Losing my wife

[Stigmata101]

......

[Stigmata101]

Well so far things are going OK....Were goin to counselling regularly....It's a big help

The texts have stopped and have the phone calls....

I guess time will tell, I'd hate to have to post a thread "you guys were right"

[big_ron]

Good to here man....everything can be repaired in time if everyone is working towards the same goal

[Neevor]

Well so far things are going OK....Were goin to counselling regularly....It's a big help

The texts have stopped and have the phone calls....

I guess time will tell, I'd hate to have to post a thread "you guys were right"

I'm glad to hear that.

My gf said that chicks like your wife don't usually bail on their relationship emotionally like that unless there is something missing from the one they have. Were you not pressent in the relationship for a while or something? Or did she really just lose it for a while?

[lovbyts]

I'm glad to hear that.

My gf said that chicks like your wife don't usually bail on their relationship emotionally like that unless there is something missing from the one they have. Were you not pressent in the relationship for a while or something? Or did she really just lose it for a while?

I disagree and women LOVE to use that excuse. Plenty are just looking for something new, something better, exciting or the grass is always greener.

Women do not usually bail on a relationship until they are sure they have another one to jump into....

I wish you luck with the counseling. It didnt help with me because the counselor told my wife she was fvcking up and it was her fault. LOL She didnt like him anymore even though it was her counselor LONG before I knew her.

[D3m3nt3d]

I disagree and women LOVE to use that excuse. Plenty are just looking for something new, something better, exciting or the grass is always greener.

Exactly my friend. Some women lose interest, such as my wife - no matter how great they had it. In my case, I was the best husband, best father, best lover etc...but then she lost all intimacy towards me. I don't mean just the sex, I mean most affection altogether. Anytime there was a kiss, minus the 'goodnight' kiss, it was always me who did it. There was never any passion behind it, rarely did she ever want to hold hands, only on 'good days', very little cuddling etc..

There was no life changing experience in our marriage to cause this. I was told she was catch and release, and was known to be happy as ever at one point, then the next point, it all be over with. I think my wife suffers from narcisissm disorder, which is probably related to her childhood of abuse, cheating, neglect etc...Problem I could never understand is, if it has affected you so bad, why would you put others, including your own children, through it. Accept you have a problem and try to get help.

[MBMETC]

What ever happened to a woman being faithful and waiting for her man to come home from from work even if it meant weeks at a time.i know this aint the fuc***g 1800's but come on she cant wait 4 days.looks like when u come home from work you have to hit that shit like 2 times a day until she cant take it anymore or u can do it twice but make sure you hold her after and tell her u love her thats what she wants from you..or bounce and fu** that hoe

[D3m3nt3d]

What ever happened to a woman being faithful and waiting for her man to come home from from work even if it meant weeks at a time.i know this aint the fuc***g 1800's but come on she cant wait 4 days.looks like when u come home from work you have to hit that shit like 2 times a day until she cant take it anymore or u can do it twice but make sure you hold her after and tell her u love her thats what she wants from you..or bounce and fu** that hoe

Too much about partying/drinking/money/fake tits etc these days

[foxycce]

Uh go UFC style on hime! make him tapout

[DOM6]

lol is this a joke?
Bro grab your flat screens and bail

[maxdose]

Im getting on this one late-but your wife needs to be an ex-wife.
She's cheating bro....no ****ing doubt...my ex did the same exact thing with a ****ing baseball player...7 years of my life wasted .... I had all sorts of suspicious shit like your story too...she said 'hes just a friend'.
After we seperated I took the house comp (**** I paid for it) one day I stumbled on a second email acct that she had created under her maiden name.
The comp cookies had the password saved and I opened it- she had been cheating on me since the 1st year of our relationship. They had been seeing each other the whole time- in fact he broke it off with her and thats when she started hounding me to marry her...after we were married she started it back up-asked me for a divorce made up some shit about AAS use blah blah (she knew about it from day 1) so I just told her I thought she was full of it, 7 months later I found those emails back n forth from them and they had been ****ing for years-I was pissed and all I could think was I should have ditched the whore after the second year when I suspected she may be ****ing around- kicked myself for wasting 5 more years on that idiot.
Trust me- shes making you miserable- thats not love- shes a peice of garbage- dump her divorce her and if you can first catch her lying ass.
Then find someone who loves you and appreciates you bro...I did.

[Gears]

Im getting on this one late-but your wife needs to be an ex-wife.
She's cheating bro....no ****ing doubt...my ex did the same exact thing with a ****ing baseball player...7 years of my life wasted .... I had all sorts of suspicious shit like your story too...she said 'hes just a friend'.
After we seperated I took the house comp (**** I paid for it) one day I stumbled on a second email acct that she had created under her maiden name.
The comp cookies had the password saved and I opened it- she had been cheating on me since the 1st year of our relationship. They had been seeing each other the whole time- in fact he broke it off with her and thats when she started hounding me to marry her...after we were married she started it back up-asked me for a divorce made up some shit about AAS use blah blah (she knew about it from day 1) so I just told her I thought she was full of it, 7 months later I found those emails back n forth from them and they had been ****ing for years-I was pissed and all I could think was I should have ditched the whore after the second year when I suspected she may be ****ing around- kicked myself for wasting 5 more years on that idiot.
Trust me- shes making you miserable- thats not love- shes a peice of garbage- dump her divorce her and if you can first catch her lying ass.
Then find someone who loves you and appreciates you bro...I did.

The mans right, show some self-respect and do both of you a favor. Trust me, she isn't going to be happy in the relationship and it's going to make you miserable. Think with your head not with the emotional pain, it's easy to make completely irrational decisions to try and make the pain stop. It's a chemical addiction in your brain, so no, it wont be easy, but you gotta let go.

Otherwise it to me looks like you are just setting youself up for a big fall, i've seen this before a few times and it never ends pretty.

[big_ron]

whats happening these days?

[NMacFar]

Any updates?

[big_ron]

hope everything is sweet!

[Failure]

Good luck.

[4love]

wow, sorry for ur pain.
*having been cheated on, and cheated as well, also being a councelor, I would like 2 offer some advice...

any form of threat or violance will back fire, and give them a common enemy, possibly land u in jail, cost u money...and make u look like a total tool. (realy, we r adults here)

she cheated, yup....happenis 2 us all and we all do it 2 others. doesnt make her a crappy person, or u, if u decide 2 stay w her. It just means ur relationships in crisis and its time 2 man up and face the reasons y she is unhappy enuff 2 let another man mean anything 2 her.

sounds 2 me like what ever u 2 had...is gone 4 her.
You can most certainly get it and her back, u just need 2 clearify 2 urself wether u serioiusly want tha,t than dedicate urself 2 it.

We ladyz need a lot of verbal communication (what ever ur love language is...amp up the conversations with her). it has 2 become ur job 2 reminder her what she loves about u...she 4got, u wernt around 2 show her or communicate with her.

explain how u feel (slowly an calmly an quitely =this will make her pay attention and focus on what ur saying)
explain y u think u feel this way (DONT at any point state that she made u feel this way...or she will close off eveything else said, c u as a selfish prick and become defensive)
and what ur intentions r now (ex. i want us 2 comit 2 us and I need ur imput cuz its our relationship and we need 2 fix this 2 gether) or (ex. i cant move past ur betrail, i am sorry what we had was not what u needed...this is now my plan 2 leave this relationship bhind me...)

once u have had the chance 2 get it all out, u can move 4ward. Dont bring it up again with her, but...
she will want 2 talk alot about the pit falls that drove u guys here...just nod, repeat her, agree with her.......(its our way of processing our feelings and thoughts) she already knows that what she did was shitty and she was wrong 2 do it, u dont need 2 remind her. she will realy admirer u 4 listening, not making her feel like crap and and she will start 2 c u 4 who u r instead of an angry man. (cuz how can u work on a future with some1 when u think they hate u and r angry with u...)

think about it
maybe try it
what ever u do....
do what is best 4 u

best of luck and love

[D3m3nt3d]

wow, sorry for ur pain.
*having been cheated on, and cheated as well, also being a councelor, I would like 2 offer some advice...

any form of threat or violance will back fire, and give them a common enemy, possibly land u in jail, cost u money...and make u look like a total tool. (realy, we r adults here)

she cheated, yup....happenis 2 us all and we all do it 2 others. doesnt make her a crappy person, or u, if u decide 2 stay w her. It just means ur relationships in crisis and its time 2 man up and face the reasons y she is unhappy enuff 2 let another man mean anything 2 her.

sounds 2 me like what ever u 2 had...is gone 4 her.
You can most certainly get it and her back, u just need 2 clearify 2 urself wether u serioiusly want tha,t than dedicate urself 2 it.

We ladyz need a lot of verbal communication (what ever ur love language is...amp up the conversations with her). it has 2 become ur job 2 reminder her what she loves about u...she 4got, u wernt around 2 show her or communicate with her.

explain how u feel (slowly an calmly an quitely =this will make her pay attention and focus on what ur saying)
explain y u think u feel this way (DONT at any point state that she made u feel this way...or she will close off eveything else said, c u as a selfish prick and become defensive)
and what ur intentions r now (ex. i want us 2 comit 2 us and I need ur imput cuz its our relationship and we need 2 fix this 2 gether) or (ex. i cant move past ur betrail, i am sorry what we had was not what u needed...this is now my plan 2 leave this relationship bhind me...)

once u have had the chance 2 get it all out, u can move 4ward. Dont bring it up again with her, but...
she will want 2 talk alot about the pit falls that drove u guys here...just nod, repeat her, agree with her.......(its our way of processing our feelings and thoughts) she already knows that what she did was shitty and she was wrong 2 do it, u dont need 2 remind her. she will realy admirer u 4 listening, not making her feel like crap and and she will start 2 c u 4 who u r instead of an angry man. (cuz how can u work on a future with some1 when u think they hate u and r angry with u...)

think about it
maybe try it
what ever u do....
do what is best 4 u

best of luck and love

This does not work if you have a wife thats bi-polar or suffers obviously from something because of her scarred childhood. In her moments of weakness she will tell me that she will probably never be happy. She doesn't mean she isn't a good person, she said she means as far as her relationships are concerned and it's probably due to how she is raised. She refuses medicine, she refuses therapy.

Since she has left me, she is now a nurse and her family after 26 yrs seem to accept her and be proud of her, even tho they never did SHIT to help us. Think thats going to have a positive affect on her relationships? I say no. Not until she accepts she needs some kind of help. Everything she wants, or you do for her causes a temporary happiness. Even our new place we got months before she left, she had to have it, loved it all for like 3 months then couldn't stand it.

[Misery13]

I guess I forgot to mention, we did get a marriage counsellor a few days after I went to the hospital.....She said she wants to make it work, and that she loves me but shes not in love with me.

Lies...lies...lies...divorce her...you deserve better...especially if you want kids...you stability and trust and you don't have either.

[Ishallnocheatmyself]

****.. i can relate but not on the cheating part.. me and my girl have been together since aug 07 and last christmas we had a point where she said she didnt feel the same way about me anymore like when we met. *i knew, the new wore off iwas getting boring" so the next day i did something different i picked her up from school * 50 miles away* took her out made her favourite meal favourite everything.
we had a good cry after lunch and talked it out.. i understood where she was coming from from the not new anymore but wasnt as sevre as her.. so i told her i lovre her with all my heard and would do anything for her, she was my one true love and that id always take care of her no matter what we talked about our rut we were in and made a list of 20 reasons each why we want to be together and stay together and things we like about eachother and remmeber. That was a rrrrreally good day it was like a new start, we decided to start doing more of other stuff together like sports.. cooking fun shit not just sit around go to movies and eat lol. We were too close honustly like saw eachother every day atlerast once.

now we are very strong and she keeps teeling me how she is so sorry she ever felt that way and that the love is stronger than ever and she would do anything for me.

so obviously love has the chance to restart but now i face the problem of being away for 5 days a week and when i get home she misses me so bad its like love x10.

[Ishallnocheatmyself]

communication is key, if u hense any more bullshit or shes not being honust with you how can you be happy|?

[lovbyts]

This does not work if you have a wife thats bi-polar or suffers obviously from something because of her scarred childhood. In her moments of weakness she will tell me that she will probably never be happy. She doesn't mean she isn't a good person, she said she means as far as her relationships are concerned and it's probably due to how she is raised. She refuses medicine, she refuses therapy.

Since she has left me, she is now a nurse and her family after 26 yrs seem to accept her and be proud of her, even tho they never did SHIT to help us. Think thats going to have a positive affect on her relationships? I say no. Not until she accepts she needs some kind of help. Everything she wants, or you do for her causes a temporary happiness. Even our new place we got months before she left, she had to have it, loved it all for like 3 months then couldn't stand it.

Wow, you just described my 2nd wife. After our divorce she did admit it was ALL her fault. Bi Polar is a BAD thing and worse when they wont admit they have a problem or take medication.

Yes an update is needed....

[40plusnewbie]

Hope things work out for the best for you bro. I was on the road to divorce (per my choice) but agreed to go to couples counseling. My relationship with my wife has changed for the better tremendously. She no longer nags or outbursts at all. We communicate better. She is more supportive and understanding. Looks like I went from certain divorce and planned move to Vegas to saying here with my wife. I didn't think she would respond to counseling or take responsibility for her messed up behavior but she did. She has learned to listen and be patient and calm. She has learned to the notion of sometimes agreeing to disagree rather than trying to force her way/plan.

I am really, really surprised that less than a dozen counseling sessions has almost completely turned our relationship around for the better. Things are not perfect but now my wife can calmly discuss concerns and disagreements rather than ranting and all that crap. I'm proud of how much she has changed.

I do miss the hell out of having sex with lots of different women though, especially the excitement of one night stands. I'm not the type to cheat so I guess I have to be more assertive in getting her to try different things in bed for greater variety since I can't get the variety of a different chick every other weekend.....

[D3m3nt3d]

Wow, you just described my 2nd wife. After our divorce she did admit it was ALL her fault. Bi Polar is a BAD thing and worse when they wont admit they have a problem or take medication.

Yes an update is needed....

Her family Dr diagnosed her as bi-polar just based off her saying she had highs and lows or some shit like that. Not that I disagree, but she does. Anyway there is something wrong inside of her for her to not have the ability to be happy with anyone. I mean from the minute we started dating I was the greatest thing she could ever ask for, but so was everybody else probably.

I think she is bi-polar, definitely. I also think a lot of her problems stem from her neglected childhood, and abuse, cheating etc. Nowadays she has her 'dream job', and her father who never had shit to do with her, he actually does now. They have helped her quite a bit since the separation. However, I don't expect this to make her relationships happy, as she just gets bored. Plain and simple. I used our new home as an example. Then there was church, she HAD to find a good church to go to, we did, and she loved it. She would take sermons home and listen to them on CD etc...it lasted about 4 months, and no more church. It just seems there is something really missing inside of her.

[Dominant Gene]

i know emotions can be crippling, but COME ON!!! find that guy ***k him up. make it so he has to shit in a bag for the rest of his days and as for your disloyal slag of a wife. Grow some balls man where is your self respect? she is as we say in the UK "mugging you off m8" bin her and get a woman who's not a cheating whore. Get a woman who actually loves you.

[stack_it]

i know emotions can be crippling, but COME ON!!! find that guy ***k him up. make it so he has to shit in a bag for the rest of his days and as for your disloyal slag of a wife. Grow some balls man where is your self respect? she is as we say in the UK "mugging you off m8" bin her and get a woman who's not a cheating whore. Get a woman who actually loves you.

Do you enjoy giving advice in threads that have ended months ago?

Do you live your sorry little life the same way and talk about the death of Elvis or assassination of Kennedy like it happened yesterday all while dressed like your headed to the 69 Woodstock?


You suck as a member of this board and probably as a member of society aswell.

[bruary17]

All the "beat his ass comments are retarded" The guy is a scumbag to get involved with a married woman thats for certain, but you beating his ass will get you into trouble and also sink you right down to his level. We're grown ups, not 4th graders. Handle this situation with class and dignity.

The I love him but I'm not "in" love with him comment is not good.

You need to sit her down and ask her........Do you want to be with me for the rest of your life? Do you want to be in love with me?

Give her a couple days to really think about that, if the answer is yes,
You need to rewind back to the day you first met this girl, bring back the spontanuity, the crazyness, the fun of a relationship in it's first stages...but most importantly, be there emotionlly for her, you said you havn't been for the past year so you have some work to do on yourself to make that happen.

Although I don't condone any type of cheating and she was 100% wrong.....she was looking for something you we're not providing.......like Jaime Lee Curtis in True Lies....remember?

I wish you the best my friend, but be tall, strong and confident toward her though out this whole...tell her what she did cut you deep, but you take some of the responsibility....and you want to make it right.....if she had sex with him tho.....thatis the ultimate betrayel in my book...and she deserves no second chance...a lot of guys have been where you are now. Feel your pain buddy...keep your head up and be POSITIVE!

[bruary17]

you mean to tell me i just spent 30 min typing on an old ass thread? I suck at life......

[calgarian]

damn newbies

[stack_it]

you mean to tell me i just spent 30 min typing on an old ass thread? I suck at life......

I baked you a cake

[D3m3nt3d]

Do you enjoy giving advice in threads that have ended months ago?

Do you live your sorry little life the same way and talk about the death of Elvis or assassination of Kennedy like it happened yesterday all while dressed like your headed to the 69 Woodstock?


You suck as a member of this board and probably as a member of society aswell.

[DSM4Life]

Im getting on this one late-but your wife needs to be an ex-wife.
She's cheating bro....no ****ing doubt...my ex did the same exact thing with a ****ing baseball player...7 years of my life wasted .... I had all sorts of suspicious shit like your story too...she said 'hes just a friend'.
After we seperated I took the house comp (**** I paid for it) one day I stumbled on a second email acct that she had created under her maiden name.
The comp cookies had the password saved and I opened it- she had been cheating on me since the 1st year of our relationship. They had been seeing each other the whole time- in fact he broke it off with her and thats when she started hounding me to marry her...after we were married she started it back up-asked me for a divorce made up some shit about AAS use blah blah (she knew about it from day 1) so I just told her I thought she was full of it, 7 months later I found those emails back n forth from them and they had been ****ing for years-I was pissed and all I could think was I should have ditched the whore after the second year when I suspected she may be ****ing around- kicked myself for wasting 5 more years on that idiot.
Trust me- shes making you miserable- thats not love- shes a peice of garbage- dump her divorce her and if you can first catch her lying ass.
Then find someone who loves you and appreciates you bro...I did.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4R5NQPdi42w







This goes for all you guys who have been cheating on. Beating up the guy is the dumbest thing possible. Did he cheat sure but your girl is the whore. Be mad at her not the other guy/girl. Shes the one that put his c0ck in her mouth then came home for you to kiss.

[Dominant Gene]

@ stack it. **** you! im intitled to my opion, its easy to give it large on a forum SI, but in reality i imagine your just a say whatever type of person to fit in. i dont do that i have my own mind. but you are right on one thing i did find this thread l8 so my comments probably are l too late to matter. as for the death of elvis (definately not a fan) i dont see how you can compare that to the death of a world leader who actually made a diference to the world we live in you mug!

[calgarian]

****Calgarian grab popcorns and watch the drama thats about to start....

[Standby]

****Calgarian grab popcorns and watch the drama thats about to start....

* Standby asks if you will share

[calgarian]

* Standby asks if you will share

*****Calgarian pass over pop corn to SB

[stack_it]

@ stack it. **** you! im intitled to my opion, its easy to give it large on a forum SI, but in reality i imagine your just a say whatever type of person to fit in. i dont do that i have my own mind. but you are right on one thing i did find this thread l8 so my comments probably are l too late to matter. as for the death of elvis (definately not a fan) i dont see how you can compare that to the death of a world leader who actually made a diference to the world we live in you mug!

You should have read enough old threads by now to realize I have my own opinions and don't jus follow. I don't really see how you could say that from my post towards you considering nobody in here has said it before me. Unless someone called you out in another thread about it. If that's the case it just helps prove my point that your posts are useless and your old thread bumping is annoying. If anyone in here was just saying what others say just to fit in it's you your post just repeated what half the members in here said before you posted. Bruary wasted 30 minutes posting in here all because of your useless bump

Your comprehension skills must really suck aswell if you think I was comparing elvis and Kennedy. No where did I compare the two.

You are definitely entitled to your own opinion just as much as I am. Why not just post it in threads where your opinion would actually matter.

Btw who calls somebody a mug?

[calgarian]

** Calgarian whispers to SB....hey stack_it got called mug filled with pee

[stack_it]

** Stack_it over hears calgarians whisper and chuckles at the being called a mug....

** grabs handful of popcorn...

[Standby]

** Calgarian whispers to SB....hey stack_it got called mug filled with pee

* Standby tries to hold in this laugh but starts to cry from laughing to hard

if only he got called a donkey instead