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Thread: 'Official Postwhore Thread'

  1. 06-25-2008, 10:14 PM #38161
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    In fact i heard that the other day Chuck Norris bowled a perfect 300... And he didn't even have a ball... Heck he wasn't even in a bowling alley!
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  2. 06-25-2008, 10:20 PM #38162
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    Quote Originally Posted by xythan_shadow View Post
    If they would do another conan movie, who would you want as conan?

    wolf
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  3. 06-25-2008, 11:18 PM #38163
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    "Jane, you ignorant slut..."
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  4. 06-25-2008, 11:22 PM #38164
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    i think thats tarzan
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  5. 06-26-2008, 12:33 AM #38165
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  6. 06-26-2008, 12:35 AM #38166
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    Dude that uber gay^^^^^^^
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  7. 06-26-2008, 12:37 AM #38167
    G4R
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    Quote Originally Posted by gst528i View Post
    Dude that uber gay^^^^^^^
    Dude that uber funny

    Seinfeld was great
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  8. 06-26-2008, 01:31 AM #38168
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    you know you're right seinfield was great, but now when i ever see it on T.V i dont understand what was soo funny about it or what all the hype was about..... I guesss it was the right time for it ..
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  9. 06-26-2008, 01:38 AM #38169
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    I never understood what are all the tags about? Whats the tags on the bottom of every page.
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  10. 06-26-2008, 02:01 AM #38170
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    Quote Originally Posted by joeb23 View Post
    muah hahahaha i started page 954!!!
    I live in 954
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  11. 06-26-2008, 05:51 AM #38171
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    Quote Originally Posted by joeb23 View Post
    I use to have a bumper stick on my lifted truck "raise em up high cuz fat chicks cant climb"
    that's awesome...
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  12. 06-26-2008, 05:52 AM #38172
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    wake up whoes I'm back...
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  13. 06-26-2008, 05:55 AM #38173
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rugger02 View Post
    In fact i heard that the other day Chuck Norris bowled a perfect 300... And he didn't even have a ball... Heck he wasn't even in a bowling alley!
    chuck norris is so fast that he can run around the world and hit himself in the back of the head...
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  14. 06-26-2008, 05:56 AM #38174
    Misery13
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    chuck isn't afraid of the dark...the dark s afraid of chuck norris...
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  15. 06-26-2008, 05:58 AM #38175
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    hold on...
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  16. 06-26-2008, 06:03 AM #38176
    Misery13
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    If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.

    There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.

    Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.

    Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.

    Chuck Norris can eat just one Lay's potato chip.

    Chuck Norris is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.

    Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.

    Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

    Guns don't kill people. Chuck Norris kills People.


    There is no theory of *********. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.


    Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.


    The chief export of Chuck Norris is Pain.


    There is no chin under Chuck Norris' Beard. There is only another fist.


    Chuck Norris has two speeds. Walk, and Kill.


    The leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart Disease 2. Chuck Norris 3. Cancer.


    Chuck Norris drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls.


    Chuck Norris is my Homeboy.


    Chuck Norris doesn't go hunting.... CHUCK NORRIS GOES KILLING.

    Chuck Norris uses pepper spray to spice up his steaks. (New!)

    Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.

    Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie down.

    Chuck Norris is ten feet tall, weighs two-tons, breathes fire, and could eat a hammer and take a shotgun blast standing.

    The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably.

    Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth. Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield.

    Most people have 23 pairs of chromosomes. Chuck Norris has 72... and they're all poisonous.

    If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds 'til." After you ask, "Two seconds 'til what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.

    Chuck Norris drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls.

    When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes, ever.

    The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris' fist.

    Chuck Norris invented Kentucky Fried Chicken's famous secret recipe, with eleven herbs and spices. But nobody ever mentions the twelfth ingredient: Fear.

    CNN was originally created as the "Chuck Norris Network" to update Americans with on-the-spot ass kicking in real-time.

    Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.

    There is no theory of *********, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.

    Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.

    What was going through the minds of all of Chuck Norris' victims before they died? His shoe.

    Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.

    Police label anyone attacking Chuck Norris as a Code 45-11.... a suicide.

    Chuck Norris doesn't churn butter. He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out.

    Chuck Norris doesn’t wash his clothes, he disembowels them.

    A Handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.

    Chuck Norris will attain statehood in 2009. His state flower will be the Magnolia.

    Someone once videotaped Chuck Norris getting pissed off. It was called Walker: Texas Chain Saw Massacre.

    If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.

    Chuck Norris originally appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."

    Fool me once, shame on you. Fool Chuck Norris once and he will roundhouse you in the face.

    The opening scene of the movie "Saving Private Ryan" is loosely based on games of dodgeball Chuck Norris played in second grade.

    Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"

    Chuck Norris once bet NASA he could survive re-entry without a spacesuit. On July 19th, 1999, a naked Chuck Norris re-entered the earth's atmosphere, streaking over 14 states and reaching a temperature of 3000 degrees. An embarrassed NASA publically claimed it was a meteor, and still owes him a beer.

    Chuck Norris has two speeds: Walk and Kill.

    Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.

    Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.

    Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.

    Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris.

    Faster than a speeding bullet ... more powerful than a locomotive ... able to leap tall buildings in a single bound... yes, these are some of Chuck Norris's warm-up exercises.

    Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle -- you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse-kick you in the face.

    In the Bible, Jesus turned water into wine. But then Chuck Norris turned that wine into beer.

    Chuck Norris can hit you so hard that he can actually alter your DNA. Decades from now your descendants will occasionally clutch their heads and yell "What The Hell was That?"

    Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris.

    Chuck Norris discovered a new theory of relativity involving multiple universes in which Chuck Norris is even more badass than in this one. When it was discovered by Albert Einstein and made public, Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked him in the face. We know Albert Einstein today as Stephen Hawking.

    Chuck Norris doesn't shower, he only takes blood baths.

    The Chuck Norris military unit was not used in the game Civilization 4, because a single Chuck Norris could defeat the entire combined nations of the world in one turn.

    In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.

    According to the Encyclopedia Brittanica, the Native American "Trail of Tears" has been redefined as anywhere that Chuck Norris walks.

    Chuck Norris does not teabag the ladies. He potato-sacks them.

    Pluto is actually an orbiting group of British soldiers from the American R********* who entered space after the Chuck gave them a roundhouse kick to the face.

    When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.

    There are no steroids in baseball . Just players Chuck Norris has breathed on.

    Chuck Norris once challenged Lance Armstrong in a "Who has more testicles?" contest. Chuck Norris won by 5.

    Chuck Norris was the fourth wise man, who gave baby Jesus the gift of beard, which he carried with him until he died. The other three wise men were enraged by the preference that Jesus showed to Chuck's gift, and arranged to have him written out of the bible. All three died soon after of mysterious roundhouse-kick related injuries.

    Chuck Norris sheds his skin twice a year.
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  17. 06-26-2008, 06:05 AM #38177
    Misery13
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    whoooooooooooooores...
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  18. 06-26-2008, 06:15 AM #38178
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    Go to Google.
    Type in "find Chuck Norris".
    Hit the I'm Feeling Lucky button.

    That is all.
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  19. 06-26-2008, 06:19 AM #38179
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    he we go with the chuck jokes
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  20. 06-26-2008, 06:24 AM #38180
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    new page
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  21. 06-26-2008, 06:24 AM #38181
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    please?
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  22. 06-26-2008, 06:25 AM #38182
    Misery13
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    ...come post# 700...
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  23. 06-26-2008, 06:28 AM #38183
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    hi guys!! boy have i missed you! hahah
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  24. 06-26-2008, 06:29 AM #38184
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    almost.. just b a whore.. we no u can
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  25. 06-26-2008, 06:29 AM #38185
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    Quote Originally Posted by swol_je View Post
    please?
    please?...what?
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  26. 06-26-2008, 06:30 AM #38186
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    please a new page. and i did it
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  27. 06-26-2008, 06:31 AM #38187
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    please, please me?
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  28. 06-26-2008, 06:32 AM #38188
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    i slept on my head. so now my neck hurts. never doing that again. freakin yoga instructor is trying to kill me.
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  29. 06-26-2008, 06:35 AM #38189
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    Quote Originally Posted by roidattack View Post
    dukkit you have to shorten that custom...I got bored reading it
    holy cow!! i just realized it was changed!! lol. im going to have to work on it. but it just describes me so well.
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  30. 06-26-2008, 06:41 AM #38190
    Misery13
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    The 700 post whore club...
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  31. 06-26-2008, 06:42 AM #38191
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    yes sir
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  32. 06-26-2008, 06:58 AM #38192
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    ...
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  33. 06-26-2008, 06:59 AM #38193
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    gotta go train some clients
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  34. 06-26-2008, 07:00 AM #38194
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    lol, I was just giving you shit bro...dont take 99% of my posts seriously.


    Quote Originally Posted by dukkitdalaw View Post
    holy cow!! i just realized it was changed!! lol. im going to have to work on it. but it just describes me so well.
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  35. 06-26-2008, 07:16 AM #38195
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    Morning slut bags....
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  36. 06-26-2008, 07:21 AM #38196
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    Quote Originally Posted by HORSE View Post
    Morning slut bags....
    morning...
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  37. 06-26-2008, 07:23 AM #38197
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    only 397 post till 1000...whores...
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  38. 06-26-2008, 07:27 AM #38198
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    Quote Originally Posted by roidattack View Post
    lol, I was just giving you shit bro...dont take 99% of my posts seriously.
    haha. trust me. i dont take your posts seriously!! hahahah
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  39. 06-26-2008, 07:28 AM #38199
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    Quote Originally Posted by HORSE View Post
    Morning slut bags....
    hey buddy!! how is your day looking? mine is looking fabulous!
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  40. 06-26-2008, 07:28 AM #38200
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    PCT is over!! time to start planning the fall cycle! whoohoo!!
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