'Official Postwhore Thread'

[xlxBigSexyxlx]

On a Swedish chainsaw --
'Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals.'
(Oh my God..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

[Phate]

"Do not use if you cannot see clearly to read the information in the information booklet." -- In the information booklet.

"Caution: The contents of this bottle should not be fed to fish." -- On a bottle of shampoo for dogs.

"For external use only!" -- On a curling iron.

"Warning: This product can burn eyes." -- On a curling iron.

"Do not use in shower." -- On a hair dryer.

"Do not use while sleeping." -- On a hair dryer.

"Do not use while sleeping or unconscious." -- On a hand-held massaging device.

"Do not place this product into any electronic equipment." -- On the case of a chocolate CD in a gift basket.

"Recycled flush water unsafe for drinking." -- On a toilet at a public sports facility in Ann Arbor, Michigan.

"Shin pads cannot protect any part of the body they do not cover." -- On a pair of shin guards made for bicyclists.

"This product not intended for use as a dental drill." -- On an electric rotary tool.

"Caution: Do not spray in eyes." -- On a container of underarm deodorant.

"Do not drive with sunshield in place." -- On a cardboard sunshield that keeps the sun off the dashboard.

"Caution: This is not a safety protective device." -- On a plastic toy helmet used as a container for popcorn.

"Do not use near fire, flame, or sparks." -- On an "Aim-n-Flame" fireplace lighter.

"Battery may explore or leak." -- On a battery. See a scanned image.

"Do not eat toner." -- On a toner cartridge for a laser printer.

"Not intended for highway use." -- On a 13-inch wheel on a wheelbarrow.

"This product is not to be used in bathrooms." -- On a Holmes bathroom heater.

"May irritate eyes." -- On a can of self-defense pepper spray.

"Eating rocks may lead to broken teeth." -- On a novelty rock garden set called "Popcorn Rock."

"Caution! Contents hot!" -- On a Domino's Pizza box.

"Caution: Hot beverages are hot!" -- On a coffee cup.

"Caution: Shoots rubber bands." -- On a product called "Rubber Band Shooter."

"Warning: May contain small parts." -- On a frisbee.

"Do not use orally." -- On a toilet bowl cleaning brush.

"Please keep out of children." -- On a butcher knife.

"Not suitable for children aged 36 months or less." -- On a birthday card for a 1 year old.

"Do not recharge, put in backwards, or use." -- On a battery.

"Warning: Do not use on eyes." -- In the manual for a heated seat cushion.

"Do not look into laser with remaining eye." -- On a laser pointer.

"Do not use for drying pets." -- In the manual for a microwave oven.

"For use on animals only." -- On an electric cattle prod.

"For use by trained personnel only." -- On a can of air freshener.

"Keep out of reach of children and teenagers." -- On a can of air freshener.

"Remember, objects in the mirror are actually behind you." -- On a motorcycle helmet-mounted rear-view mirror.

"Warning: Riders of personal watercraft may suffer injury due to the forceful injection of water into body cavities either by falling into the water or while mounting the craft." -- In the manual for a jetski.

"Warning: Do not climb inside this bag and zip it up. Doing so will cause injury and death." -- A label inside a protective bag (for fragile objects), which measures 15cm by 15cm by 12cm.

"Do not use as ear plugs." -- On a package of silly putty.

"Please store in the cold section of the refrigerator." -- On a bag of fresh grapes in Australia.

"Warning: knives are sharp!" -- On the packaging of a sharpening stone.

"Not for weight control." -- On a pack of Breath Savers.

"Twist top off with hands. Throw top away. Do not put top in mouth." -- On the label of a bottled drink.

"Theft of this container is a crime." -- On a milk crate.

"Do not use intimately." -- On a tube of deodorant.

"Warning: has been found to cause cancer in laboratory mice." -- On a box of rat poison.

"Fragile. Do not drop." -- Posted on a Boeing 757.

"Cannot be made non-poisonous." -- On the back of a can of de-icing windshield fluid.

"Caution: Remove infant before folding for storage." -- On a portable stroller.

"Excessive dust may be irritating to shin and eyes." -- On a tube of agarose powder, used to make gels.

"Look before driving." -- On the dash board of a mail truck.

"Do not iron clothes on body." -- On packaging for a Rowenta iron.

"Do not drive car or operate machinery." -- On Boot's children's cough medicine.

"For indoor or outdoor use only." -- On a string of Christmas lights.

"Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." -- On a child sized Superman costume.

"This door is alarmed from 7:00pm - 7:00am." -- On a hospital's outside access door.

"Beware! To touch these wires is instant death. Anyone found doing so will be prosecuted." -- On a sign at a railroad station.

"Warning: do not use if you have prostate problems." -- On a box of Midol PMS relief tablets.

"Product will be hot after heating." -- On a supermarket dessert box.

"Do not turn upside down." -- On the bottom of a supermarket dessert box.

"Do not light in face. Do not expose to flame." -- On a lighter.

"Choking hazard: This toy is a small ball." -- On the label for a cheap rubber ball toy.

"Not for human consumption." -- On a package of dice.

"May be harmful if swallowed." -- On a shipment of hammers.

"Using Ingenio cookware to destroy your old pots may void your warranty." -- A printed message that appears in a television advertisement when the presenter demonstrates how strong the cookware is by using it to beat up and destroy a regular frying pan.

"Do not attempt to stop the blade with your hand." -- In the manual for a Swedish chainsaw.

"Do not dangle the mouse by its cable or throw the mouse at co-workers." -- From a manual for an SGI computer.

"Warning: May contain nuts." -- On a package of peanuts.

"Do not eat." -- On a slip of paper in a stereo box, referring to the styrofoam packing.

"Do not eat if seal is missing." -- On said seal.

"Remove occupants from the stroller before folding it."

"Access hole only -- not intended for use in lifting box." -- On the sides of a shipping carton, just above cut-out openings which one would assume were handholds.

"Warning: May cause drowsiness." -- On a bottle of Nytol, a brand of sleeping pills.

"Warning: Misuse may cause injury or death." -- Stamped on the metal barrel of a .22 calibre rifle.

"Do not use orally after using rectally." -- In the instructions for an electric thermometer.

"Turn off motor before using this product." -- On the packaging for a chain saw file, used to sharpen the cutting teeth on the chain.

"Not to be used as a personal flotation device." -- On a 6x10 inch inflatable picture frame.

"Do not put in mouth." -- On a box of bottle rockets.

"Remove plastic before eating." -- On the wrapper of a Fruit Roll-Up snack.

"Not dishwasher safe." -- On a remote control for a TV.

"For lifting purposes only." -- On the box for a car jack.

"Do not put lit candles on phone." -- On the instructions for a cordless phone.

"Warning! This is not underwear! Do not attempt to put in pants." -- On the packaging for a wristwatch

[Phate]

[Reed]

Drive by!

[scibble]

becareful 'fore you entice me to bring out my "Confucius say" jokes!

[peachfuzz]

today is gonna be a looooooooong day.

[Voland]

soccer night

[Skully44420]

Drive by!

is that Ruhl in his bronco?

[Ernst]

Fútbol! Goooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaalllllllllllll!!!!

[Phate]

Fútbol! Goooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaalllllllllllll!!!!

i hate that, especially when there are 2-3 goals in a row and it seems like the dude is saying it for an hour

[Ernst]

Yeah, sometimes I'm forced to watch world cup games on Spanish language TV.

[peachfuzz]

whores...

[scibble]

hey skull, hey veeb

[peachfuzz]

lousy no good whores...

[scibble]

whiner

[scibble]

complainer!

[Ernst]

Who's Afraid of Detroit?

[scibble]

i come back drunk as a skunk

[scibble]

weekend hunt = FaIL!!!!

[Reed]

Its ok scibble I haven't been out in like a month or two. Just hung out with some friends last night and there were no females in sight. AND my love bunny is tripping so hard that it ain't going down anymore so I gotta hunt to

[peachfuzz]

sup reed and scibble. how are your nuts?

[scibble]

thanks a5reed, (*no edit of drunk typing0)

[peachfuzz]

sick in the middle of my cycle reed....can you believe that BS. Here I be on a saturday night.

[scibble]

when i 'm big oligke you the hunt be subb estful!!!

[scibble]

wh y me no get *****at

[scibble]

reedd smack amy nuts damit! but small from jucin so no bidddy biggy

[peachfuzz]

what you drinking scibbles n bits?

[Reed]

that sucks fuzz get you some vit c and UP that DOSE. What you got fever or just feel like shit. Once I get fever its over for me. I'm bed ridden and girls have to go take care of me and drop grapes in my mouth hmmm maybe I should be sick more often jk. I hear you on the saturday I don't go out for shit nowadays. Too focused

[scibble]

tooooo muych tekilya!!!

[scibble]

i drink tequila and wants to wet my dik

[peachfuzz]

Just feel like shit in general. have a fever but not bad. think im gonna be feeling it worse when i wake up in the morning. man my BP is 178/78!!! no wonder i feel like shit....

as far as saturday nights when im on cycle i pretty much lose all my friends for X amount of weeks. Not trying to go out drinking and spending money. usually ill chill with the girl but she had a family party i did not feel like going to.

[peachfuzz]

i drink tequila and wants to wet my dik

[Reed]

Yep cycle= no partying and no drinking. I still hang out just have more self control then most I guess.

Your bp is super high. My shit only went up slightly. Like 100/68 to 125/79

[scibble]

my bp goes up with orals, and i taKE SOME bp lower med

[scibble]

othewrise i get heahdache

[Reed]

I'm taking all the shit I do when I did then prohormones. RYR, Coq-10, and of course my 0megas. Will be taking my liv-52 post cyle

[peachfuzz]

feel like im gonna pop in the gym. cant even finish a set cuz my face is flushing so bad. Id hate to have to quit this cycle early but id rather not have a stroke.

for some reason on cycle i like to isolate myself. Im all about hanging out and having self control. but thats me year round. on cycle id rather just stay home. do things on my terms.

[scibble]

must...pass...out....adoios!

[peachfuzz]

later scibble. enjoy your buzz. i bet that bed (or wherever you pass out) is gonna feel damn good.

[Reed]

I here that. You taking any support supps fuzz. Like I am. Bet that would help. Made a thread wondering why we don't tell people to take support supps like they do prohormones. There is evidence that they work. Obviously it has for me as my bp is excellent off cycle and good on cycle.