a real ? from a girl looking in..

[SexySweetheart]

So as a gal, I cannot help but notice during my time here on the boards that 1.there are alotta guys here that struggle with relationships or maintaining them 2. The guys are more so super charged /focused on the visualization excitement form a young/ fit gal

...and so I can’t help but wonder ~ have you guys ever considered that your emotional /relationship health maybe put on the back burner in the efforts to find a sexy chick that keeps you excited even at a low test level?
Like do you think you’re so focused on how she looks that you keep setting yourself up for disappointment love/relationship/emotional security wise?

What’s more important to you... a hott mess with drama games issues or a girl next door with less of a hassle?




I understand that we take care if ourselves and are hyper aware of fitness and the way our bodies look and so expect a partner that’s understanding of this and hopefully on the same page to some degree... if not the intensity of yourself...

[Renesis]

Men have and always will be visual creatures. For me when I see a physically attractive girl it is like one of those guinness commercials where the pupils dilate, the nose expands and all the senses are heightened (weird alcohol commercial). It is like it puts me on the edge or something IDK, but then again I am also almost attracted to anything from hot to girl next door O_O. I mean whats the point of dating someone for their personality if they don't keep you excited in the bed? Also I have never met a girl without issues/drama and I have tried dating girls that are not lookers, it seems everyone is messed up in some way.

[SexySweetheart]

Men have and always will be visual creatures. For me when I see a physically attractive girl it is like one of those guinness commercials where the pupils dilate, the nose expands and all the senses are heightened (weird alcohol commercial). It is like it puts me on the edge or something IDK, but then again I am also almost attracted to anything from hot to girl next door O_O. I mean whats the point of dating someone for their personality if they don't keep you excited in the bed? Also I have never met a girl without issues/drama and I have tried dating girls that are not lookers, it seems everyone is messed up in some way.

ok, i hear that ... and well agree we all have our issues, true.

I think remebering most of the threads, I picture a typical thin party gal an the issues that follow ~ compaired to a typical home family gal with mainstream girly issues...is what I ment

...and does it realy take the modern model size 2 looks to get a guy excited in bed? is the maralin monroe volumptios size 12 utterly unbareable?

[Renesis]

Actually I dislike the 2... I would love to have maralins legs wrapped around me O_O

[AD]

when i was younger, with raging hormones, it was the hotter the better, and the more the merrier.

now, old and wrinkled, stability is best.

at different stages of your life, people look for different things. cant say who is right or who is wrong, just different

[Dr Pepper]

Everybody has drama's at some point in there life... So especially if your a bit older and meeting guys/girls you have to expect that the person you meet will have something in there past, which I think is normal. Although some people play on it more than others.

Everyone's differant but for me I would have to say i would go for the hot gym girl over the girl next door. Because training/dieting is such a big part of my life I would find it hard to be with a girl that had no interest in the gym.

[Razor]

All girls suck and they will break you heart..from here on out I will never get involved with a girl other than sex...other then that it always ends badly one for party

[lovbyts]

Visually 1st look/lust is one thing but for me the personality, clicking and getting along means a LOT more than just looks. I though wife #2 was very sexy although she was not the typical petite type I like. She was 5' 6' 140 lbs.

I have reverted back to my old ways and the current one is 5' 3' 105.

For me physically hot/sexy only last so long and after that I need a good mental, physiological relationship with someone or I'm just not interested. I dont care how hot/sexy someone looks if I'm not emotionally attracted to them I'm not physically attracted.

[Flier]

I´ve been so focused on appearance all my life it hurts. And it´s so ridiculous. But how do I change....?
I find only a very small % of the female population attractive/sexy. Imagine if I could look right through appearance and to personality....OMG, I would have a sea of women to choose from.
Just discussed this with a good friend yesterday, how easier life would be if we could be like those "other men" who has the "right" focus.
I really would love to change.
Maybe this would also mean a change in the way I have sex. Have sex with my heart instead of my mind. Right now my sex is very visual.

On a encouraging note. I´ve imagined my GF 50 lbs heavier, and I really can´t perceive me being less attracted to her. Her taste, smell, skin, breath, would all be the same, just more of it. I feel like crawling inside her skin sometimes. I´ve told her so as well, that she don´t have to worry about staying on weight, or looking pretty for me. My attraction to her is on a strange past life/soul level, as I actually don´t care for her personality in many ways.

[xelnaga]

I don't let appearance override my need for emotional connection in a girlfriend.

[evander87]

So as a gal, I cannot help but notice during my time here on the boards that 1.there are alotta guys here that struggle with relationships or maintaining them 2. The guys are more so super charged /focused on the visualization excitement form a young/ fit gal

Because the guys that aren't having relationship problems aren't starting threads titled "my love life is just fine. Just wanted to share." lol

[DSM4Life]

Because the guys that aren't having relationship problems aren't starting threads titled "my love life is just fine. Just wanted to share." lol

ROFL, so true.

[ghettoboyd]

i think its sad that you young bro's have been tainted so early in your lives that you write of the thought of love or marrige...i realize i was lucky to have truely found my soulmate cus not everbody does...but if you never give it a chance then down the road i promise you you will have regret....im not shure what the op's ? was but for the record i married a girl next door type and am still crazy about her to this day 18yrs later...i couldent be happier, she rocks my world....

[oatmeal69]

All girls suck and they will break you heart..

Exactly, so why settle for a non-looker on top of it?
I have dated some that aren't head-turners. I assure you the heartbreak they bring hurts just as bad.

[xelnaga]

Because the guys that aren't having relationship problems aren't starting threads titled "my love life is just fine. Just wanted to share." lol

I love it when someone comes along and offers perfect clarity!

[Times Roman]

the older i get, the more i realize I'd rather have a woman that has my back, not a drama queen, and eager to please. Plus she has to love to ride, hang out in sleezy biker bars, no smoking, no drugs (or very very seldom), and easy to look at.

Although I remember to have the same perspective 30 years ago as I do now, that perspective wasn't backed by life experience at the time, so i did go for some that were more high maintenance "shiney wrapping paper" and not enough "goodies in the box" type.

[gixxerboy1]

a girl im friends with just did a poll like this on facebook. Would you rather have a crazy 10 or cute girl that treats you good?

sorry looks are very important to me. I have to get along with the person also. So no i dont want the size 2. I want the size 0

[BrownGirl]

i think its sad that you young bro's have been tainted so early in your lives that you write of the thought of love or marrige...i realize i was lucky to have truely found my soulmate cus not everbody does...but if you never give it a chance then down the road i promise you you will have regret....im not shure what the op's ? was but for the record i married a girl next door type and am still crazy about her to this day 18yrs later...i couldent be happier, she rocks my world....

Awww...that's so sweet!!

[SexySweetheart]

All girls suck and they will break you heart..from here on out I will never get involved with a girl other than sex...other then that it always ends badly one for party

lol...awwwww poor razr...*huggs*

[SexySweetheart]

I´ve been so focused on appearance all my life it hurts. And it´s so ridiculous. But how do I change....?
I find only a very small % of the female population attractive/sexy. Imagine if I could look right through appearance and to personality....OMG, I would have a sea of women to choose from.Just discussed this with a good friend yesterday, how easier life would be if we could be like those "other men" who has the "right" focus.
I really would love to change.
Maybe this would also mean a change in the way I have sex. Have sex with my heart instead of my mind. Right now my sex is very visual.

On a encouraging note. I´ve imagined my GF 50 lbs heavier, and I really can´t perceive me being less attracted to her. Her taste, smell, skin, breath, would all be the same, just more of it. I feel like crawling inside her skin sometimes. I´ve told her so as well, that she don´t have to worry about staying on weight, or looking pretty for me. My attraction to her is on a strange past life/soul level, as I actually don´t care for her personality in many ways.

this reminds me of a movie with Gwenith paltro...cant remember the name of it rite now...

thats is the weirdest funnyest thing I have ever heard from a guy about his gal ..lol so funny that yu know this sbout you/her and yet still you crave her * I just pressed the "LIKE" button lol

[Flier]

[/U]this reminds me of a movie with Gwenith paltro...cant remember the name of it rite now...

thats is the weirdest funnyest thing I have ever heard from a guy about his gal ..lol so funny that yu know this sbout you/her and yet still you crave her * I just pressed the "LIKE" button lol

Haha...yes funny movie.

My GF (back on again....) is a cocky, needy, opinionated, vain, Latina Drama-queen, and an Alpha-woman to top it off.
Not my type at all.
But when we meet, the curtain goes down, and all that dissipates because our chemistry is so strong. A deep chemistry, which feels centuries old.

[SexySweetheart]

i think its sad that you young bro's have been tainted so early in your lives that you write of the thought of love or marrige...i realize i was lucky to have truely found my soulmate cus not everbody does...but if you never give it a chance then down the road i promise you you will have regret....im not shure what the op's ? was but for the record i married a girl next door type and am still crazy about her to this day 18yrs later...i couldent be happier, she rocks my world....

LOVE HEARING MEN RAVE ABOUT THEIR GALS and the bliss they have with them! Thank you for sharing ghetto!

[jimmyinkedup]

I had to check ....for a minute I thought I was mistakenly redirected to Cosmopolitan's web forum when I clicked on this thread.

To seriously respond to the thread I havent found it all that exceptionally difficult to find both qualities in women. Also when the emotional attachment grows its amazing how the person miraculously becomes that much more physically attractive. Go figure.

[frank13]

i like hookers

[Honkey_Kong]

i like hookers

They are cheaper than girlfriends. But, if you keep banging them, you're going to end up with some nasty STD (not that you can't get one from a girlfriend).

[JohnnyVegas]

In the past, I have been attracted to two kinds of women: batshit crazy hot chicks that I shouldn't be involved with and virginal cute girls that I couldn't be involved with. Dating one kept me craving sanity, the other left me wanting sex. No win situation.

Luckily I also like the geeky girl, which my wife is in spades (and I mean that in a good way). Very intelligent, highly educated, independent, responsible and incredibly sane. We accidentally fell for each other quickly and it has been nearly perfect ever since. Hell, we didn't even date because she was renting a floor in my house and she started spending the night in my room every night...which meant we went from friends to living together in a matter of two weeks. Luckily, every day have been great for seven years.

I have learned the key is compatibility. Not hotness (not saying attractiveness isn't important). Keep dating until you find someone that you stay up till 2am talking too. Make sure that you don't fight - because fighting is a symptom of incompatibility. It doesn't matter who is right and who is wrong...the important thing is that you are incompatible and will break up in the future. Do it before you have kids.

[Honkey_Kong]

This will revoke the "inner beauty" argument chicks like to argue.

Would anyone here fall in love with or bang this chick sober?



Maybe you could be her friend, but I seriously doubt without a few 5ths of Jack any of you would ever bang her.

[frank13]

OMG i just throw up in my mouth

[Coolhand5599]

So as a gal, I cannot help but notice during my time here on the boards that 1.there are alotta guys here that struggle with relationships or maintaining them 2. The guys are more so super charged /focused on the visualization excitement form a young/ fit gal

...and so I can’t help but wonder ~ have you guys ever considered that your emotional /relationship health maybe put on the back burner in the efforts to find a sexy chick that keeps you excited even at a low test level?
Like do you think you’re so focused on how she looks that you keep setting yourself up for disappointment love/relationship/emotional security wise?

What’s more important to you... a hott mess with drama games issues or a girl next door with less of a hassle?




I understand that we take care if ourselves and are hyper aware of fitness and the way our bodies look and so expect a partner that’s understanding of this and hopefully on the same page to some degree... if not the intensity of yourself...

So true, you must keep in mind the surrounding. Most of the men on this site are just as superficial on thier own appearance. Not all men are like this. If you are looking for a meaningful relationship with a total beefcake hunk then ou are setting yourself up for disappointment. Just as much as the men looking for a playmate will be disappointed.

[cherrydrpepper]

I have a friend who is good looking enough to model, one of the best looking guys on the planet. He's been with over a 100 women and hes finally settling down. He's banged girls in all kinds of situations. He's banged stuff I wouldn't date. He's banged stuff I would marry. He's banged girls who said "you're cute lets f". What ive figured out is I love my boy but people like him mess it up for the rest of us. There are a lot of men and women both who have no clue what league they are playing in because they met someone like this guy who gave them the night of their life.

You know what the biggest tragedy in this life is? Its someone who won't play ball in their league. I see these people every day. Every day of my life. They are in my extended family. They are at my workplace. They are at the supermarket they are everywhere. The first thing you think is "there isn't enough liquor in this bar to make me bang that". But time and time again you will find that these people will only flirt with sterotypically good looking people. So why is this a tragedy? Because these people are alone for decades and sometimes a lifetime. Instead of accepting they are horse faced or whatever, they will subconsciously choose to be alone. Some of them become drug dealers and doctors and get laid through that or whatever. Then there are the people that theres nothing really wrong with, they just need to work out but won't. I am absolutely surrounded by these people. They infuriate me. I invite them to the gym and nothing. So here they are, they have moles that could be removed, they have a gut they could work off, they have a fat face that shakes when they talk, but hang out with them a little and you find they absolutely will not ever flirt with anything remotely in the same league as themselves. And im not saying this against people born with a disability or a disfigurement. I'd like to think those people find each other or find others who have had similar life experiences. I'm talking about average Joe people who just aren't attractive and don't do anything to change that but expect to be with someone good looking someday.

Ok enough rambling back to your question. Women are as bad as men. Show me different. You can't because this is a myth stereotype that men are pigs and women are ladies. A Haz looking mfkr can hit the club and bang a different girl every night because women are vain pieces of crap just like men that want the muscle guy with the cute face. Meanwhile the guy in their real league is getting passed over until they have been screwed over enough times to come down to that level.

[cherrydrpepper]

[JohnnyVegas]

That video got hilarious at 2:53

[Razor]

Relationships suck, theres no point in them. After sex what is there?

[canadian-bacon]

Relationships suck, theres no point in them. After sex what is there?

Unless she will make a sandwich.

[BrownGirl]

Relationships suck, theres no point in them. After sex what is there?

Oh Razr... I thought you really like this new girlfriend! What happened?

[Hazard]

Idunno where to start......

Not everyone wants to be married..... not everyone NEEDS to be in a relationship. When we break it down to the biological level we weren't meant to settle down with just one partner. Yes.... evolution may be changing that but you can't tell me out of ALLLLLL the people on this planet..... you wouldn't have been just as happy with another human being as the current person you are married to or are with. How many times have we said "I love you" or thought we were in love..... how many people have married their solemate..... became widowers..... then found another great person and got married again?

In regards to myself..... I've had some really great relationships. It just didn't work for the two of us.... no hard feelings. I've also had TONS of bad relationships...... totaly crazy women. I'm sorry..... especially if you are an ugly duckling..... but I WILL NOT be with someone whom I'm not attracted to. Wont doit..... I can't. I just can't look at a pig and say "awwww she's a sweet girl..... I'll overlook her crooked teeth..... or her big nose..... or her muffin top all because she has a great personality" - truth is..... when shes naked in bed and I'm looking at her.... I want to be VISUALLY turned on.

I'll lay the pipe to hot women everyday of the week..... but I WONT get into a relationship with just anyone. She has to have substance for me to be anything other than her one night stand or FWB. If she's a fvckin moron then I wont be anything more than visually attracted and that doesn't work for me because eventually it wont matter how hot she is..... I'll get tired of it.

I met a GREAT girl not that long ago..... she has a great job, a great ass, she doesn't use drugs and she's into working out...... she's also spanish I can see myself really having a great relationship with her but I'm just getting out of a horrible marriage with a 4month old daughter..... I don't want to jump into anything that serious just yet. She knows my situation..... and she understands..... can't ask for anything more.

Lastly..... CDP is pretty on point IMO. You can date "down" but dating "up" isn't that easy. If you aren't the best looking person and you want to hold out for a perfect 10 that likes your personality and overlooks the gut and stretch marks then thats your choice. MOST people are superficial to some extent..... we've all seen "That" guy or girl..... we've all seen people who have grossed us out a bit. You have to honestly evaluate yourself.... look hard in the mirror..... it doesn't lie. Also.... different people have different tastes. There may be some women out there that like certain looks.... you never know. There's plenty of women who don't like muscular guys..... hell.... my fvckin wife was one of em.

I could go on and on but I'll stop for now..... heh

~Haz~

[songdog]

I just do as my wife says that way I dont get my ass beat

[Far from massive]

I agree with your post 100% most AAS types are so consumed with image, both our own and that of our sex partners that we are forever doomed to dissapointment. That is a young girl with a smoking hot body is not likely to cause long term happiness in a relationship with an older guy. The sad thing is that a lot of guys suffer from swollen egos and evision themselves in ways others are not likely to.

Luckily for me even at 50 plus I am so freaking good looking, oversexed, well hung and sexually skilled that any 20yr old hardbodied hottie who crosses paths with me will soon forget about young millonaire doctors, rock stars etc, hell even lesbians who sleep with me are forever uninterested in sex with women and will find vibrators a waste of batteries. So while this problem obviously does not apply to me it must be really tough for those who do see themselves differently than others do......

In all seriousness though, back in my 30s I used to get into relationships with young girls (17-22) all the time and did pretty well in the bedroom aspect, but gave it up as the rest of the relationship was pretty unfulfilling.

Now on the other hand if any 20-30 yr olds are interested in a sex only relationship with an older guy by all means hit me up ;-)

[BrownGirl]

We women are pretty superficial too...I don't think it's solely a male thing. I guess it's human nature.

[Hazard]

We women are pretty superficial too...I don't think it's solely a male thing. I guess it's human nature.

Exactly.....

Women are just as bad..... and women want one night stands jsut as much as men. They don't always speak up and "go for it" but they want it.... and i've heard that from PLENTY of women.

Also.... on another note..... women are bigger pigs then men. Work at any night club and you'll see..... their toilets are left shitty..... they fart on the dance floor..... etc. I'm not talking about that "ugly" friend in the group of hotties either..... I'm talkin about that girl with the short skirt, perfect legs, tig ole bitties, and a smile to die for.

~Haz~