'Official Postwhore Thread'

[NATE0406]

was up bro's

sup freak

[Misery13]

how do you fix a womens watch...

you don't there's a clock above the stove...

[DSM4Life]

A guy goes into a bar, orders twelve soda's and starts drinking them as fast as he can. The bartender says, "Dang, why are you drinking so fast?" The guy says, "You would be drinking fast if you had what I had." The bartender says, "What do you have?" The guy says, "75 cents."

[Misery13]

why are womens feet so short...

so they can stand closer to the stove...

[Misery13]

why did the women cross the road...


who care what is she doing out of the kitchen...

[Misery13]

how many women does it take to retile a bathroom...

only one...but you have to slice her real thin...

[Misery13]

how many men does it take to ope a beer bottle...


none...that bitch better have it open before she brings it to me...

[Misery13]

whores...

[Misery13]

be back later for more whoring...

[Dukkit]

hello operator. dial number 9.

[Dukkit]

well my PCT is going well... ive kept about 14 of the 18 pounds i gained. and im going into week 3. i am starting to get a good strong morning wood and boners throughout the day for no reason. so i hope im getting back to normal pretty quick.

[Edgar]

A doctor, a lawyer, a little boy and a priest were out for a Sunday afternoon flight on a small private plane. Suddenly, the plane developed engine trouble.

In spite of the best efforts of the pilot, the plane started to go down. Finally, the pilot grabbed a parachute, yelled to the passengers that they had better jump, and bailed out.

Unfortunately, there were only three parachutes remaining.

The doctor grabbed one and said "I'm a doctor, I save lives, so I must live," and jumped out.

The lawyer then said, "I'm a lawyer and lawyers are the smartest people in the world. I deserve to live."

He also grabbed a parachute and jumped.

The priest looked at the little boy and said, "My son, I've lived a long and full life. You are young and have your whole life ahead of you. Take the last parachute and live in peace."

The little boy handed the parachute back to the priest and said, "Not to worry, Father. The 'smartest man in the world' just took off with my back pack."

[Edgar]

Dear Child,

I am writing this slow because I know that you can't read fast.

We don't live where we did when you left home.

Your dad read in the paper that most accidents happen within 20 miles from your home so we moved.

I won't be able to send you the address, as the last family that lived here took the house numbers when they left so that they wouldn't have to change their address.

This place is real nice. It even has a washing machine. I'm not sure if it works too well though.

Last week I put a load in, pulled the chain, and haven't seen them since.

The weather isn't too bad here., it only rained twice last week, The first time it rained for three days and the second time for four days. The coat you wanted me to send you, your Uncle Steve said it would be a little too heavy to send in the mail with the buttons on, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets. We got another bill from the funeral home.

They said if we don't make the last payment on Grandma's grave, up she comes. John locked his keys in the car yesterday. We were worried because it took him two hours to get me and Shelby out.

Your sister had a baby this morning but I haven't found out what it is yet, so I don't know if you're an aunt or an uncle. If the baby is a girl, your sister is going to name it after me, she's going to call it Mom.

Uncle Pete fell in a whiskey vat last week. Some man tried to pull him out but he fought them off and drowned. We had him cremated and he burned for three days.

Three of your friends went off a bridge in a pick-up truck. Ralph was driving. He rolled down the window and swam to safety. Your two friends were in the back. They drowned because they couldn't get the tailgate down.

There isn't much more news at this time. Nothing much has happened.

PS, I was going to send you some money but the envelope was already sealed.

[Edgar]

A guy goes into a bar, orders twelve soda's and starts drinking them as fast as he can. The bartender says, "Dang, why are you drinking so fast?" The guy says, "You would be drinking fast if you had what I had." The bartender says, "What do you have?" The guy says, "75 cents."

A drunken old man walked into a bar. He yells at the bartender, "Bartender get me a tequila!" The bartender gets him a tequila.

The old man drinks it as fast as he can.

Then he looks around the bar and sees three large men at a table having some beers.

He points at one of them and says "You! I have slept with your mother!" The man looks at the old man then goes about drinking his beer.

Then the old man yells "Bartender! Get me another tequila!"

The bartender gets him another tequila. The old man drinks it as fast as he can.

Then he looks over at the three men. He points at another man and shouts

"You! Your mother gives me a blow job!"

The second man looks at the old man, then goes about drinking his beer.

Then the old man yells "Bartender! Get me another tequila!"

This time the bartender says "No, old man, you have had enough."

"Just one more!!" yells the old man.

So the bartender gets him one more tequila.

The old man drinks it as fast as he can.

Then looks at the three men. He points at the third man and shouts

"You! I eat out your mother!" The third man looks at the old man then looks at the other two men.

All three of them get up and start walking over to the old man.

Then they say "Come on dad, you have had too much to drink..."

[thecivilizedanimal]

sup fruits,

got the day off work , then next week i'm on vacation and the following week i only go in monday and friday

oh **** yeah


can't wait to start my cycle, was gonna do sunday/wed for test but i want to do it now . lololol

[Kratos]

whores, where are you?

[thecivilizedanimal]

sluts ?


ugh have a headacho.. so hot here.
gotta poop

[Kratos]

I gave some cialis to a friend of mine. I told him not to take it unless he's gonna get laid for sure. What does he do? Takes it that day, he's going out to the bar to meet some overweight girl. He fails at getting her into bed. Then he tells me the Cialis didn't work but that he wants more. I think he must have had a really good jerk sescion.

[Dukkit]

whore in attention sir!!!

[Dukkit]

sluts ?


ugh have a headacho.. so hot here.
gotta poop

ditto.

[Dukkit]

blah. is work over yet. i want to go to the gym!!!

[Misery13]

I'm here...whores...

[Misery13]

am I healed yet I want to go to the gym...

[Misery13]

someone heal me...

[Misery13]

446...

[Misery13]

bubbye whores...

[Kratos]

last time I took the cialis, I wasn't sure leaving the apt was an option, I was sporting major wood without even trying.

[Dukkit]

when i take cialis it doesnt give me major wood unless im turned on. which only happens when there is a naked woman in front, underneath or on top of me. so i dont have that problem of not being able to go anywhere cuz your pants are poking other ppl

[Kratos]

just washed my face in the sink and got some soap in my eye

[Dukkit]

aww, thats a poor baby. is your eyeball all red now. looks like your high. in one eye.

kratos... whats going on with donut chica??

[Kratos]

Well, she's impressed with my ability to give up donuts. Always talks to me when I come in, I'm sure more than the average customer. IDK, haven't thought about it much.

[Dukkit]

psh, letting opportunity slip by

[Kratos]

I'm kinda on a hot streak right now, I'll come back to that when things cool down. The back burner. She still see's me everyday. I read this study, the more times you see someone, the more you like them and are attached to them. Even if it's just seeing someone for the second time in the supermarket and you don't talk to them, if they are attractive, you think they are more attractive seeing them the second time. Pretty cool huh?

[Kratos]

crap, I gotta go into surgery

[Dukkit]

I'm kinda on a hot streak right now, I'll come back to that when things cool down. The back burner. She still see's me everyday. I read this study, the more times you see someone, the more you like them and are attached to them. Even if it's just seeing someone for the second time in the supermarket and you don't talk to them, if they are attractive, you think they are more attractive seeing them the second time. Pretty cool huh?

makes alot of sense.

[Dukkit]

crap, I gotta go into surgery

bummer

[Dukkit]

busy weekend ahead. im chilling with my ex from 6-10 tonight. then going to the next town over to stay at this other chicks house (yes i have to schedule them) in the morning im picking up my boy, we are then going to meet up with this other chick who is coming with us to a skateboarding and motorcross demo at king of prussia mall. then sat evening is my cousins graduation party. then sunday is the manayunk bike race. which turns into one big party in the streets.

[thecivilizedanimal]

**** cant believe i got drunk last night and got backtogether with the babymoms,,


oh **** what the **** **** **** shit ****



um......


uh

[JDMSilviaSpecR]

Sup whores, how in the hell did the Lakers lose last night

[Dukkit]

**** cant believe i got drunk last night and got backtogether with the babymoms,,


oh **** what the **** **** **** shit ****



um......


uh

dude... its a vicious cycle aint it? was it good at least?? heheh