sick jokes.....

**novastepp** · 04-01-2008, 07:58 AM

Originally Posted by Juggernaut

My girl friend told me the other day she thought I might be a pedophile. I said “Whoa, whoa, whoa…….that’s a mighty big word for a 12 year old.

old thread but nonetheless... the best one yet.

**wilson9d** · 04-01-2008, 07:56 PM

^^^ funny

**qualityclrk1** · 04-01-2008, 08:08 PM

Guy takes his wife to the Doctor...

The Doc comes out of the wife's room and says to the husband, "Well, it's either Alzheimers disease or AIDS."

"What do you mean?" The guy says, "You can't tell the difference?"

"Yeah, the two look a lot alike in the early stages... Tell you what.. Drive her way out into the country, kick her out of the car, and if she finds her way back, don't fvck her."

**D-Unit 39** · 04-02-2008, 12:52 AM

Ahaha Im so glad someone bumped this or I never would have seen it....

Solid jokes gentleman!

**qualityclrk1** · 04-02-2008, 04:30 AM

Originally Posted by D-Unit 39

Ahaha Im so glad someone fvcking awesome bumped this or I never would have seen it....

Solid jokes gentleman!

yeh me too!!

**_CrossroadS_** · 04-02-2008, 07:25 AM

What's the hardest part of watching a dead baby wash up on shore?

Hiding your erection from the lifegaurd.

How do you make a dead baby float?

Two parts ice cream, one part dead baby.

Whats the difference between sand and afterbirth?

You can't gargle sand.

How do you know your girlfriend is too young?

You still have to make the airplane sound when you stick your dick in her mouth.

**novastepp** · 04-02-2008, 07:51 AM

what's the difference between your ex and a mentally retarded, foul smelling, shoe collecting, whore??

nothing.

**WEBB** · 04-02-2008, 10:52 PM

Originally Posted by _CrossroadS_

What's the hardest part of watching a dead baby wash up on shore?

Hiding your erection from the lifegaurd.

How do you make a dead baby float?

Two parts ice cream, one part dead baby.

Whats the difference between sand and afterbirth?

You can't gargle sand.

How do you know your girlfriend is too young?

You still have to make the airplane sound when you stick your dick in her mouth.

i laughed so hard i almost had vomit come out my nose you sick bastard....i love it

**Amorphic** · 04-02-2008, 10:58 PM

Originally Posted by _CrossroadS_

What's the hardest part of watching a dead baby wash up on shore?

Hiding your erection from the lifegaurd.

How do you make a dead baby float?

Two parts ice cream, one part dead baby.

Whats the difference between sand and afterbirth?

You can't gargle sand.

How do you know your girlfriend is too young?

You still have to make the airplane sound when you stick your dick in her mouth.

haha those are in such bad taste you cant help but love them

**SMCengineer** · 04-02-2008, 11:26 PM

I feel dirty.

**suprman09** · 04-02-2008, 11:37 PM

nice keep them coming

**tadpoleboyy** · 04-03-2008, 06:46 PM

whats the worst part about eating bald *****?

Taking the diaper off.

How do you fit 30 dead babies into a bucket? A blender
How do you get them back out? Tortilla chips

**Amorphic** · 04-03-2008, 07:03 PM

Originally Posted by tadpoleboyy

whats the worst part about eating bald *****?

Taking the diaper off.

How do you fit 30 dead babies into a bucket? A blender
How do you get them back out? Tortilla chips

hahaha, oh those are baddddd.

**tadpoleboyy** · 04-03-2008, 07:22 PM

why thank you

**mike954** · 04-03-2008, 08:23 PM

Q: why do woman fake orgasams?..........

A: Because they think we care!..

**mike954** · 04-03-2008, 08:25 PM

Q: How do you know when your at a gay BBQ?

A: Everyone keeps asking you if the hotdogs tast like Sht.

**mike954** · 04-03-2008, 08:26 PM

Q: how do you get 4 gay guys to sit on one bar stool?

A: Turn it up side down.

**thetank** · 04-03-2008, 08:53 PM

this is literally the only joke i know.

whats the difference between acne and micheal jackson?

acne wont come on a kids face untill hes 13.

*pumps fist*
i do weddings and private parties.

**mike954** · 04-03-2008, 09:31 PM

Tank Thats Just Wrong But Funny As Hell!

**solid-d** · 04-03-2008, 09:36 PM

How do you make a 8 year old girl cry twice....

Wipe your bloody d#ck on her teddy bear..

**NATE0406** · 04-03-2008, 09:54 PM

you know 94% of woman have great DNA.. the other 6% spit it out..

**NATE0406** · 04-03-2008, 09:55 PM

what is the one useless peice of flesh around a vagina??

the woman...

**spywizard** · 04-03-2008, 10:00 PM

A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while he's drinking, the monkey starts jumping all over the place. The monkey grabs some olives off the bar and eats them, then grabs some sliced limes and eats them, then jumps up on the pool table, grabs the cue ball, sticks it in his mouth and swallows it whole.

The bartender screams at the guy, "Did you see what your monkey just did?" The guy says, "No, what?" "He just ate the cue ball off my pool table - whole!" says the bartender. "Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replies the patron. "He eats everything in sight, the little twerp. I'll pay for the cue ball and stuff." He finishes his drink, pays his bill, and leaves. Two weeks later he's in the bar again, and he has his monkey with him. He orders a drink and the monkey starts running around the bar again.

While the man is drinking, the monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his butt, pulls it out, and eats it. The bartender is disgusted. "Did you see what your monkey did now?" "Now what?" asks the patron. "Well, he stuck a maraschino cherry up his butt, then pulled it out and ate it!" says the barkeeper.

"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replies the patron. "He still eats everything in sight, but ever since he ate that damn cue ball he measures everything first!"

**WEBB** · 04-03-2008, 10:02 PM

whats the best part of having sex with a 10yr old girl....

flipping her over and pretending its a 5 yr old boy....

**l2elapse** · 04-04-2008, 12:42 AM

A man goes to the doctor and the doctor tells the man, Sir im sorry to tell you but you have Alzheimers and Cancer. The man sits for a second and begins to smile, "At least i dont have cancer."

**Dobie-BOY** · 04-04-2008, 03:08 AM

a girl is taking a shower with her mother before school. She points to her mothers crotch and asks, "mother when will I get one of those?" the mother replies, "when you grow old and wise, like me". The next morning she is taking a shower with her father before school. she points to his crotch and asks, "daddy, when will I get one of those?". The man replies,"as soon as your mom leaves for work".

**LawMan018** · 04-04-2008, 01:47 PM

Originally Posted by Dobie-BOY

a girl is taking a shower with her mother before school. She points to her mothers crotch and asks, "mother when will I get one of those?" the mother replies, "when you grow old and wise, like me". The next morning she is taking a shower with her father before school. she points to his crotch and asks, "daddy, when will I get one of those?". The man replies,"as soon as your mom leaves for work".

Omg... That is so disgusting I had to laugh, lmao!

**novastepp** · 04-04-2008, 02:15 PM

Originally Posted by WEBB

whats the best part of having sex with a 10yr old girl....

flipping her over and pretending its a 5 yr old boy....

damn.

**novastepp** · 04-04-2008, 02:16 PM

Originally Posted by Dobie-BOY

a girl is taking a shower with her mother before school. She points to her mothers crotch and asks, "mother when will I get one of those?" the mother replies, "when you grow old and wise, like me". The next morning she is taking a shower with her father before school. she points to his crotch and asks, "daddy, when will I get one of those?". The man replies,"as soon as your mom leaves for work".

holy shit that is hilarious.