HoldMyBeer bruh

**HoldMyBeer** · 12-10-2018, 06:11 AM

Alright. This log is going to be boring as fuck. But I need it. I am at the end of my rope and grasping at straws. I've been yoyoing between 20-25% BF for 2 years now. Seriously about to give up on trying to become a bodybuilder. IDK, the gym and training is the only thing that keeps me sane these days. It's the only thing that, for that short period of time while at the gym, relieves the weight of the world from my shoulders (funny how adding actual weight, relieves metaphorical weight). But insanity is insanity. Doing the same thing.. results... blah blah blah. It's ridiculous. One last push will decide it. A little over a month, I am fucking trowing the kitchen sink at it. DNP , clen , tren , fucking everything. If I dont hit my goal (180lbs) by Jan 18th... idk... I am going to have to re-evaluate shit.
The main thing is, I am question if I have the discipline required. When the week goes well and my routine isnt fucked up, I am great and stick to my diet. The weekends I fucking go off. I outeat the DNP 10 fold.
Last Thursday I was 200.8. All this is just my dinner, I had normal pwo meals, post wo meals, lunch, and snacks on top of that.
Friday I went out to all-you-can-eat sushi late (1 Rice ball, 3 Crab Rangoons, 3 Dumplings, About 40 pieces of sushi, 2 maki rolls). So before hand I had a small dinner (8oz chicken and broccoli). Then got cupcakes and ate the whole pack and a protein bar.
Last night (Sunday), I ate a whole pizza, whole calzone, and 5 doughnuts.
This morning: 209.4 lbs. I will diet all week (again), and Thursday I will be about 200lbs flat.
NORMALLY, this would only happen one night a week. So I can maintain my BF pretty easily. Making progress is the difficult part for me. DNP is a bitch, your body craves carbs, so you eat a shit ton, but it just makes you hot and uncomfortable and you still crave carbs. So these cheat meals are not doing what a cheat meal is supposed to be doing. Which is why it's 3 nights a week as opposed to one. But it's also what has allowed me to burn off all that shit and still make a little progress. I just need to get my act together and I can make a lot of progress.

IDK what this log is going to be, I just know its necessary. If I do post what I eat, it will seem off, but thats not what I would normally eat, it changed because of the DNP (ie lots of fruits and fast acting carbs instead of complex, or very little carbs that are only fruit, etc). I do not post pics of myself online. My workouts are full-body A or B MWF. Steady-state cardio TuThSa. Abs Tu and Sa (used to be on all cardio days, but started to cause an imbalance). I dislike the routine (doing cardio and fullbody workouts), but fat-loss is the goal. I probably wont post those because they never change and I NEVER fail to get to the gym. I just need some accountability on the weekends I guess. I track my weight on my phone, but it may be good to post it here too. Fuuuuuck. Like I said, grasping at straws here

**charger69** · 12-10-2018, 08:02 AM

I do not know the whole situation, but it sounds like you are trying to use the chemicals to lose weight. I think your issue is your diet.
On a proper diet, you should never feel hungry.
I think you could also make some changes to your training, but the diet is the key.

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**Couchlockd** · 12-10-2018, 08:37 AM

Stop the dnp before you end up killing yourself.

It's doing no good for you.

It's wasted with no benifit. Thus is the cold hard truth. Your one of my friends here.

**Obs** · 12-10-2018, 10:32 AM

Aye....

No worries brother.
Phentermine and ephedrine.
Start using gear as a mechanism to prevent muscle wasting in times of caloric deficit.

You know how boards are though everyone is just going to say diet diet diet.

Go get some bronkaid and see about ordering phentermine. I appreciate the fact that I dont have bf issues but kinda understand that some dont have it so easy.

Bronkaid dosed fairly heavy with acidic urine will keep your apetite beat down all day. Focus on protein and clean carbs for your meal at the end of the day and you will start dropping.

If you need any help contact me.
I would have a chat about dosage with me before starting.

Remember many AAS were primarily used to help sick people prevent muscle wasting. Yes diet is an important factor. Chemicals make it easier though.
May not be safer but who am I to judge.

Tarzan is a prime example.
Guy looks like a natural born mack truck and everyone said he was too high bf to be cycling. Well, Tarzan said he would not have done it without juice and he did a great job so I will take his word for it. Bear in mind the guy eats deep fried food and barbeque.

Steroids makes everything better.
Stimulants are pretty kick ass too.

**Obs** · 12-10-2018, 10:37 AM

If you rid yourself of apetite whatsoever, add in juice to prevent muscle loss, and pretty much do what you feel....
You will lose weight.
Safety is #1 though, to some people, who like being safe, and average, and are gonna live forever.

**balance** · 12-10-2018, 11:38 AM

HMB

Glad to see you starting a log, I’ll be following for sure. Everyone is a little different and finding what works for you is your key. The fact you enjoy lifting/exercise is a huge indicator you are in this for the long term (don’t kid yourself with short term I’m going to reach this certain goal by blah blah blah). You honestly sound like you enjoy this why give it up, what else are you going to do take up knitting? Have you looked into knitting forums?

Seriously though if you are doing something (dnp ) that is counterproductive to your goal don’t do it. Example for me in the past when I try to drop weight I would try adding lots of cardio in. This for me did not work, as it made my cravings too strong and I overate. Whereas with limited/or no cardio I can truly control my diet (was doing IF for many months only eating in a 4 hour window). I will say I drank a lot of coffee then. Just as Obs mentioned E or ECA works really well for most and it suppresses hunger for most people too.

Sounds crazy but what about only posting pics/listing
the really poor food choices. Sounds crazy however I bet it would really make you think about having focus on consuming only things that are productive towards goal.

Either way I will be here following along. Looking forward to watching your progress.

b

**Couchlockd** · 12-10-2018, 12:12 PM

Originally Posted by balance

HMB

Glad to see you starting a log, I’ll be following for sure. Everyone is a little different and finding what works for you is your key. The fact you enjoy lifting/exercise is a huge indicator you are in this for the long term (don’t kid yourself with short term I’m going to reach this certain goal by blah blah blah). You honestly sound like you enjoy this why give it up, what else are you going to do take up knitting? Have you looked into knitting forums?

Seriously though if you are doing something (dnp ) that is counterproductive to your goal don’t do it. Example for me in the past when I try to drop weight I would try adding lots of cardio in. This for me did not work, as it made my cravings too strong and I overate. Whereas with limited/or no cardio I can truly control my diet (was doing IF for many months only eating in a 4 hour window). I will say I drank a lot of coffee then. Just as Obs mentioned E or ECA works really well for most and it suppresses hunger for most people too.

Sounds crazy but what about only posting pics/listing
the really poor food choices. Sounds crazy however I bet it would really make you think about having focus on consuming only things that are productive towards goal.

Either way I will be here following along. Looking forward to watching your progress.

b

Same with me, cardio and a deficit make me kill the fridge at night

Dnp i hear can cause 3xtreme cravings.

**HoldMyBeer** · 12-10-2018, 01:55 PM

I appreciate the worry everyone. But I'm being stubborn. I have 39 days to hit my goal if it fucking kills me. Its happening. I can yoyo on the BF all I want once I am in the range I want to be. This has been my goal for years now, the deadline isn't changing
I've tried t3, t4, clen , etc. History has proven I do not have the will power to be consistent enough in the diet. So let's test the fuck out of it. If I can't do it, maybe bodybuilding isn't for me.
Don't mistake me tone. I am not depressed and defeated. I am fucking pissed. This shits happening. 39 days of feeling shitty and I'm there. I just need to keep my weekends in check

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**HoldMyBeer** · 12-10-2018, 01:58 PM

I crushed this mornings workout.
I may switch to a upper/lower split, cuz cardio sucks. One less day of cardio is a win in my book

Monday upper
Tu lower
Wed cardio abs
Th upper
Fr lower
Sa cardio abs

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**kelkel** · 12-10-2018, 02:05 PM

Originally Posted by HoldMyBeer

I have 39 days to hit my goal if it fucking kills me.

I may have missed it but what happens in 39 days?

**charger69** · 12-10-2018, 02:05 PM

Originally Posted by HoldMyBeer

I appreciate the worry everyone. But I'm being stubborn. I have 39 days to hit my goal if it fucking kills me. Its happening. I can yoyo on the BF all I want once I am in the range I want to be. This has been my goal for years now, the deadline isn't changing
I've tried t3, t4, clen , etc. History has proven I do not have the will power to be consistent enough in the diet. So let's test the fuck out of it. If I can't do it, maybe bodybuilding isn't for me.
Don't mistake me tone. I am not depressed and defeated. I am fucking pissed. This shits happening. 39 days of feeling shitty and I'm there. I just need to keep my weekends in check

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If you REALLY want it, you will get it.
At 46, I was 240 lbs and probably 30% bf. I set a goal to compete the following year because I could not lose weight. In 9 months I got down to 165 all natural.
I did cardio 2x day and was on a strict diet.
NOTE: Diet is more than counting calories.
Now- that just shows that it can be done naturally.
I am not against using things to assist.
Once again, on a diet, you should not be hungry. Try eating 6 x day in small portions. You do need to resist temptation. Allow one cheat meal per week.
Note: because it was all natural, I did look a little anorexic. I did not have anything to preserve muscle.

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**HoldMyBeer** · 12-10-2018, 02:21 PM

Originally Posted by kelkel

I may have missed it but what happens in 39 days?

That was the goal date I set for myself way back when.
Occupation change on day 40 also, and I don't want to be juggling dnp and a bunch of other shit during it. I want to be at my goal and not distracted

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**Proximal** · 12-10-2018, 06:53 PM

Originally Posted by HoldMyBeer

I appreciate the worry everyone. But I'm being stubborn. I have 39 days to hit my goal if it fucking kills me. Its happening. I can yoyo on the BF all I want once I am in the range I want to be. This has been my goal for years now, the deadline isn't changing
I've tried t3, t4, clen , etc. History has proven I do not have the will power to be consistent enough in the diet. So let's test the fuck out of it. If I can't do it, maybe bodybuilding isn't for me.
Don't mistake me tone. I am not depressed and defeated. I am fucking pissed. This shits happening. 39 days of feeling shitty and I'm there. I just need to keep my weekends in check

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Fucking pissed is a mind-set that’s always worked for me. I am trying to get there right now & will be my turning point.

TY for the thread, very interested.

**EDCG19** · 12-10-2018, 06:57 PM

6-8 hour eating window is what you need.
Inteminent fasting works

**EDCG19** · 12-10-2018, 06:59 PM

Originally Posted by charger69

If you REALLY want it, you will get it.
At 46, I was 240 lbs and probably 30% bf. I set a goal to compete the following year because I could not lose weight. In 9 months I got down to 165 all natural.
I did cardio 2x day and was on a strict diet.
NOTE: Diet is more than counting calories.
Now- that just shows that it can be done naturally.
I am not against using things to assist.
Once again, on a diet, you should not be hungry. Try eating 6 x day in small portions. You do need to resist temptation. Allow one cheat meal per week.
Note: because it was all natural, I did look a little anorexic. I did not have anything to preserve muscle.

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Any loose skin or at this point it doesn't really matter

**charger69** · 12-10-2018, 07:06 PM

Originally Posted by EDCG19

Any loose skin or at this point it doesn't really matter

Yes, but I compete and I am able to get around it. It has been getting better but I usually do RF on the abs before competition.

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**HoldMyBeer** · 12-10-2018, 08:31 PM

I got here by not setting short term goals. So let's fix that
This morning I was 209
206 by Friday morning

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**SocioMachiavelli** · 12-11-2018, 03:58 AM

Hey brother,

I think the issue you are having with your discipline is partly because of the methods you are using. There have already been some good suggestions like intermittent fasting you could a 14 hour fast and ten hours for meals or a 16:8 ratio.

Intermittent fasting kills my appetite and prevents me from gorging on food.

There is a painful reality to your situation though, if you are going full tilt with the fat burners etc and not dropping the weight... You aren't working hard enough in the gym or the cardio. Your output has to outweigh your input

If you are going to eat like that, you have to earn it in your workouts and cardio... The evidence suggests you're not.

I heard something the otherday that really resonated with me.... Everybody in life have things that they want... But you don't get what you want, you get what you have to have.

If you don't do it with all the fat burners you are throwing at it.. You really didn't want it bad enough, it's not about saying it... It's about doing it.

So.. How bad do you want it?... Don't answer it now, answer it after the 39 days.

**SocioMachiavelli** · 12-11-2018, 03:59 AM

Originally Posted by HoldMyBeer

I got here by not setting short term goals. So let's fix that
This morning I was 209
206 by Friday morning

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Atta boy. Write that shit down

**HoldMyBeer** · 12-11-2018, 05:37 AM

So a lot of that 209 was water weight. I actually expect to be 200 by Friday. But I can't say that for sure, and don't want to set goal that I don't end up achieving because I was speculating on water weight.
That being said, 203.8 today, so let's reevaluate my goal for Friday (which is now 201.5)
Cardio/abs soon. Need to eat quick. Then start push/pull tomorrow

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**Stalker3060** · 12-11-2018, 06:54 AM

Good luck buddy I'll "hold your beer" while you kill it

**HoldMyBeer** · 12-12-2018, 06:26 AM

So 200.2 this morning. I lost the water weight faster than I expected. This is where I was last Thursday. So reevaluating Fridays goal again. 198.7
I was thinking, if I am going to lost weight so quickly. It may be beneficial to add a REASONABLE cheat-meal (not 2 large pizzas and a bunch of cookies and shit) every 5th day or so. That way I am not comepletely crashing and go off the rails. I can't tell if that's just the fat kid in me trying to trick me into letting him out. I'll have to think about it (feedback appreciated)
Currently, I am taking
200 trenE /week
300 testC /week. The goal here is to minimize muscle loss as much as possible.
Clen 2 days on 2 days off
Ephedrine on the clen off days
500mg dnp /day
Eventually, if I start to fall behind my goal, I will throw in t3 or 4. And up the dnp. Dnp can't stay too high for too long though as the hives become unbearable

I have 2 different diet plans that I rotate:
One (I forget the ratios) ends up being
325g protein, 125g carbs, 55g fat
The other
225g protein, 265g carbs, 45g fat
Both have a 250-500 cal deficit.
Usually you want to keep the fat as low as possible.
I eat 7 times a day. Pwo, breakfast post workout, late morning snack, noon snack, lunch, dinner 1, dinner 2.

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**Obs** · 12-12-2018, 03:59 PM

In every thing I have been successful at (not much)
I literally turn it into a punishment until productive behavior becomes the norm.

Between aggression and replacement behavior is where my progress comes.
When I feel strongly like cheating or giving up, I punish myself with extra burden. I dont think a cheat meal can be anything but counterproductive. That being said though, weight loss is never something I have attempted or needed to.

I suppose it will be individual specific

**Chrisp83TRT** · 12-12-2018, 07:33 PM

Fasted cardio bro and IF with some nice tren A added some displined diet and killer training and you'll be in six pack shape by the new year brother !

You got this

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**HoldMyBeer** · 12-13-2018, 05:55 AM

199.0 this morning
Sunday goal -> 197.0

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**HoldMyBeer** · 12-13-2018, 06:12 AM

Only 1 more day until Friday. Easy game. Let's get it!

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**Obs** · 12-13-2018, 06:24 AM

Heck yeah!
Good job man!

**Proximal** · 12-13-2018, 01:40 PM

Originally Posted by HoldMyBeer

199.0 this morning
Sunday goal -> 197.0

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Nice steady progress! Keep it going!

**HoldMyBeer** · 12-14-2018, 08:50 AM

199.2 this morning (+ 0.2)

Can't freak out though, give it a couple days and see what happens.

Can we all agree tho, cardiB needs to stop making music and fuck off?

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**kelkel** · 12-14-2018, 12:23 PM

Unfortunately I had to google cardiB.....

**HoldMyBeer** · 12-14-2018, 01:46 PM

Originally Posted by kelkel

Unfortunately I had to google cardiB.....

Sorry to do that to you! You were better off never finding out. She's all over the radio, especially at the gym, featured on a ton of songs that would otherwise be good. Can't stand her

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**Couchlockd** · 12-14-2018, 03:33 PM

Originally Posted by HoldMyBeer

Sorry to do that to you! You were better off never finding out. She's all over the radio, especially at the gym, featured on a ton of songs that would otherwise be good. Can't stand her

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Jesus Christ.

She's a female mumble rap hype man thing.

Please don't get confused, she's not making music, never has and never will.

She makes bird and machine gun sounds through auto tune over a cheaply produced fruity loops beat.

**Proximal** · 12-14-2018, 03:46 PM

I'd like the 90 seconds of my life back that I took to search & then listen to a bit of her "song".

This is the reason I am going deaf. I have to play my metal so loudly in order to drown out that crap in the gym.

**SocioMachiavelli** · 12-14-2018, 03:54 PM

How can you go to the gym without earphones?

**Obs** · 12-14-2018, 03:59 PM

Originally Posted by SocioMachiavelli

How can you go to the gym without earphones?

I forgot mine once.
Sat crying for 15 min before I got it together.

**HoldMyBeer** · 12-14-2018, 04:09 PM

Originally Posted by SocioMachiavelli

How can you go to the gym without earphones?

I never do. I keep wired ones in the car in case I forget them. But it's that few minutes walking in/out that gets yah

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**HoldMyBeer** · 12-15-2018, 06:21 AM

199.6 this morning. + 0.6 since Thursday... Still trying to not be frustrated. It will be quite disheartening when I do not hit my goal I set for Sunday. I have not strayed from the diet, and I have been in a calorie deficit.
Have to wait until Thursday then I can increase the DNP and add T3.
Time to go crush legs. Have a good morning everyone!

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**Proximal** · 12-15-2018, 12:33 PM

Originally Posted by HoldMyBeer

199.6 this morning. + 0.6 since Thursday... Still trying to not be frustrated. It will be quite disheartening when I do not hit my goal I set for Sunday. I have not strayed from the diet, and I have been in a calorie deficit.
Have to wait until Thursday then I can increase the DNP and add T3.
Time to go crush legs. Have a good morning everyone!

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I’m the same way many times with the scale. Then get frustrated if the weight loss doesn’t happen in a perfectly linear fashion. I have to remind myself to keep focused on doing the right things, because if I do, it WILL happen. Hope you have a killer workout!

**HoldMyBeer** · 12-16-2018, 06:28 AM

Alright. 199.6 again. Didn't hit my Sunday goal. Pissed.
So I think I'm only actually at 2600-2700 tdee, and I'm eating 2400-2500 calories. So there's a smaller deficit than I expected. I didn't take into account how I have been more sedentary throughout the day....
Once again, starting Thursday, fucking putting that body fat in it's place. Throwing in more chemicals, adding some LISS in between dinner 1 and 2.

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