What is the stupidest shit you've seen at the gym lately?

**magic32** · 09-30-2005, 11:52 AM

Originally Posted by Justin Sane

phhhhhhewwwww... I knew I was bound to run into somebody from China!!! Glad you understand brotha.... if it makes you feel any better, I'm half east Indian, we have noodle legs, and our farts smell like curry and moth balls.

LOL!
I'm glad you're located in the "Mind of Justin" and not my gym.
But there is one guy, who gym regulars just know not to cross paths with. If you have the unfortunate experience of getting caught in his jetstream, you won’t ever let it happen again.

We treat him like Typhoid Mary, and I can’t possibly fathom the combination of products used to create such a poignantly odoriferous olfactory assault. I’ve seen women faint, gym plants close up and people literally drop weights when he walks by.

I’m telling you he has to be putting away 5gms of protein per lb of bodyweight, with absolutely no fiber or roughage whatsoever. It couldn’t be mistaken for body odor (not even from the Sienfield episode) because it’s so pungent newbies usually think he sharted. You might not believe this but I was on the lower back extension, and he was about 20 feet away on the apparatus that resembles the donkey kick exercise with weights, when a large fly landed on his back then proceeded to fall off, tumble to the floor, and slowly die right before my eyes.

M.

**Drummerboy** · 09-30-2005, 12:21 PM

Some dude who hangs out by the water fountain and ladies washroom exit. What a LOSER!!!

**Power Viking** · 09-30-2005, 07:42 PM

Originally Posted by Vegas67

I was walking into the shower and there was an old guy in there already...maybe 75 or 80. I noticed that he had no towel on the hooks as I hung mine up.. but didnt really think anything of it until I finished and looked for MY towel. The old fart had mine and was just finishing wiping his bony crotch...totally oblivious that he forgot his.

That`s the fucking funniest thing I`ve heard all week!! You can`t really go all mental on his ass either, he`s so old he`s probably demented and doesn`t know any better.

I have another story here....
I was doing some bicep curls, can`t remember what size dumbells I used as this was a pretty long time ago, I was probably 18 or 19.
Well, this guy that I`ve talked with a couple of times approaces me and starts talking about some workout stuff. He asked me how much weight I was curling and I answered him.
He then asked me "so, how much do you do for a 1 RM".
Yup, there`s a lot of bicep curl 1 rep maxing going on out there

Actually the way some guys do their curls sure make it seem like a 1RM, but that`s mostly accidental

**ToTheBuckeT21** · 09-30-2005, 07:46 PM

i took a good long look in the mirror today at the gym

**04hayabusa** · 09-30-2005, 08:32 PM

1.Standing 2" in front of dumbell rack while working out
2.Not bringing a towel and sweating all over everything
3.Naked fags just hanging out in the locker room for no reason
4.tying up 2 benches and 2 machines simultaniously for 1 set
5.All the LOUD " look at me" people who think the whole gym gives a shit what they did that weekend and how much $ they spent on everything they own.

**MoneyAddyct** · 09-30-2005, 10:02 PM

This one dude..I call him Mr. Superset. He comes in the gym every other day or so, does the same 5-6 exercises, but supersets his whole f-en workout. So god forbid you need to use the smith machine or the pulley machines that day because you're fukd. I guess in a way it's good because I've started to do more DB exercises instead of using the smith machine when he's there. But in any event, the guy's a bag of douche.

**TCEL300** · 09-30-2005, 10:26 PM

i was at the gym this morning...and this dude walks in...huge hoop earings, all dressed up for the gym...so he comes out to the weight area and me and a few buddies are talking...dude has on the best shorts ever..spandex shorts that barely cover upper thighs...so the dude starts busting out squats screaming going ab out 3 inches down with his feet spead sooo far apart..it was by far the highlight of my week watchn this clown

**whollyhuge** · 09-30-2005, 11:24 PM

funniest shite i've ever seen at the gym was about a year ago...i was going through my leg routine...when all of the sudden i hear this commotion over by the tri push downs...there's an old dude and his wife (prob around 70) and some kids around 17...one of the kids has his pants halfway down his ass with his boxers showing and the old dude gets pissed off...he's all like "you're disrespecting my wife punk...PULL UP YOUR PANTS!"...the teen doesn't pull them up...so the old dude takes the pin out of the weights!!!!! The dude is like..."you won't get it back until you pull your pants up" so then the teen is like "f-you man...f-you...you're a f-ing dumbass blah blah blah" so the old guy is like "you can't curse in front of my wife...ill kick your ass you little punk!"...long story short...the teen ends up clocking the dude...the old dude hits his head on the seat of the lat pull down...and the old dude, his wife, and the teens all get kicked out!!! I felt bad for laughing...but i couldn't help it....

**manc** · 10-01-2005, 12:01 PM

we have a shemale in our gym now,he's 6ft 3'',190lbs,long black hair,skin tight cycle shorts with no visible bulge(yes i had to look),5'o'clock shadow,and a great set of silicone tits any woman would be jelous of..trans with his boyfriend.........i kid you not

**Seattle Junk** · 10-01-2005, 12:08 PM

Originally Posted by whollyhuge

funniest shite i've ever seen at the gym was about a year ago...i was going through my leg routine...when all of the sudden i hear this commotion over by the tri push downs...there's an old dude and his wife (prob around 70) and some kids around 17...one of the kids has his pants halfway down his ass with his boxers showing and the old dude gets pissed off...he's all like "you're disrespecting my wife punk...PULL UP YOUR PANTS!"...the teen doesn't pull them up...so the old dude takes the pin out of the weights!!!!! The dude is like..."you won't get it back until you pull your pants up" so then the teen is like "f-you man...f-you...you're a f-ing dumbass blah blah blah" so the old guy is like "you can't curse in front of my wife...ill kick your ass you little punk!"...long story short...the teen ends up clocking the dude...the old dude hits his head on the seat of the lat pull down...and the old dude, his wife, and the teens all get kicked out!!! I felt bad for laughing...but i couldn't help it....

OMG....Old school justice didn't work out for the old guy....He better get on here and hit some GH and AAS....

**Seattle Junk** · 10-01-2005, 12:09 PM

The damn "trainers" at my Pure Fitness gym that go from bloated, bigger to skinny then back again. It's either a financial thing or they don't know about PCT?

**xxterxx** · 10-01-2005, 01:36 PM

i saw this one guy..prolly 140-160 pounds... doing DB press with 50 pounds each side... trying to balance himself hard on the bench... then fall off with dumbell still on his hand... funny shit... imagine u fell down when doing DB press..man i would kick my own ass in embarassment..

**stupidhippo** · 10-01-2005, 02:05 PM

Hehe.. this has to be me.. I was doing squats one day and there was like about 500 lbs on the rack and I finished my sets. Then I started unloading and for some reason I took many plates away from one side first (was hella exhausted after the sets) and the bar got unbalanced and all the weight on the otherside fell.This itself is already really embarassing but what made it worse was that there was some guy under there (he was picking up plates for himself) and the plates fell on him.... He got a lil psyched and looked me kinda funnily after that = )

**whollyhuge** · 10-01-2005, 07:54 PM

Originally Posted by Seattle Junk

OMG....Old school justice didn't work out for the old guy....He better get on here and hit some GH and AAS....

haha i know...you wouldn't have believed the dude...fat and old...wife was nasty as hell wearing a really tight sweat suit...and he got clocked...hard...he was down for about 10 mins haha....i don't even know if AAS could have helped him...

**Hackamaniac** · 10-01-2005, 08:03 PM

I don't know if you were you all live but i live in a small town only two gyms and I've seen about everything you'll have mentioned it's just people wasting there time and yours but they feel like their really accomplishing something and its phucking hilarious.

**DeadtoRights** · 10-02-2005, 11:17 AM

hmm last time i was in the gym i watched to three teenagers the bar intotal was 225 and the kids looked like they could barely push 155 . The two spoters during each rep defintly where doing shrugs from the first rep till eight there traps where buggin out. very dangerous and i told my friend Chris. Who owns the local gold's and he observed them for a full set each then confronted them about how incredibly unsafe it was. So thats the stupid thing i can think off

**LAW** · 10-02-2005, 11:22 AM

Women decked out with makeup on sitting on the machines chatting on the phone. This morning I just wanted to push er to the side. What kind of workout is that! geez

**DeadtoRights** · 10-02-2005, 11:25 AM

Originally Posted by LAW

Women decked out with makeup on sitting on the machines chatting on the phone. This morning I just wanted to push er to the side. What kind of workout is that! geez

Geez Law i would of just laughed as i do at the guys that sit there drolling at them while in the gym. There to work out not to be a social club.

**ShnouzedUp** · 10-03-2005, 09:56 PM

Originally Posted by Jray1der

this young guy is going from one work station to the next with these 2 demonly looking chicks and they are video taping his workouts. The guy is like 5'5" 160, you know, typical small dog complex type guy. Anyway, He was just extremely over exagerating every f**king lift and to add to the dramatics, he would jump around like as if he was psyching himself up and the 2 mud geese are sitting there recording him and edging him on. So now, he gets even more psyched and he starts frick'n growl'n, not grunting, I mean bull mastif type s**t. So I kinda cant see what he is actually lifting because my view is slightly obstructed. So I gingerly slide my way to the water fountain to see whats up. OMG, this f**ker is going off on 185 on flat bench. Every rep he did, he began grunting and growling.
I currently go to another gym now.

HAHAHAHAHAHA OOOH MY GOD! i have seriously got to get some free passes to a local gym.

**qw1ck2** · 10-04-2005, 12:46 AM

First time to see this guy at the gym had to be 5'10" weighing 140. his first set of db bench on a ball he was using 105lb db's. funny ass shit when he fell off the ball.

**Tedbear981** · 10-04-2005, 01:29 AM

Kinda funny, my gym has been giving out free trial workouts for the past month like most do to drum up buisness. I hit the gym around 8pm for an extra workout and there is this guy in falling apart jeans, a filthy padded lumberjack flannel and an old jets helmet without the faceguard... He was just walking around and then he asked me a question about the smith machine, I was nice and told him what he wanted to know but he kept f*cking bothering me!! I finally refused to take off my earbuds when he came up. I asked the girl at the desk who he was and she told me he was a Bum who sleeps out back by the dumpsters but had gotten the free pass from a newspaper and had been there since 5am when they open!

**needle** · 10-04-2005, 01:40 AM

buck 60s walking around like there 2 plus!

**bigJJ** · 10-04-2005, 03:41 AM

Originally Posted by Tedbear981

Kinda funny, my gym has been giving out free trial workouts for the past month like most do to drum up buisness. I hit the gym around 8pm for an extra workout and there is this guy in falling apart jeans, a filthy padded lumberjack flannel and an old jets helmet without the faceguard... He was just walking around and then he asked me a question about the smith machine, I was nice and told him what he wanted to know but he kept f*cking bothering me!! I finally refused to take off my earbuds when he came up. I asked the girl at the desk who he was and she told me he was a Bum who sleeps out back by the dumpsters but had gotten the free pass from a newspaper and had been there since 5am when they open!

A helmet?? Classic!!

**BigLittleTim** · 10-04-2005, 07:58 AM

One of the gyms at which I sometimes work-out seems to have a bit of an homeless guy problem, too. The rates are dirt cheap, and they have free specials all the time.

One feels sorry for these guys, as many of them are obviously mentally deranged, but it's still gross to be undressing or showering right next to stinky street people with Tourette's Syndrome.

**24labor** · 10-04-2005, 09:48 AM

Seen this pretty big dude the other day, comes in often. I always see him do chest, back, shoulders and arms. Well he was strutting his sh!t around the gym, but it looked like someone was pushing him as he walked, looked at his legs they were like pool cues compared to the rest of his body dam guy was top heavy. See this crap all the time

**akwall47** · 10-04-2005, 12:56 PM

i saw this fool drop 265 lbs straight on his chest while tryin to decline press. it was hilarious, and then he tried to seem like he didnt just completly destroy his sternum.

**Big Rig** · 10-04-2005, 02:45 PM

Mine has to be the skinny dude doing karate moves in the mirror.

**qw1ck2** · 10-04-2005, 04:08 PM

Originally Posted by Big Rig

Mine has to be the skinny dude doing karate moves in the mirror.

haha ya, i got a guy like that too

**ouchthathurts** · 10-04-2005, 04:21 PM

.......

**TADOLFI** · 10-04-2005, 04:48 PM

Sorry, I just had to dig this out of the archives and share.
(It is not really a true story)

Originally Posted by Sir Victorian Guy V.C.

Harassed by gym management!! Marvin fired!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Brothers,

The following is a true story.

I have been HARASSED by the management at my gym...a conspiracy is afoot, the goal of which is to drive out all hard-core, train-till-we-vomit barbarians, the likes of myself and Nobby. I have had it, and have contacted my lawyers and am planning a massive lawsuit. Here are the facts of the case:

It all started innocently enough. One evening, during training, Nobby and I went to the water cooler to fill our 2 gallon plastic jugs with water- our old 2 liter bottles were too small. As we were filling our jugs, a woman of about 20, wearing a 'Stop American Imperialism' t-shirt and sporting cropped, orange hair and various facial piercings, stood waiting- impatiently. Finally, she said, in a most displeasing tone, "Look...I only have this little water bottle to fill...would you FUCKING MIND letting me fill this then you two can finish?!'' It was not a request, but an order. "Fill it we shall for you, my dear" I said, and passing her bottle to Nobby, snapped "Fill it to the top, old boy!" . Nobby took the bottle in one of his thick, stubby, dirty hands, grunted, and went to the changing/shower area. "Oh...and I am not your 'dear'!" she snapped. "Yes, my lady, as you say" I remarked, ever the cavalier.

A minute later Nobby returned, and handed the woman her bottle- filled right up- albeit with a warm, yellow fluid. Her face showed initial surprise, then contorted in disgust. She stormed off, and returned with the counter/towel boy- none other than Marvin, our Down-Syndrome challenged friend and a true Iron Warrior. "Expel these PIGS" the woman sneered.
Nobby leaned over to Marvin "Oi, Mahvin, ow abaht it?" he said, grinning, and handed Marvin his trusted bike chain.
Marvin took the bike chain in his hands, trembling with emotion at such an honour, and behind his 2 inch thick glasses I could see true Iron Warrior fanaticism brewing.
Screaming, he turned and whacked the woman across the face with his chain, then chased her around the gym, swinging the chain over his head. Unfortunately, his banzai charge got a tad out of hand and he ran into and old lady, who looked at least 150 years old, and the two of them went flying through the front glass window of the health club and onto the sidewalk outside, where they lay cut and bleeding.
"AWROIGHT MAHVIN! FOOKIN A!" Nobby roared, and collected his chain.

The next evening, the manager approached us and began berating us for 'intimidating' members. I stopped my set of front barbell raises with 185 pounds, and turned to face him. "Please, Sir, do feel at liberty to go fuck yourself", I said. Nobby picked up an E-Z curl bar, and, screaming "YA FOOKIN' BASTAHHHDDD!!" began bending the bar in half with truly superhuman force- then put the now U-shaped bar around the manager's neck, and bent it still further- actually wrapping the bar around his neck! He struggled to pry it apart, but it was of no use, and 15 minutes later members of the fire department arrived to help get the E-Z curl bar off of his neck. The 'jaws of life' had to be used to pry it open. Suddenly, Marvin walked in, bandaged and no doubt out on bail, and the manager turned to him and screamed "YOU ARE FIRED!!"

As we were leaving, walking through the parking lot heading for the Rolls Royce, the manager pulled up alongside us in his car - "I have called the police...you are not to come back ever- do you hear?" he screamed. Nobby and I had had enough of this harassment. He saw the anger in our eyes and floored it, hoping to escape- but Nobby had lifted the end of his car, and his wheels spun to no effect! I seized his car from the side, and promptly flipped it over with such Herculean force that it rolled over 3 times before stopping. Marvin burst out the door, screaming 'ARRGH FUCK KILL" and, brandishing an Olympic bar, began beating on the manager's car, smashing out the windows. As the sound of police sirens neared, Nobby and I took off, leaving Marvin to be arrested and beaten by the police.

They haven't heard the last of us, I tell you!

Here are a couple more...

Proper Spotting

Caught Injecting!

**k_kingston** · 10-04-2005, 06:34 PM

me trying to get the proper form down for deadlifts

**rookie84** · 10-04-2005, 06:41 PM

A few years ago durning my freshman year of college, I was working out in the weight room at the school with my buddy who was the middle linebacker there, he was 5'10", 210 and benched around 510. There was this dude that was always in there that was about 5'7" a buck 80 and had 2 dudes that always came there with him that just stood around and spotted him. My friend got done doing 315 on the decline, this small dude has his friends load 315 back on when we finish, He's yelling and throwing stuff and acting ignorant, he unracks it and I've never seen someone let weight go on their chest that fast, he starts yellin to his dudes frantically, oh hell, get it, get it...I laughed for hours.

**Lavinco** · 10-04-2005, 06:45 PM

I remember a few years ago there was this really big dude (280ish) being trained by this smaller dude (180ish) and while the big guy was doing some dumbbell flys and about to drop the weights from exhaustion, that arrogant prick trainer of his grabs the weights, holds them over his head and yells really LOUD "Who's your master?!" Mr. big squealed like a little pig, "You are!" just before he almost dropped the damn weights right on his head.

The receiver in the relationship obviously.

**Haro3** · 10-20-2005, 11:31 AM

I know this post is old but I had to throw a few in there. I go to MU, pretty big campus alot of pretty boys... so you gotta love it when 3 out of their 4 work outs are based on curls and bench but nonetheless I'm forced to change my routine around theirs because mondays and fridays the gym is slammed with these kids. They come in on a friday around 5 "gotta get a pump before tonight so i fill out my XS abercrombie shirt" then you get the same kids on mondays "man i gotta hit it hard i drank to much this weekend, gotta get back into it" wow..... these guys are winners, tuesday, wednesday, thursday they dont even know what a gym is.

Second, Mizzou's gym is HUGE I think it is supposed to be one of the best in the country but we have TONS of barbells, dumb bells, preacher bars, straight bars, plenty..... and then we have 4 squat racks 2 with platforms. Now the guys that come in there and use the squat rack to do curls with a 45lb bar and a 5 on each side deserve to be hit with the equipment they are using. Seriously dude, you're using 55lbs.......we have 55lb straight bars two feet away.....now get out of the way of my leg day!!! wow

Lastly.. I saw this kid last year I didnt know if i should tell him to stop or just sit their and continue laughing like an idiot. But this kid was maybe 140lbs tall and incredibly skinny. He grabbed the 30lb dumb bells stood straight up and i figured ok MAYBE he's going to do some curls.....no....this kid picks one dumb bell up while the other is at his side, picks it up to his shoulder and attempts a punching movement with the weight in his hand? I looked like he was trying to throw a hard punch but yet he was holding 30lbs inwhich caused his arm to fall to his side when it got 8 inches away from his shoulder......this kid must have gotten his ass beat at a party and was preparing for revenge.... and i wonder what these kids are doing in college.....

**stu** · 10-20-2005, 12:00 PM

there this one skinny fcker 26 maybe 25 long dangly arms to his knees sits on the pec deck across fron the womans inner thigh machine just staring for the whole time theres a chick there, then leaves comes back when another chick is workin it this time he stood up cause someone wanted the dec machine he had a boner the chick said you like tha ah, turned out he was handicaped,,,poor guy

**chest6** · 10-20-2005, 12:04 PM

Originally Posted by Haro3

Lastly.. I saw this kid last year I didnt know if i should tell him to stop or just sit their and continue laughing like an idiot. But this kid was maybe 140lbs tall and incredibly skinny. He grabbed the 30lb dumb bells stood straight up and i figured ok MAYBE he's going to do some curls.....no....this kid picks one dumb bell up while the other is at his side, picks it up to his shoulder and attempts a punching movement with the weight in his hand? I looked like he was trying to throw a hard punch but yet he was holding 30lbs inwhich caused his arm to fall to his side when it got 8 inches away from his shoulder......this kid must have gotten his ass beat at a party and was preparing for revenge.... and i wonder what these kids are doing in college.....

hahahaha i saw a kid doing this the other day...i was just staring and laughing

**KDRLINUS** · 10-20-2005, 12:12 PM

Originally Posted by 04hayabusa

1.Standing 2" in front of dumbell rack while working out
2.Not bringing a towel and sweating all over everything
3.Naked fags just hanging out in the locker room for no reason
4.tying up 2 benches and 2 machines simultaniously for 1 set
5.All the LOUD " look at me" people who think the whole gym gives a shit what they did that weekend and how much $ they spent on everything they own.

i think we work out at the same place...... LOL AMEN BROTHA

**1819** · 10-20-2005, 12:16 PM

[QUOTE=mkv213]What is the stupidest shit you've seen at the gym lately?

my reflection in the mirror

**wrestler152** · 10-20-2005, 12:25 PM

my first powerlifting meet there was a guy walking around wearing tights, a cut off sweat shirt that said "the Danimal" and a matching headband. Who gives themself anickname and then wears a shirt with it on it. He was truly a tool. The best part was he did one lift and hurt himself and opted to strut around the rest of the day.,