go on HRT/TRT,

How old are you?

i'm 28yrs old, 2weeks ago i had a good well being i would think cuz of androgen kicking in, then the following week i started feeling shitty again. I will try to jump starte my system, but i guess if if doesn't work out then i will go for HRT/TRT cuz i can't be feeling like this all year round.

**marcus300** · 11-08-2009, 12:37 AM

Originally Posted by mdezel

i'm 28yrs old, 2weeks ago i had a good well being i would think cuz of androgen kicking in, then the following week i started feeling shitty again. I will try to jump starte my system, but i guess if if doesn't work out then i will go for HRT/TRT cuz i can't be feeling like this all year round.

So 2 wks ago you was feeling ok? but things have gone down hill?

I wouldnt bother trying PCT IMHO, I would take the advice of the doctor and go on HRT now and solve the issue straight away, reason why I agree with the doc is because you have been off cycle for over a year! with such low Test levels you will notice an instant kick when you start therapy, I did.

**j4ever41** · 11-08-2009, 01:06 AM

Originally Posted by marcus300

If its been over a year since you did the PH and you still havent recovered, I personally dont think a heavy PCT is going to cut it, your system should of had a good go at naturally recovering in that time.

You Test levels are very low and I think the only way forward here is HRT/TRT, you have to get your head round this before you can move forward, ive been there trust me, ive had the demons in my head due to low Test and its not nice at all, everyday was a struggle.

I think you should take the advice of your doctor and go on HRT/TRT,

How old are you?

I 2nd what Marcus has said. You have been off for full year and not recovered,your test level very low. I would listen to the Doc and I think once you start trt you will be glad you did. Hang in there and take care yourself,better days are ahead of you.

**stevey_6t9** · 11-08-2009, 03:39 AM

TRT will do a huge improvement to your life. please consider it. best of luck

**Swifto** · 11-08-2009, 03:42 AM

Originally Posted by mdezel

i tried HCG for abt a week and it didn't work, but i have ordered some more that should be arriving in the mail soon. My lh level is high and my fsh level also but think i desensitized my leydig cell from long cycle of pro hormone cuz apprently the are not responding.But i'm still gonna give it a try again, i bought along to last me for 1 month.....

Then you need to use HCG or HMG to attempt to restart your testes.

By the sounds of it, you have testicular dysfunction which is the onest of primary hypogonadism. Follow the PCT I outlined for the 2 year cycle GForce, without the Test Enan at a low dose.

HCG 500ius for 21 days with Aromasin 10mg/ED.

On the 22nd Day, Toremifene and Tamox. I'd like you to stay away from Clomid becuase of its emotional side effects. Although rare, they can manifest themselves in small doses and I dont think you need that right now.

You have a PM regarding Tore.

Tore 120/100/100/60/60
Tamox 20/20/20/20/20

**lovbyts** · 11-08-2009, 05:06 AM

Originally Posted by mdezel

i tried HCG for abt a week and it didn't work, but i have ordered some more that should be arriving in the mail soon. My lh level is high and my fsh level also but think i desensitized my leydig cell from long cycle of pro hormone cuz apprently the are not responding.But i'm still gonna give it a try again, i bought along to last me for 1 month.....

You where on cycle for how long??? and you think after one week of HCG you give up?

You need to take these guys advise and also HRT is not a bad thing if you need it. Do you want to get your libido/sex life back or not?

PT · 11-08-2009, 05:08 AM

so you lost your job and "school career' as you put it in just 2 weeks of feeling shity?

**mdezel** · 11-08-2009, 01:17 PM

Originally Posted by Swifto

Then you need to use HCG or HMG to attempt to restart your testes.

By the sounds of it, you have testicular dysfunction which is the onest of primary hypogonadism. Follow the PCT I outlined for the 2 year cycle GForce, without the Test Enan at a low dose.

HCG 500ius for 21 days with Aromasin 10mg/ED.

On the 22nd Day, Toremifene and Tamox. I'd like you to stay away from Clomid becuase of its emotional side effects. Although rare, they can manifest themselves in small doses and I dont think you need that right now.

You have a PM regarding Tore.

Tore 120/100/100/60/60
Tamox 20/20/20/20/20

Thanks Swifto i will follow the prontocol you outlined, i still think i will recover if i follow a heavy pct and on top of it i will have to be on HRT to boost my self esteem. But Swifto do u think that some aas induced primary hypogonadism can be cured with a heavy pct? Do u know of anyone that had the same problem i have and followed a prontocol that helped them recovery their natually natt back?

**BJJ** · 11-08-2009, 02:50 PM

Sorry, I am not able to help you but I advise you to go and see an endocrinologist with this thread on paper. He/she might be helped out by reading it.
I wish you Good Luck

**BJJ** · 11-08-2009, 02:52 PM

Furthemore, if you already took some blood work and do not mind posting those results, they might be of help for other people.

**marcus300** · 11-08-2009, 03:05 PM

By the way you have expressed your feelings and how you havent recovered in over a year, I really recommend you should take your Doctors advice and mine and go on HRT now.

I dont think going through a PCT is going to help and could make you feel worse, with HRT your going to feel a instant hit of relief, if your that concerned about trying to recover your natural Test then you could try after you have been on HRT for a bit and your feeling better,

PT · 11-08-2009, 05:12 PM

i agree with marcus here, if its been that long you really need to get on asap

**Dont wanna be old** · 11-08-2009, 05:35 PM

A good endocrinologist can prescribe a few different things . It might be a good idea to explain the deficiency was caused by OTC pro-hormones .

Swifto has a good plan . Hopefully you have health insurance or a good source .
Aromasin is expensive and no generics . If possible get bigger mg and cut in 1/2 .

Good luck

**TITANIUM** · 11-08-2009, 06:27 PM

I think that Marcus has hit the nail on the head.

I feel shitty @ 225, so I can relate to your dilemma.

I'm going tomorrow to see the endocrinologist, in hope of TRT therapy.

I'm 44, so the idea of pinning once a wk is of no concern.

I try to help people the best I can here, and I can say that your open honesty with your feelings is a good thing.

It could always be worse bro.

At least there is a solution to this.

And it is pretty easy to solve, like Marcus said, just get it right in your mind as the means to a solution.

You'll get your body and mind up and back on track in no time.

TRT is a small price to pay to feel better.

Peace

Best

T

**92notch** · 11-08-2009, 09:41 PM

Cant help you. Good luck on the outcome, and think about things before you do something stupid.

**TITANIUM** · 11-08-2009, 09:52 PM

Originally Posted by 92notch

Cant help you. Good luck on the outcome, and think about things before you do something stupid.

Your choice of words is insensitive to this situation.

Best

T

**Swifto** · 11-09-2009, 03:53 AM

Seeing an Endo would be the best option. If you have done PCT's in the past to no avial, HRT is the only option. If your LH and FSH is low, it seems you may have, or have the onset of primary hypogonadism or testicular dysfunction. In that case, even HCG /HMG are ineffective here and HRT is the way to go.

**Swifto** · 11-09-2009, 03:54 AM

Seeing an Endo would be the best option. If you have done PCT's in the past to no avial, HRT is the only option. If your LH and FSH is ok, it seems you may have, or have the onset of primary hypogonadism or testicular dysfunction. In that case, even HCG /HMG are ineffective here and HRT is the way to go.

**mdezel** · 12-02-2009, 11:32 AM

Ok today 12/2/2009 i went to the doctors office to pick up my blood work i did on the 11/30/2009, just to find out that my testosterone level went up to 354(241-840) from 95 level. But on the 11/9/2009 my doctor pined 300mg of dbol one time only, cause i was having alot of mood swings and also got on high dose of hcg to kick start my system. Now am confused cuz i don't know if it's the dbol i took 21 days ago or if my system is bouncing back gradually by the hcg. If am not mistaking i thought that testosterone have a short half life about 2 weeks expecially if it's taking once a week.

i Will really appreciate some comment.

**mdezel** · 12-02-2009, 11:35 AM

oh yea i forgot to mention my hcg dosage, it's 5000iu every 4 days cause of my low test .

**Vitruvian-Man** · 12-02-2009, 11:39 AM

Originally Posted by mdezel

Ok today 12/2/2009 i went to the doctors office to pick up my blood work i did on the 11/30/2009, just to find out that my testosterone level went up to 354(241-840) from 95 level. But on the 11/9/2009 i took 300mg of dbol one time only, cause i was having alot of mood swings and also got on high dose of hcg to kick start my system. Now am confused cuz i don't know if it's the dbol i took 21 days ago or if my system is bouncing back gradually by the hcg. If am not mistaking i thought that testosterone have a short half life about 2 weeks expecially if it's taking once a week.

i Will really appreciate some comment.

you need to smarten up immediately.

**mdezel** · 12-02-2009, 11:49 AM

well i did not take it for a cycle my doctor pined it to me cuz of my low test. He wanted me to be on it for hrt but i refused cuz i want to get my own test.

**mdezel** · 12-02-2009, 11:52 AM

Originally Posted by Vitruvian-Man

you need to smarten up immediately.

Well but you stll did not answer my question, i did not take it for a cycle my doctor recomended me taking it. He pined 300mg one time cuz i didn't want to be on hrt.

PT · 12-02-2009, 11:55 AM

i think you have serious issues and you should be talking to a shrink not a bunch of bodybuilders.

**mdezel** · 12-02-2009, 12:01 PM

Originally Posted by PT

i think you have serious issues and you should be talking to a shrink not a bunch of bodybuilders.

i don't think yall r reading this correctly, ok i will starte a fresh. my doctor want me to be on hrt, but he first started me with dbol testosterone and after he pined the first week of hrt, then the following week i came back and said that i didn't want to be on hrt.He then started me with hcg . but my question i took this test 21days ago and been on hcg for about 2 weeks and my test level went up to 354. QUESTION DO U THINK MY TEST LEVEL WENT UP OR IS IT THE HCG? IHOPE PEOPLE WILL READ AND GRASP BEFORE MAKING COMMENTS

**BREW-MAN** · 12-02-2009, 12:11 PM

dbol for trt? am i missing something here?

**mdezel** · 12-02-2009, 12:15 PM

Originally Posted by BREW-MAN

dbol for trt? am i missing something here?

well thats is one of the reason i ask him not to pin me anymore cause i was thinking he should have used testosterone cyp. But as for now im not taking anything but hcg .