wife cheated, honest opinions...

[bigbouncinballs]

now that ive got your attention, heres the scoop. need some MATURE advice. been together five years, she cheated three times, i cheated five. both still wanna stay together and are currently workin through things, the confessions were about a month ago. so this isnt the issue, the issue is that one of the guys was a guy she worked with and i could locate pretty easily.

should i seek retribution?

yes, she gave it up and made the decision to spread her legs so im not displacing my anger solely upon him... the problem i have is that he knew she was married. i was brought up NEVER to mess with an involved woman, especially someone married. am i old fashioned? i have made a lot of bad/violent decisions in my past and am trying to distance myself from that behavior as i get older, however nothing would make me feel better than to teach this guy what i already know, 'never fvck with a married woman!' however, this too has its repurcussions...

is this simply hurt pride i need to get over, or is it almost mandatory that this guy be dealt some vigilante justice?

been losin sleep over this... i get back in the country in a little over a month and would desperately like to have my head straight about it so any suggestions/advice would be greatly appreciated.

[bigbouncinballs]

forgot to mention that the guy is also married.

[Myka]

Im not married so I cant empathize...but I think his wife should know if she doesnt already...good luck...Im sure youll get lots of replies...

[bigbouncinballs]

Im not married so I cant empathize...but I think his wife should know if she doesnt already...good luck...Im sure youll get lots of replies...

yeah, my wife's writing an apology letter to let her know and to apologize... maybe i should leave it at that... but what if she's doin the same and doesn't care? ideally id want this guy to suffer as much as i have for thier actions. ideally.

[SVTMuscle*]

So let get this right
You have cheated on your WIFE (who you solomenly swore to be honest to till death do you part) FIVE times?

And your Cock-addicted wife cheated on you THREE times?

it seems like yall need to join a swinger's club or something because unless yall like tape one another banging other people, that is one disfunctional relationship bro. i pray to god no children are involved!

[bigbouncinballs]

So let get this right
You have cheated on your WIFE (who you solomenly swore to be honest to till death do you part) FIVE times?

And your Cock-addicted wife cheated on you THREE times?

it seems like yall need to join a swinger's club or something because unless yall like tape one another banging other people, that is one disfunctional relationship bro. i pray to god no children are involved!

id appreciate it if you'd watch your mouth. please reference the section on 'MATURE' advice needed and refrain from using derogatory terms for issues NOT EVEN RELATED to the question. save your character judgement for the mirror.

[DamnYouMSN]

why be married if you both cheat....is it worth being together?

[DamnYouMSN]

well theirs nothing "mature" about cheating 5 times.....

[stocky121]

i think you are the one who can make the decision on what should be done

let's be honest you've both cheated on each other so you carn't be pissed with each other.

to be honest he new she was married and he still went head anyway in my eye's that's disrespectful to you

[bigbouncinballs]

well theirs nothing "mature" about cheating 5 times.....

there sure isnt, however, the question is not about the cheating, that is the history that leads up to the problem at hand...

[DamnYouMSN]

you know to be honest i would blame your wife more than the guy... if anything you should only deal with your wife.

[SVTMuscle*]

id appreciate it if you'd watch your mouth. please reference the section on 'MATURE' advice needed and refrain from using derogatory terms for issues NOT EVEN RELATED to the question. save your character judgement for the mirror.

Well there was like a hidden message in that post that it appears that you two clearly dont care about eachother enough to be honest to eachother. Sure on the surface you to do, because thats what yall are comfortable with since you've been togeather for so long. But.... from the looks of it, there is nothing good comming out of this "relationship"

[bigbouncinballs]

Well there was like a hidden message in that post that it appears that you two clearly dont care about eachother enough to be honest to eachother. Sure on the surface you to do, because thats what yall are comfortable with since you've been togeather for so long. But.... from the looks of it, there is nothing good comming out of this "relationship"

you only know what ive told so lets not make uneducated assumptions. ON TOPIC: would you stomach the fact that the guy knew she was married and did it anyway, or do otherwise?

[bigbouncinballs]

and no, there aren't any children.

[Testsubject]

Honestly, If you never once cheated on her I say go ahead and seek retribution, no problem, but seeing as though you cheated one her it seems kind of feeble to go and do that, just my opinion though.

[DamnYouMSN]

you only know what ive told so lets not make uneducated assumptions. ON TOPIC: would you stomach the fact that the guy knew she was married and did it anyway, or do otherwise?

just seems like you're looking for an excuse to beat the guys ass.

[DamnYouMSN]

Honestly, If you never once cheated on her I say go ahead and seek retribution, no problem, but seeing as though you cheated one her it seems kind of feeble to go and do that, just my opinion though.

ditto

[bigbouncinballs]

just seems like you're looking for an excuse to beat the guys ass.

acutally its quite the opposite. i feel that would be the juvenile thing to do. i would never assault a guy for sexin up someone's girlfriend, but to know a woman is married and to do it anyways seems... i dunno. maybe i need to change my views on that.
what about the guys that only hook up with married women? is that now ok?

[Evil Predator]

Bro, it really wont solve anything, but know how you feel, anger isnt easily supressed...

My girl left this morning, gave me a choice I didnt want to make, she made it for me. Right now im a rage, shaking while I type, i'd like to kill someone.

Do what im going to do, go the gym. Forget about her, forget about him, forget about all the shit that pisses you off and just keep moving forward with your life/goals/family.

Try to turn that anger into something worthwhile bro, and good luck.

[DamnYouMSN]

well now that's just a home wrecker.... but man how much do you guys really love each other to be continually cheating on one another?

[DamnYouMSN]

you guys need some Dr.Phil

[bigbouncinballs]

Bro, it really wont solve anything, but know how you feel, anger isnt easily supressed...

My girl left this morning, gave me a choice I didnt want to make, she made it for me. Right now im a rage, shaking while I type, i'd like to kill someone.

Do what im going to do, go the gym. Forget about her, forget about him, forget about all the shit that pisses you off and just keep moving forward with your life/goals/family.

Try to turn that anger into something worthwhile bro, and good luck.

spoken like a man in control. best advice yet. thnx.

[bigbouncinballs]

well now that's just a home wrecker.... but man how much do you guys really love each other to be continually cheating on one another?

plenty, we've had some pretty rough spots at times. last infidelity was a year and a half ago, since then its been smooth. still wanna be together, just tough sometimes.

[Evil Predator]

spoken like a man in control. best advice yet. thnx.

Let me rephrase that for you...

"Spoken like a man trying to hold it together"

[farrebarre]

if she was the only one cheating, and the guy knew she was married, then you could beat the crap out of that guy and bitchslap ur wife, but since you both cheated its not a good idea. IMO hes not worth going to jail for so i would do what Evil Predator said, and try to turn that anger into something worthwhile.

[speedtraining]

This is what I would do....you will never trust her in the back of your mind, and she will never trust you...this is the foundation to a relationship...I would definitley seperate and not look back, zero phone calls or anything, I would defintley tell the other dudes wife and ruin his marriage just for the sake of it- that would make me feel a little beter...Don't look back if you do your looking for trouble....and you shouldn't get married again if your going to cheat because there's no point. Good luck.

[Testsubject]

if she was the only one cheating, and the guy knew she was married, then you could beat the crap out of that guy and bitchslap ur wife

My thoughts exactly! Provided she was the only one cheating.

[RJstrong]

it's a tough situation no matter how you look at it... I suppose if you are willing to forgive her you may as well forgive him.

[farrebarre]

PS. you have to act like an Alpha male, be in control of your anger, and in the same time show her that ur the man, ur in control and if she cheats again its over.

[timvds]

plenty, we've had some pretty rough spots at times. last infidelity was a year and a half ago, since then its been smooth. still wanna be together, just tough sometimes.

There is always going to be SOME resentment though. It will follow you two around for the rest of your days most likely. If you can handle it work it out, if it gets to you move on.

It gets better im sure, at least thats what I tell myself.

However if I did not have kids I would have moved on quite some time ago.

[Mealticket]

. i was brought up NEVER to mess with an involved woman, especially someone married. am i old fashioned?

.

But you went brought up to "Honor and love your wife"?

kind of hipocritical

I think old fashioned took a one way trip out of town once you cheated

[Iron_Head_101]

This is what I would do....you will never trust her in the back of your mind, and she will never trust you...this is the foundation to a relationship...I would definitley seperate and not look back, zero phone calls or anything, I would defintley tell the other dudes wife and ruin his marriage just for the sake of it- that would make me feel a little beter...Don't look back if you do your looking for trouble....and you shouldn't get married again if your going to cheat because there's no point. Good luck.

I agree with this opinion and a couple other ones but this one is clearly to me what I would do, UNLESS it's cheaper to keeper and you don't have to wprry about her going after any of your shit which in my opinion sucks azz as it's happened to me. Stick it out and pull out slowly making sure she isn't going to take you to court for any of your belonging's.

But if you really love her then you both need some help to work shit out. Just my 2 cents

[edmen2]

now that ive got your attention, heres the scoop. need some MATURE advice. been together five years, she cheated three times, i cheated five. both still wanna stay together and are currently workin through things, the confessions were about a month ago. so this isnt the issue, the issue is that one of the guys was a guy she worked with and i could locate pretty easily.

should i seek retribution?

yes, she gave it up and made the decision to spread her legs so im not displacing my anger solely upon him... the problem i have is that he knew she was married. i was brought up NEVER to mess with an involved woman, especially someone married. am i old fashioned? i have made a lot of bad/violent decisions in my past and am trying to distance myself from that behavior as i get older, however nothing would make me feel better than to teach this guy what i already know, 'never fvck with a married woman!' however, this too has its repurcussions...

is this simply hurt pride i need to get over, or is it almost mandatory that this guy be dealt some vigilante justice?

been losin sleep over this... i get back in the country in a little over a month and would desperately like to have my head straight about it so any suggestions/advice would be greatly appreciated.

if u want revenge w/o violence just tell his wife!

[timvds]

But you went brought up to "Honor and love your wife"?

kind of hipocritical

I think old fashioned took a one way trip out of town once you cheated

I don't think it is hipocritical at all.

Do not covet thy neighbors wife is a commandment.

You can still honor and love your wife if you are unfaithful.

[needmorestrength]

acutally its quite the opposite. i feel that would be the juvenile thing to do. i would never assault a guy for sexin up someone's girlfriend, but to know a woman is married and to do it anyways seems... i dunno. maybe i need to change my views on that.
what about the guys that only hook up with married women? is that now ok?

If any guy even looks at my baby I want to beat them.. Im a little crazy though lol..... Listen bud.. You've both cheated on each other.. You have obviously forgiven each other, which means you should be ready to move on and leave the past in the past. I would lay down the rule though (this is if you can keep your dick in your pants) that if either of you cheat again, its done! I would personally think that your wifes letter is retribution enough!

[bigbouncinballs]

But you went brought up to "Honor and love your wife"?

kind of hipocritical

I think old fashioned took a one way trip out of town once you cheated

you're absolutely right, however it wasn't a traditional marriage, it was at a courthouse, she's from germany and she wanted to work and go to school here as well as continue the relationship so we got married so to speak. the REAL ceremony comes if we can work this out. but yes, hypocritical for sure.

[BIGRTHABETTR]

Tough call, with your wife if you both do it so be it, but the guy, did he know you, if so fuc him up, if not, yoke him up by his neck tell him next time your going to put him in ICU. JMO

[bigbouncinballs]

it's a tough situation no matter how you look at it... I suppose if you are willing to forgive her you may as well forgive him.

good point.

[sp9]

Mature advice - You should get divorced, and neither of you re-marry anyone until you know you will be faithful.

Also, you should both talk to a professional about your mental states and habits.

[speedtraining]

Mature advice - You should get divorced, and neither of you re-marry anyone until you know you will be faithful.

Also, you should both talk to a professional about your mental states and habits.

thats it....and any one who says other wise is setting you up for more emotional drama.