What is the stupidest shit you've seen at the gym lately?

[mizuno]

the leaners..... the guys doing bench that have one arm pushing above the other while the same side of there back is arched.

[crazydick]

I am a mixed martial arts instructor and I get some ****in goofballs in my gym wanting to learn how to fight like we do in the UFC. The most interesting are the old traditional guys that have not trained in ten years, have never been in a real fight, and got a black belt it some bullshit somewhere. So in walks this old fat fart and he wants to train with the comp team because he got his black belt 10 yrs ago. I explain that we train full contact and he should start out in our intro classes until he gets in shape etc. He's a real cocky prick and says that we can't handle his skills or something like that. Anyway I make him try an intro class with beginners, and he sucks and is trying way too hard. I'm teaching some light sparring "hit to thud" you know pulling punches. Well this jerk is throwing bombs in between gasping for air. I tell him to calm down but he doesn't listen and he gets partnered with a beginer girl and trys to take her head off. Enough is enough, so we bring him over to the comp team and partner him with one of my female coaches. She is 5'7" and about 145 lbs. He's 6'2" and probably 250 of fatslob. He keeps trying to take her head off, she warns him and he doesn't listen. So she lays him out with a straight right directly on his chin. I wish I had a video tape of this slob getting laid out in his pretty black gi, complete with huge dragon on the back of his coat, by a slender girl in a sports bra and soccer shorts.

[mizuno]

ROTFL ive been in some mixed martials classes and got my ass handed to me. not for me. i have a black belt in traditional form but it wasnt for self defense it was for concentration and fitness. i knew that going in LOL but i understand what ur talking about with the entensity differences cause ive tried it.

[lfrisbee]

I am a mixed martial arts instructor and I get some ****in goofballs in my gym wanting to learn how to fight like we do in the UFC. The most interesting are the old traditional guys that have not trained in ten years, have never been in a real fight, and got a black belt it some bullshit somewhere. So in walks this old fat fart and he wants to train with the comp team because he got his black belt 10 yrs ago. I explain that we train full contact and he should start out in our intro classes until he gets in shape etc. He's a real cocky prick and says that we can't handle his skills or something like that. Anyway I make him try an intro class with beginners, and he sucks and is trying way too hard. I'm teaching some light sparring "hit to thud" you know pulling punches. Well this jerk is throwing bombs in between gasping for air. I tell him to calm down but he doesn't listen and he gets partnered with a beginer girl and trys to take her head off. Enough is enough, so we bring him over to the comp team and partner him with one of my female coaches. She is 5'7" and about 145 lbs. He's 6'2" and probably 250 of fatslob. He keeps trying to take her head off, she warns him and he doesn't listen. So she lays him out with a straight right directly on his chin. I wish I had a video tape of this slob getting laid out in his pretty black gi, complete with huge dragon on the back of his coat, by a slender girl in a sports bra and soccer shorts.

Thats awesome man... whats this girls number? I'm sick of fighting over a girl at the bar - i want one that can handle her own shit

[Keyser Sozey]

haha yeah I just think of Anti-lock Brake System when I hear ABS. No matter what you call it, it's still funny as hell.

LOL, it is. I guess we can go with both. A.B.S. or I.L.S.

[Muscle_Maniac]

well one was a guy who was doing barbell shrugs and he COMPLETELY turned it into a leg and calf exercise...so im just about sure u could imagine how funny it looked.

the other thing...this takes the cake too....my friend asked this dude in the gym to spot him one time on bench. he was benching 225. well, it was the end of his workout and he was really tired, so when he went down with it, he couldnt get it up. so he was like "help me, help me". so, the idiot dude who was spotting him, runs to the side pulls one of the 45 lb. plates off one end, then takes off to the other side to get the one of the other end...but of course the second the first 45 lb. plate came off, the whole friggin thing became unbalanced and collapsed on my boys chest and all the weight come tumbling down on the floor. it was a disaster! all the guy had to do was help him lift the barbell up, but instead is going to try to pull the weight off the barbell...can people really be this dumb? lol.

[crazydick]

Ifrizbee, If I give you her number she will kick my as, she would rather eat carpet than sausage! Now she's really going to kick my ass! She is actually kinda cute if you like musculer chicks, she has no fat.

[Rob]

I am a mixed martial arts instructor and I get some ****in goofballs in my gym wanting to learn how to fight like we do in the UFC. The most interesting are the old traditional guys that have not trained in ten years, have never been in a real fight, and got a black belt it some bullshit somewhere. So in walks this old fat fart and he wants to train with the comp team because he got his black belt 10 yrs ago. I explain that we train full contact and he should start out in our intro classes until he gets in shape etc. He's a real cocky prick and says that we can't handle his skills or something like that. Anyway I make him try an intro class with beginners, and he sucks and is trying way too hard. I'm teaching some light sparring "hit to thud" you know pulling punches. Well this jerk is throwing bombs in between gasping for air. I tell him to calm down but he doesn't listen and he gets partnered with a beginer girl and trys to take her head off. Enough is enough, so we bring him over to the comp team and partner him with one of my female coaches. She is 5'7" and about 145 lbs. He's 6'2" and probably 250 of fatslob. He keeps trying to take her head off, she warns him and he doesn't listen. So she lays him out with a straight right directly on his chin. I wish I had a video tape of this slob getting laid out in his pretty black gi, complete with huge dragon on the back of his coat, by a slender girl in a sports bra and soccer shorts.

lol, thats a good one

[lfrisbee]

Ifrizbee, If I give you her number she will kick my as, she would rather eat carpet than sausage! Now she's really going to kick my ass! She is actually kinda cute if you like musculer chicks, she has no fat.

I LOVE the muscular chicks... i'll post a couple pics of one of my exs... gotta dig em up sucks about the carpet though lol

[lfrisbee]

[lfrisbee]

holy shit those are huge... my bad HAHA! if anyone wants to bitch i GUESS i can photoshop them and make them smaller... otherwise... whatever.

[crazydick]

The pictures are great, got any nude. Well you would like my coach, she's the build of your x and she would throw you in her guard, **** your brains out, then break your arm!

[lfrisbee]

i might... i used to i know that much. those aren't something that any man would throw away! so i'm sure they're somewhere. i can't post them right now though - at work.. I'll put them up later.

Yeah, I can handle a good arm snapping every once in a while... bring her on!

[Rhyalus]

There are a few things that bug me at the gym;

1) There is this chubby guy who I always see there, and this has to be regularly for about five months now. He sweats his a$$ off, but I can't really tell what he is doing - he walks around with a coffee cup in one hand and a 45lb plate in the other at his side. Then he switches hands and walks around the gym in the other direction. The other things he does is play with a medicine ball, passing it through his legs for 10 minutes, and then walk at an absurdly slow pace on an eliptical, watching his DVD player. I guess I wouldn't mind the odd behavior except he looks EXACTLY the same as he did when I first saw him. Since he is only in his late 30's, early 40's, there is no excuse for that.

2) There is an old guy that works for the gym as a trainer. He has all of these stupid tools, like bars, balls, etc., and he tortures people like they are out for the olympics. For god sakes, put them on the treadmill and teach them how to use the weight machines, and stop them from eating Snickers bars!

3) People who jump rope IN the gym. WTF?? Do that outside...

4) People who don't wipe their sweat off of the benches or machines.



In general though, I have to say that most people are reasonable. I am pretty lucky it seems, compared to the other stories.

Regards,
R

[WelshWarrior]

1. People who think dropping plates and dumbells to cause a loud noise makes them big and strong.

2. Muppets who wear weight belts 24/7.

[Smak]

I LOVE the muscular chicks... i'll post a couple pics of one of my exs... gotta dig em up sucks about the carpet though lol

She's very cute. Does she juice?

[Smak]

Also flip me dem digits man. Thanks

[gr8gear]

so im in the gym doin seated curls when these three stoners walk in. they scatter like rats in light and run around doing 1 set of every machine in the place and finally end up on the bench next to me....the three of them are sharing the bench mind you....one at each end and one in the middle. These kids are high as a kite and sweating like a whor in church....and one of them is curling 15 lb DB while the other two watch. All of a sudden..Cheech says to Chong.."Your looking good bro....buff" I dropped my weights and walked into the locker room to change my shorts. Funniest shit ever

[Testo^]

well one was a guy who was doing barbell shrugs and he COMPLETELY turned it into a leg and calf exercise...so im just about sure u could imagine how funny it looked.

the other thing...this takes the cake too....my friend asked this dude in the gym to spot him one time on bench. he was benching 225. well, it was the end of his workout and he was really tired, so when he went down with it, he couldnt get it up. so he was like "help me, help me". so, the idiot dude who was spotting him, runs to the side pulls one of the 45 lb. plates off one end, then takes off to the other side to get the one of the other end...but of course the second the first 45 lb. plate came off, the whole friggin thing became unbalanced and collapsed on my boys chest and all the weight come tumbling down on the floor. it was a disaster! all the guy had to do was help him lift the barbell up, but instead is going to try to pull the weight off the barbell...can people really be this dumb? lol.

LOOOOOOOOL, That just gotta be the funnnyest thing that i have heard !

[mkv213]

Holy shit today I almost flipped my lid. I was on the bike warming up for legs and I look over and there's this bitch on the eliptical with a cell phone to her ear. She was talking for like 10 mins. WTF could be so important that can't wait 30 min until she gets out of the gym? I don't know about you guys but when I'm doing cardio, I'm so out of breath I can't talk. I looked at her and shook my head. She gives me this dirty look like I'm the idiot. I wanted to walk over and grab her phone and smash it!

[Seattle Junk]

Dudes that walk around naked in the locker room for extended periods of time after a shower or whatever they do.

[Lucifer1]

there was a kid who had to be about 17 in the gym walking around like he was a tough guy. Then had the nerve to stare at me when I was doing my workout. (I know his dad who is a Ultimate Fighter), i think a little rubbed off on him. He then proceeded to the shoulder press machine to join 2 friends of his. He throws on 45's on each side, goes to do the set and damn near crushed his chest in on the first rep. Haha just walked past and laughed. He also has a case of ABS.

[montygrl]

the old women that walk around naked in the locker room for extended periods of time...

[Keyser Sozey]

the old women that walk around naked in the locker room for extended periods of time...

Old women walking around naked?
Dude, where do you workout?

[Keyser Sozey]

Guess it's better than naked old men.....

[Seattle Junk]

Old women walking around naked?
Dude, where do you workout?

Don't think it's a dude - montygrl

[Keyser Sozey]

Don't think it's a dude - montygrl

Exactly what I was thinking, Seattle. I was going to say she accidentally registered as a male. It happened to some girl a few weeks back.

[lfrisbee]

She's very cute. Does she juice?

no she doesn't... shes genetically gifted... you should see her sister... my gawd. best body i've ever seen on a woman. they're both gymnasts/track athletes/cross country runners... and animals in the sack. don't ask how i know.

[juicy_brucy]

Should we officially name it I.L.S. ( Imaginary Lat Syndrome), or A.B.S (Artificial Back Syndrome)?
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
This is AR, and being the biggest gad dang board, we should be able to give these people a new syndrome name!
So, what do you guys think?

I have been calling it I.L.S. for about 7 years now. I think Greg Zulak came up with the definition.

[juicy_brucy]

There is nothing wrong with the skinny kids! I used to be 175lbs and at 6'6" I was the skinniest mofo around! After several hard years at the gym with little to no guidance (before I found this site) and in the last few years a cycle or two, i now weigh in at a comfortable 295lbs. I am always the first to offer help and friendship to the little skinny guys as i know just how hard it was to get to where I am without help and with others making fun of my body and little weights I used to push!

Not skinny kids in general,
I.L.S. skinny kids. (There is no comma there.)
I was refering to the kids that weigh in at 146 and walk with their arms all poped out as if they had lats holding them up. Not skinny people, I used to be one! Damn, 160 at 6'3. Now I am an easy 225 and still climbing.

[beuleux]

Ive heard the gym instructor refer to the uper portion of the chest as "pectoralis minor" dumb ass.

[beuleux]

I have been calling it I.L.S. for about 7 years now. I think Greg Zulak came up with the definition.

ok I.L.S. it is, that is so apt and fvckin hilarious.

[topgun1983]

AARRRGGG! That annoys me so fvckin much. Guys come in and sit there on a piece of equipment and talk the whole fvcking time. I asked this guy the other day ..."are you just going to talk or you going to use that machine"? He's like oh sorry man, here you go. Ever notice it's always the older guys who like to stand around a talk? Waiting 10min between sets.

I'm in, do my shit and I'm out. I don't have shit to say to anybody. I wear headphones usually so I don't have to hear their stupid shit.

Another thing that I hate is seeing a guy go from bench, to curls, to military presses, to rows. I'm like dude, you going to train your whole fvckin body in one day? Only time I do that is if I'm just off from taking a few week break and I want to get past the soreness. But I only do one set of each. These guys do this everyday.

this is the most stupid shit ive heard.
Whats wrong with ppl doing several compunds on one day. In case you didnt know, compounds are all body movements thus you can do more than one body part a session!!!
We dont all want to be pretty and do isolation movements like you 'big guy'.
Rookie

[znak]

I can put up with about anything, I have my ipod and don't really pay attentions to anything until the man who never washes his gym clothes walks by.

I mean this is f*cking Russia and there is a guy in our gym that hasn't washed his f*cking gear since Lenin was around.

I seriously gag!

[BigLittleTim]

Holy shit today I almost flipped my lid. I was on the bike warming up for legs and I look over and there's this bitch on the eliptical with a cell phone to her ear. She was talking for like 10 mins. WTF could be so important that can't wait 30 min until she gets out of the gym? I don't know about you guys but when I'm doing cardio, I'm so out of breath I can't talk. I looked at her and shook my head. She gives me this dirty look like I'm the idiot. I wanted to walk over and grab her phone and smash it!

Yeah. If you can read "The Atlantic Monthly" while you're doing cardio, you're not doing it hard enough.

[oldandgrim]

this is the most stupid shit ive heard.
Whats wrong with ppl doing several compunds on one day. In case you didnt know, compounds are all body movements thus you can do more than one body part a session!!!
We dont all want to be pretty and do isolation movements like you 'big guy'.
Rookie

I agree, I am one of those big guys but i do do a full upper body bump on a friday night when i am going out clubing and pubing

[longhorn814]

Dudes that walk around naked in the locker room for extended periods of time after a shower or whatever they do.

agreed, there was this fat, older guy yesterday standing at the mirror butt ass naked shaving his face. At least put a towel on!

[CapnZ]

This isn't recent but the funniest thing I saw - About 2 - 3 times a week this guy would come into the gym from his running group ( he ran pretty regular) and grab a couple DB's WAAAY too heavy for him -now this dude was 5'9" or so and weighed 135 - 140 soaking wet. So he'd pick up these 40 lbers and proceed to do alternating curls with the absolute worst form I have ever seen - twisting and bending and struggling and making some god awful noises. I had to be careful not to be starting a set when he showed up cause it cracked me up so bad I would start laughing and blow the set!
The sad thing is a couple people tryed to help him out but he kept right at it.

[WelshWarrior]

Dunno if this is just my gym, but loads of kids who train there (teenagers) seem to constantly scratch and grab at their balls for some reason. I doubt it's crabs - I reckon they are trying to emphasise their masculinity or something.

Usually, these are the same people who train in groups of at least 3, normally 4 or 5. Hogging equipment and providing first class examples of shite form.

[Testo^]

Yea, it was like that at my old gym..
Man you dont want to grab the dumb bells after them..

Good for me that i use alot more heavigher dumb bells than them :P