wife cheated, honest opinions...

[GQ-Bouncer]

BigBouncin - I understand where your comming from

I dont think it's called for that the guy get's a beating (assuming he is a normal person). If i were you, i would find him, and have a (strong) talk with him - that would end things straight away as far as your wife cheating on you again with him. Your looking to establish dominance over him, not to physically punish him. I guarntee that after that encounter he will be scared of you for a long long time. (fear lasts longer than pain)

Have you thought about having an open marriage? (i.e. both parties are allowed to sleep with other people, within certain rules of course)

[Carlos_E]

now that ive got your attention, heres the scoop. need some MATURE advice. been together five years, she cheated three times, i cheated five. both still wanna stay together and are currently workin through things, the confessions were about a month ago. so this isnt the issue, the issue is that one of the guys was a guy she worked with and i could locate pretty easily.

should i seek retribution?

yes, she gave it up and made the decision to spread her legs so im not displacing my anger solely upon him... the problem i have is that he knew she was married. i was brought up NEVER to mess with an involved woman, especially someone married. am i old fashioned? i have made a lot of bad/violent decisions in my past and am trying to distance myself from that behavior as i get older, however nothing would make me feel better than to teach this guy what i already know, 'never fvck with a married woman!' however, this too has its repurcussions...

is this simply hurt pride i need to get over, or is it almost mandatory that this guy be dealt some vigilante justice?

been losin sleep over this... i get back in the country in a little over a month and would desperately like to have my head straight about it so any suggestions/advice would be greatly appreciated.

I think you and your wife need to work this out and leave the other guy and his wife out of it. This is between you two. You say you want revenge on this guy. (I know how you feel. I called one of the guys my now ex bf was with and the dude bragged about how good it was! I want to crack his skull open) Your wife cheated. It could have easily been a different guy so leave him out of it.

As far as you cheating. It's hard to cast judgment on her when you've done the same thing more times than her. Is it because you travel and you're away from each other? (I don't accept that as an excuse because I was faithful to my ex who was in another country.) I suggest you go to married counseling to figure out why you two are doing this to each other.

[NotSmall]

Well, that is your opinion.. Why don't you call her and let her know how you feel? Oh, that's right. You don't know who she is.. Nor I for that matter, or what goes on in my household.

Well I was just going on the information you posted, that you are a cheater and your wife accepts that.

[panasonicbike]

Who was the first to cheat you or her?

[Massacre]

Been in this situation before only I wasn't married. I felt like you did as far as going to beat the guy's ass but for what?

He's just being a 'guy' the same way you were when you cheated. He's not at fault and if he knew you guys were married well, she obviously didn't mind so I think you both YOU and YOUR WIFE are to blame here. I personally tried to work things out with my ex after she told me she had sex with someone else and it tore me apart. We would get into fights about it all the time for the remainder of our relationship as it made me feel insecure and betrayed. We cut it, she got with that guy and is still with him. I found someone else that was better and I have no animosity towards either of them.

I think he has it worse then I did in some cases now as she hides the fact that she talks to me(as a friend) and always gets caught.

Karma is a mother****er eh?

[Mizfit]

whut u do comes back to you

[Tren Bull]

now that ive got your attention, heres the scoop. need some MATURE advice. been together five years, she cheated three times, i cheated five. both still wanna stay together and are currently workin through things, the confessions were about a month ago. so this isnt the issue, the issue is that one of the guys was a guy she worked with and i could locate pretty easily.

should i seek retribution?

yes, she gave it up and made the decision to spread her legs so im not displacing my anger solely upon him... the problem i have is that he knew she was married. i was brought up NEVER to mess with an involved woman, especially someone married. am i old fashioned? i have made a lot of bad/violent decisions in my past and am trying to distance myself from that behavior as i get older, however nothing would make me feel better than to teach this guy what i already know, 'never fvck with a married woman!' however, this too has its repurcussions...

is this simply hurt pride i need to get over, or is it almost mandatory that this guy be dealt some vigilante justice?

been losin sleep over this... i get back in the country in a little over a month and would desperately like to have my head straight about it so any suggestions/advice would be greatly appreciated.

im sure it would temporarily feel good to beat down this guy, but in reality its not a very wise thing to do. you look like a pretty strong guy, so keep in mind that if you were to beat on him repetedly, theres a pretty good chance youd break bones (which is a felony) do you really want to risk losing 3-5 years or more of your life?

[bigbouncinballs]

Been in this situation before only I wasn't married. I felt like you did as far as going to beat the guy's ass but for what?

He's just being a 'guy' the same way you were when you cheated. He's not at fault and if he knew you guys were married well, she obviously didn't mind so I think you both YOU and YOUR WIFE are to blame here. I personally tried to work things out with my ex after she told me she had sex with someone else and it tore me apart. We would get into fights about it all the time for the remainder of our relationship as it made me feel insecure and betrayed. We cut it, she got with that guy and is still with him. I found someone else that was better and I have no animosity towards either of them.

I think he has it worse then I did in some cases now as she hides the fact that she talks to me(as a friend) and always gets caught.

Karma is a mother****er eh?

it is extremely difficult to let go of, even when i did it so many times myself. how can i feel so insecure and betrayed when i was doing the same thing... fvckin pride...

[bigbouncinballs]

im sure it would temporarily feel good to beat down this guy, but in reality its not a very wise thing to do. you look like a pretty strong guy, so keep in mind that if you were to beat on him repetedly, theres a pretty good chance youd break bones (which is a felony) do you really want to risk losing 3-5 years or more of your life?

didn't know that... and no, i don't want to lose any more time to this... or dignity. something i am, it appears, in short supply of at the moment.

[Tren Bull]

didn't know that... and no, i don't want to lose any more time to this... or dignity. something i am, it appears, in short supply of at the moment.

its a shi_ty situation bro, and im sorry it had to happen

[spywizard]

well you can attack him, he may kill you, or maim you.. you may spend the rest of your life in prison..

because your wife said yes and betrayed you..

best advice i can give, is end the destructive behavior that you are both showing , and try to start over..

good luck.. sorry this had to happen to you..

[Evil Predator]

it is extremely difficult to let go of, even when i did it so many times myself. how can i feel so insecure and betrayed when i was doing the same thing... fvckin pride...

Pride bro??? Seriously, you threw that out when you stuck your manhood in 5 other girls. Lets look at reality here, either you suck it up, do what a MAN would do, admit your wrong, and fix the problem or you end your marriage.

Kicking this guys ass doesnt make you a man, and it wont change/fix anything either of you have done.

Not shittin' on ya bro, just telling ya how I see it.

[bigbouncinballs]

Pride bro??? Seriously, you threw that out when you stuck your manhood in 5 other girls. Lets look at reality here, either you suck it up, do what a MAN would do, admit your wrong, and fix the problem or you end your marriage.

Kicking this guys ass doesnt make you a man, and it wont change/fix anything either of you have done.

Not shittin' on ya bro, just telling ya how I see it.

i never said the hurt pride follows logically... just that i'd think gettin over the cheatin would be easier having done it so many times myself, its not.
how'd your situation end up?
and where the hell is moncton... been wonderin that for a while now.

[Growingpains]

I think in order to forget about the past you need to only focus on your relationship at hand. If and only if you are willing to work through it should you seek therapy and get it done so that you never have to deal with it again and you can have the relationship that you had when you first starting dating (ie. purity, unconditional love etc.)

Best of luck,

GP

[Evil Predator]

i never said the hurt pride follows logically... just that i'd think gettin over the cheatin would be easier having done it so many times myself, its not.
how'd your situation end up?
and where the hell is moncton... been wonderin that for a while now.

My girl is gone man...

on the uppside tho, i think i met a hot 37yo friend with benefits tonight...

she found out my girl left and said she wanted to rape me to make me feel better, I told her you couldnt rape the willing, but we could still play rough

I miss her, but i'll live. Theres 3 billion women out there, im sure i'll like at least one more of em

Oh, and im in NB, canada...

[bigbouncinballs]

My girl is gone man...

on the uppside tho, i think i met a hot 37yo friend with benefits tonight...

she found out my girl left and said she wanted to rape me to make me feel better, I told her you couldnt rape the willing, but we could still play rough

I miss her, but i'll live. Theres 3 billion women out there, im sure i'll like at least one more of em

Oh, and im in NB, canada...

pretty good odds

[Doc.Sust]

yeah man, let it go, it is not worth it,pride may be fckn with you but beating this guy wont change it, you were both wrong

[El Jugo Buen0]

first off...i could NEVER stay with a girl that had sex with someone else while shes with me, that pu$$y was just tainted. (i also agree with you on the don't mess with anyone thats involved thing, just common respect). If you mess that guy up, it's a double edged sword because you win by kicking his a$$ and taking away his manhood...however, your wife also wins because you fought over her... if I were you i'd divorce her, beat the crap out of the guy and on him when hes on the floor.

[Boricua Pump]

It's stupid because you say you were brought up not to mess with anyone married. Were you brought up to cheat if YOU are married though? I'd just work it out or divorce. KEEP YOUR DICK IN YOUR PANTS MAN! God bless you and your wife. I hope you two work it out

[BOUNCER]

Mature advice - You should get divorced, and neither of you re-marry anyone until you know you will be faithful.

Also, you should both talk to a professional about your mental states and habits.

Agreed 100%.

Also if this guy knows you then yes you have to deal with him, even if its just for your pride. If he doesn't know you, let it go. He's only done what you'd do yourself. But like I said, if he knows you, deal with him very hard.

[hardgainer12]

this kind of thing makes my stomach squirm! if my girl cheated on me i would fvk someone up real bad! i could never touch or lick our **** her again! another dudes wang was in her! sorry to hear this but it seem rather repetitive so good luck

[rgecko23]

How Can You Be Pissed Of At Her For Doing The Same Thing You Did??????

[Bigen12]

Agreed 100%.

Also if this guy knows you then yes you have to deal with him, even if its just for your pride. If he doesn't know you, let it go. He's only done what you'd do yourself. But like I said, if he knows you, deal with him very hard.

My thoughts exactly,

A perfect stranger, is meaningless, but a person that knows you, that's a slap in the face.

[JR.SHRED]

I would have to say get divorced you guys will never trust each other again, and it will just be miserable all the time

[ScreaM]

Well, heres a few things... insecurty feeds off of its self, lets say some time you thought... well, my wife could be cheating on me right now... well, maybe she is, but true or not, your mentally gonna blow this shit out of perportion. Its always harder to understand what the f^ck the other person was thinking after they did it... What made her/you cheat on you/her? Spur of the moment? Past relation ships? Im not trying to dig on you at all, just find out what the missing piece is... do you both love physical pleasure? Just like having fun with other people? Then sit down and think about what your relationsship means to you guys. You got married for a reason... because you were in love... chances are thats not gone, i think you(both) just got alittle side tracked...

Goodluckbro,

ScreaM

[IronAdonis]

I would want to kick his ass for doing my wife. Just because you cheated doesnt make it alright for your wife to cheat.

[Dally]

I remember you man.


I'm pretty sorry to hear that ur goin thru that fukin shit....thats entirely consuming. You probably cant stop thinkin about it. I'll be honest. If you can work it out, you'll feel better eventually. Not 100% tho man....never again.

Don't let that sway ya from her tho....people make mistakes right?

over and over too....some just take a bit more or a good kick in the teeth to learn.

You have to ask urself tho, will you do it again? and do you think she will?

as a side note....what led up to this confession? was it an arguement? and a heated discussion whereas one of ya said it ...possibly to hurt the other and then bam...its all out?

or how did it happen, I think thats important in determining what to do next.


in terms or knockin that dude out? Would I....I'd have a fukin hell of a hard time not doin it.


but, then again, I'm not Mr.Sane.

[zimmy]

now that ive got your attention, heres the scoop. need some MATURE advice. been together five years, she cheated three times, i cheated five. both still wanna stay together and are currently workin through things, the confessions were about a month ago. so this isnt the issue, the issue is that one of the guys was a guy she worked with and i could locate pretty easily.

should i seek retribution?

yes, she gave it up and made the decision to spread her legs so im not displacing my anger solely upon him... the problem i have is that he knew she was married. i was brought up NEVER to mess with an involved woman, especially someone married. am i old fashioned? i have made a lot of bad/violent decisions in my past and am trying to distance myself from that behavior as i get older, however nothing would make me feel better than to teach this guy what i already know, 'never fvck with a married woman!' however, this too has its repurcussions...

is this simply hurt pride i need to get over, or is it almost mandatory that this guy be dealt some vigilante justice?

been losin sleep over this... i get back in the country in a little over a month and would desperately like to have my head straight about it so any suggestions/advice would be greatly appreciated.

Honestly...i've messed around with a married lady before. I am extremely old fashioned so it's not a thing on morals and things like that. You just find yourself in that situation and the part of your brain saying it's wrong gets a bit clouded. I'm sure it's probably the same way cheating would happen if i were married.

That being said...if the guy she works with could get her fired for you kicking his @ss then you should consider that. My opinion would be to notify his wife that he cheated as she probably doesn't know

[bigbouncinballs]

I remember you man.


I'm pretty sorry to hear that ur goin thru that fukin shit....thats entirely consuming. You probably cant stop thinkin about it. I'll be honest. If you can work it out, you'll feel better eventually. Not 100% tho man....never again.

Don't let that sway ya from her tho....people make mistakes right?

over and over too....some just take a bit more or a good kick in the teeth to learn.

You have to ask urself tho, will you do it again? and do you think she will?

as a side note....what led up to this confession? was it an arguement? and a heated discussion whereas one of ya said it ...possibly to hurt the other and then bam...its all out?

or how did it happen, I think thats important in determining what to do next.


in terms or knockin that dude out? Would I....I'd have a fukin hell of a hard time not doin it.


but, then again, I'm not Mr.Sane.

you're right... cant stop thinkin bout it, cant get any good sleep, entirely consuming.
i know i wont do it again, id end it before that ever happens again, she promises the same.
the confession came about because i had had my doubts. i had asked her for the past year or so if there was anything else but to no avail. i finally went dr. phil on her and gave her a trusting environment with no anger and no ultimatums and said get it out and she did, as did i.
people make mistakes... its just hard to stomach, incredibly hard. even when you do the exact same thing.

[IronReload04]

dude, you cheated too. thats up there with some of the worst things you can do to a woman. what goes around comes around. YOu are no better than him

[bigbouncinballs]

dude, you cheated too. thats up there with some of the worst things you can do to a woman. what goes around comes around. YOu are no better than him

you're absolutely right... thats what i gotta remember.

[IronReload04]

plus dude, jail isnt worth it.

like some of the others said, a nice talkin to can be a good thing.

just my 2 cents. i speak from the heart

[max2extreme]

I agree with ironreloaded and some others here. It sucks you cheated. It sucks your wife cheated. But WHy do you think this other guy should get beat down for cheatin with a wife and you shouldnt get beat down for cheating on a wife? its like you have double standards... or you are trying to make it seem like what the other guy did was worse than what you did, when thats not the case. I think if you truly want to stay together... all of this focus should be on your wife and you and forget the rest of the world.

[max2extreme]

Also, id bet, chances are if you go after this guy, that wont help your relationship, which is what you really want.

[max2extreme]

and good luck with everything.

[AllGearedUp]

I feel your pain man. I was with my wife for seven years. She got a job as a dispatcher for a police dept. Shed talk about a certain guy from time to time. It never bothered me at all. I had enough confidence in myself and our relationship, to not worry. One day she woke up and told me she didnt have feelings for me like she used to. A couple weeks later we seperated. It was the hardest thing ever. I had to move away from my son.
One night I went to a bar down the street from her. I saw my old neighbor there. He asked me if I met her new BF. He proceeded to tell me hes a cop from her station. The same ****in guy she talked about from time to time. This was like 2 weeks after I moved out. I seriously would of beat this guy, but bein a cop and all, wasnt a wise choice.
Then i realized that theres SOOOOOOO many fish in the sea. All ya have to do is take your pick. Good luck with it. Time heals all wounds.

[Anna Bollick]

You both need to just let it go, Girlfriend. No need to do the vengeance thing. Give it up and move on. If you are both ready to let bygones be bygones and to be either monogamous or accepting of each other's infidelity, then you have a viable relationship. Someday you will look back at this episode as a turning point in your relationship. Do you want it to be an upturn, or a downturn? It really is up to you both.

Love
Anna

[Oki-Des]

I do feel for you, but you cant expect someone else to respect your marriage if you dont respect it yourself.

[SwoleCat]

I would want to kick his ass for doing my wife. Just because you cheated doesnt make it alright for your wife to cheat.

Wow, look at the logical reasoning in all of that!!



~SC~

[bigbouncinballs]

you all have been a great help. not only in handling the guy appropriately but in handling the situation itself.

thnx