I Have Never

**Family_guy** · 04-26-2019, 01:07 AM

But you have shit your pants alone right!

**Fiskevatten** · 04-26-2019, 01:17 AM

lol never, I'm like a lady, never sh*t!^^

Worst thing was that I didn't have straps at the time, so I used jumping ropes and bound my hands to the bar.
Had to sit there smelling like sh*t for 2 minutes, stress un-bounding me before I could run to WC

**Capebuffalo** · 04-26-2019, 05:29 AM

Originally Posted by Family_guy

Ohh wait that’s not how this game works!

Umm I have never been with an Asian chick! I want to though!

Been with a 22 yr Korean nurse. Ahhhh

**Obs** · 04-26-2019, 06:16 AM

Originally Posted by Capebuffalo

Been with a 22 yr Korean nurse. Ahhhh

She had been a nurse 22 years.
Started school at 45.

**Capebuffalo** · 04-26-2019, 06:19 AM

Originally Posted by Obs

She had been a nurse 22 years.
Started school at 45.

Asshole.

**Fiskevatten** · 04-26-2019, 08:03 AM

Originally Posted by cylon357

Never have I ever french kissed a horse (that was some other guy)

Bonus: Never have I ever gone to the grocery wearing a tactical banana vest (but couch's avatar is inspiring me)

I have a feeling those two "have I ever" is connected

**clarky.** · 04-26-2019, 01:22 PM

Originally Posted by Capebuffalo

Come on over. We will eat bacon drink coffee and shoot guns

ohhhhhh Yes!. Nice Cape, nice.

**Chrisp83TRT** · 04-26-2019, 01:41 PM

I've never been on a star with cape

haha

Sent from my JSN-AL00 using Tapatalk

**EDCG19** · 04-26-2019, 05:08 PM

Originally Posted by Obs

No one is following you.
You need to see a therapist and get something to calm you down. You are cracking up and I dont mean that in a rude way. You arent the same guy you used to be. You gotta chill.

You live alone.
You have exhibited deeped and deeper antisocial behavior and isolation tendancies.
You bottle up problems and turn basic things into conspirator dilemmas.
You exhibit paranoia more and more.

I am serious edcg, you are gonna crack and I am asking you as a brother to go get help before someone who doesnt deserve it gets hurt.

Your behaviors of late have been that of an pre-office shooter.
I have been near break myself and you gotta go get some help. There is no shame in it. There is only shame in doing nothing.

Hey you're not wrong but im definitely not going crazy but am being driven into this madness state of mind, and at this point i get it i need to take a vacation and have talked to my boss about this, i need to take a fucking vacation and go back home

Regarding the girl situation thats a complicated one i pushed her away, she came back to just play with me than left again, than plays with me again and its either a game to her or she really doesnt know if she wants to be with me or not but i feel like she is just manipulating my feelings with the shit she has been doing to me (no need to discuss) anyway i told her to leave me alone but she continues these games

Regarding the work situation i already told my boss i want to leave and i am looking for another company where i would fit in better, also i did lose my fucking cool lately and fucked up so now i have to be on my fucking toes and make sure to not get angry or show any anger at all no matter what they do, i feel like i am being constantly poked so i lose it and snap, start screaming at work or something they are pushing me to anger sometimes... also yes i run gear and people at work have been talking about my "gym progress" for a while now they just wont say anything straight up clearly...

**Obs** · 04-26-2019, 05:52 PM

Originally Posted by EDCG19

Hey you're not wrong but im definitely not going crazy but am being driven into this madness state of mind, and at this point i get it i need to take a vacation and have talked to my boss about this, i need to take a fucking vacation and go back home

Regarding the girl situation thats a complicated one i pushed her away, she came back to just play with me than left again, than plays with me again and its either a game to her or she really doesnt know if she wants to be with me or not but i feel like she is just manipulating my feelings with the shit she has been doing to me (no need to discuss) anyway i told her to leave me alone but she continues these games

Regarding the work situation i already told my boss i want to leave and i am looking for another company where i would fit in better, also i did lose my fucking cool lately and fucked up so now i have to be on my fucking toes and make sure to not get angry or show any anger at all no matter what they do, i feel like i am being constantly poked so i lose it and snap, start screaming at work or something they are pushing me to anger sometimes... also yes i run gear and people at work have been talking about my "gym progress" for a while now they just wont say anything straight up clearly...

No one is out to get you buddy. Dont get me wrong, nearly all people want to see you fail because it gives them a sense of accomplishment but no one is following you or conspiring against you. Pm me anything further please so we dont wreck a thread

**Capebuffalo** · 04-26-2019, 07:46 PM

Originally Posted by Chrisp83TRT

I've never been on a star with cape

haha

Sent from my JSN-AL00 using Tapatalk

Never say never

**Charlie67** · 04-26-2019, 08:19 PM

I've never left the gym thinking, "I did everything I could in there".... I always wish I'd have done more.

I should work on that.

**fiddlesticks** · 04-27-2019, 02:07 AM

So who knows the biological, molecular and chemical madness behind the greatest mystery ever known to mankind for over 7000 years...

aka why the fuck does Walmart seriously have 0 carts that have working wheels that don't squeak, swirl around like they are having a seizure or drift to the left like a drunk? Honestly at this point I wouldn't be surprised if a cart straight up told me to fuck myself next time I go there.

**Capebuffalo** · 04-27-2019, 04:54 AM

Originally Posted by fiddlesticks

So who knows the biological, molecular and chemical madness behind the greatest mystery ever known to mankind for over 7000 years...

aka why the fuck does Walmart seriously have 0 carts that have working wheels that don't squeak, swirl around like they are having a seizure or drift to the left like a drunk? Honestly at this point I wouldn't be surprised if a cart straight up told me to fuck myself next time I go there.

That’s why God opened Target.

**Charlie67** · 04-27-2019, 06:54 AM

Originally Posted by fiddlesticks

So who knows the biological, molecular and chemical madness behind the greatest mystery ever known to mankind for over 7000 years...

aka why the fuck does Walmart seriously have 0 carts that have working wheels that don't squeak, swirl around like they are having a seizure or drift to the left like a drunk? Honestly at this point I wouldn't be surprised if a cart straight up told me to fuck myself next time I go there.

They're too broke paying the 3 cashier's they have for the 50 checkout lanes, 47 of which are closed!

**Old Duffer** · 04-27-2019, 08:34 AM

Originally Posted by fiddlesticks

So who knows the biological, molecular and chemical madness behind the greatest mystery ever known to mankind for over 7000 years...

aka why the fuck does Walmart seriously have 0 carts that have working wheels that don't squeak, swirl around like they are having a seizure or drift to the left like a drunk? Honestly at this point I wouldn't be surprised if a cart straight up told me to fuck myself next time I go there.

That's chaos theory!

**fiddlesticks** · 04-27-2019, 11:04 AM

Originally Posted by Capebuffalo

That’s why God opened Target.

Dude, my Target has a CVS in it that sells 60 bronkaids for 12 bucks. Usually it's like 17 mininum

**Couchlockd** · 04-27-2019, 06:05 PM

I have a nice shit your pants story, happened last August.

I had my 3 bike trunk mount carrier on truck of car. Had it there from week prior bike ride trip.

I started to have to shit at work at 7pm, got busy didn't have time. Punched out at 9pm. The shit feeling left. I knew I should have tried before leaving work, but I wanted to get home n lift.

Walk to the car, get in and started driving. About 10 minutes into the 25minute drive it came back with a vengeance. I was driving one cheek touching seat, praying at red lights it would pass. It wasn't. At 3 minutes from home I'm seriously about to loose it in my pants

I fucking made it home, I had my belt already undone, and zipper down. I ran around side of car and totally forgot the bike rack was there, I ran full force into it, clotheslined my self as I fall to the ground, I shit my pants as soon as I landed

I sat there looking up, full of runny high protein shit, screaming at the moon "you mother fucker, why!"

On top of shitting my pants, I hit my head so hard it left a 5 day long bump.

**Obs** · 04-27-2019, 06:21 PM

Originally Posted by Couchlockd

I have a nice shit your pants story, happened last August.

I had my 3 bike trunk mount carrier on truck of car. Had it there from week prior bike ride trip.

I started to have to shit at work at 7pm, got busy didn't have time. Punched out at 9pm. The shit feeling left. I knew I should have tried before leaving work, but I wanted to get home n lift.

Walk to the car, get in and started driving. About 10 minutes into the 25minute drive it came back with a vengeance. I was driving one cheek touching seat, praying at red lights it would pass. It wasn't. At 3 minutes from home I'm seriously about to loose it in my pants

I fucking made it home, I had my belt already undone, and zipper down. I ran around side of car and totally forgot the bike rack was there, I ran full force into it, clotheslined my self as I fall to the ground, I shit my pants as soon as I landed

I sat there looking up, full of runny high protein shit, screaming at the moon "you mother fucker, why!"

On top of shitting my pants, I hit my head so hard it left a 5 day long bump.

Lmao love that story

**Obs** · 04-27-2019, 06:25 PM

Originally Posted by Charlie67

I've never left the gym thinking, "I did everything I could in there".... I always wish I'd have done more.

I should work on that.

I have left the gym knowing I overdid it many times.

I have never had patience.

**Capebuffalo** · 04-27-2019, 06:27 PM

Originally Posted by Couchlockd

I have a nice shit your pants story, happened last August.

I had my 3 bike trunk mount carrier on truck of car. Had it there from week prior bike ride trip.

I started to have to shit at work at 7pm, got busy didn't have time. Punched out at 9pm. The shit feeling left. I knew I should have tried before leaving work, but I wanted to get home n lift.

Walk to the car, get in and started driving. About 10 minutes into the 25minute drive it came back with a vengeance. I was driving one cheek touching seat, praying at red lights it would pass. It wasn't. At 3 minutes from home I'm seriously about to loose it in my pants

I fucking made it home, I had my belt already undone, and zipper down. I ran around side of car and totally forgot the bike rack was there, I ran full force into it, clotheslined my self as I fall to the ground, I shit my pants as soon as I landed

I sat there looking up, full of runny high protein shit, screaming at the moon "you mother fucker, why!"

On top of shitting my pants, I hit my head so hard it left a 5 day long bump.

At least you were home when it happened.

**Family_guy** · 04-27-2019, 11:17 PM

Originally Posted by cylon357

Who hasn't??

Ugh I shit my pants in front of my then girlfriend now wife a few years ago. We had been together for like 8 months maybe and I was in her car and I farted cuz I thought it would be funny. She’s like “I think you shit your pants cuz that smell won’t go away!” I was so certain that I hadn’t. When we got off the car she asked me to prove it so I pulled my pants down and spread my cheeks...I had shit a little bit...she started cracking up telling me it looked like a little Hershey’s kiss! I got embarrassed and laughed a lot but quickly pulled my pants up and went to change my drawers!

**Family_guy** · 04-27-2019, 11:18 PM

Originally Posted by Couchlockd

I have a nice shit your pants story, happened last August.

I had my 3 bike trunk mount carrier on truck of car. Had it there from week prior bike ride trip.

I started to have to shit at work at 7pm, got busy didn't have time. Punched out at 9pm. The shit feeling left. I knew I should have tried before leaving work, but I wanted to get home n lift.

Walk to the car, get in and started driving. About 10 minutes into the 25minute drive it came back with a vengeance. I was driving one cheek touching seat, praying at red lights it would pass. It wasn't. At 3 minutes from home I'm seriously about to loose it in my pants

I fucking made it home, I had my belt already undone, and zipper down. I ran around side of car and totally forgot the bike rack was there, I ran full force into it, clotheslined my self as I fall to the ground, I shit my pants as soon as I landed

I sat there looking up, full of runny high protein shit, screaming at the moon "you mother fucker, why!"

On top of shitting my pants, I hit my head so hard it left a 5 day long bump.

Lmao! That’s so fucking funny!

**Family_guy** · 04-27-2019, 11:19 PM

Any grown ass man that doesn’t have a “I shit my pants” story is just lying. I came to that conclusion years ago. So don’t lie about it guys just tell your funny shit your pants story

**fiddlesticks** · 04-27-2019, 11:49 PM

Originally Posted by Obs

I have left the gym knowing I overdid it many times.

I have never had patience.

Absoutely drenched in sweat gasping for air and wrist feels like pudding and another set of rows just might break it. MORE SETS!

**Kimbo Almond** · 04-28-2019, 03:02 AM

Originally Posted by Obs

Your behaviors of late have been that of an pre-office shooter.

If I'd had a handgun these past few years I reckon I would have perpetrated a mass shooting.

**Couchlockd** · 04-28-2019, 05:59 AM

Originally Posted by Kimbo Almond

If I'd had a handgun these past few years I reckon I would have perpetrated a mass shooting.

You need at least a fully semi auto military war purposed assault rifle.

Ya big dummy

**Couchlockd** · 04-28-2019, 06:00 AM

Or am MG42. That be right in line with your mug. And mug meaning face, and inline meaning your face in it's sights.

Good morning fuck face

**Kimbo Almond** · 04-28-2019, 07:09 AM

Some people take the cowardly option and just go kill their children and then their wife.... then hide out for a few days before getting caught or jumping off a bridge. Utter cowardice.

Real anger stemming from years, or even decades, of bad experiences and betrayals requires true atonement.

There are few problems in life that can't be remedied by a mass shooting. I mean sure, you can kill your former best friend, or your spouse, or your parents, but true repentence for years of torment aspires to innocent blood, innocent heartache, innocent loss.

Mass shooters get a really bad rap nowadays, e.g. the trauma they cause, the families they tear apart, the gaping hole they leave in a community. Personally though I see nothing more noble in involving the innocent in your own personal internal struggle (or your 'kampf' as the Führer would say).

Death is a phenomenon that takes place every day. We all live a while and then die. People die every day, sure that's why we have mortuaries and funeral parlours. So in the grand scheme of things, it makes little difference whether you to decide to expedite a few departures by sauntering into your office on Monday morning with a Mach 11.

We need some maturity here on the board. Those of you considering perpetrating a mass shootong, please stand up and be counted while you have a pulse, before your courage is lost to annuls of time.

Live proudly and take lives with pride.

**Kimbo Almond** · 04-28-2019, 07:47 AM

I saw a beautiful wall memorial recently:

Love can't drive out love
Only hate can do that
Hate can't drive out hate
Only a mass shooting can do that

**clarky.** · 04-28-2019, 08:51 AM

Ok back on track.
I have never, been to a BB show.

**Family_guy** · 04-28-2019, 10:44 AM

Originally Posted by clarky.

Ok back on track.
I have never, been to a BB show.

Me neither! I’ve always wanted to see these guys up close to really see just how big they are

**Charlie67** · 04-28-2019, 10:57 AM

Originally Posted by Family_guy

Me neither! I’ve always wanted to see these guys up close to really see just how big they are

My first time at the Arnold I got whiplash looking at all the GIGANTIC guys... And those were the spectators in the parking lot! When you see a pro guy... It's unreal, even a crappy pro guy is thick!

Of course... And I mean no disrespect to the woman reading this... It's really hard to pay attention to those massive pro guys in a sea of AMAZINGLY hot women.

**CA_DXB_85** · 04-28-2019, 11:01 AM

Originally Posted by Couchlockd

I have a nice shit your pants story, happened last August.

I had my 3 bike trunk mount carrier on truck of car. Had it there from week prior bike ride trip.

I started to have to shit at work at 7pm, got busy didn't have time. Punched out at 9pm. The shit feeling left. I knew I should have tried before leaving work, but I wanted to get home n lift.

Walk to the car, get in and started driving. About 10 minutes into the 25minute drive it came back with a vengeance. I was driving one cheek touching seat, praying at red lights it would pass. It wasn't. At 3 minutes from home I'm seriously about to loose it in my pants

I fucking made it home, I had my belt already undone, and zipper down. I ran around side of car and totally forgot the bike rack was there, I ran full force into it, clotheslined my self as I fall to the ground, I shit my pants as soon as I landed

I sat there looking up, full of runny high protein shit, screaming at the moon "you mother fucker, why!"

On top of shitting my pants, I hit my head so hard it left a 5 day long bump.

Hahahahahahahaha, that's just too funny!

I have never watched Star Wars...

**Obs** · 04-28-2019, 01:06 PM

Originally Posted by Kimbo Almond

If I'd had a handgun these past few years I reckon I would have perpetrated a mass shooting.

Thats because you are a pussy european that has never had the ability to protect himself from an attacker and thinks guns should be illegal and are obviously trying to stir shit with this like in every post. You are a believe in nothing vagina boy.

You are a bitch kimbo.
A little limp wristed slimy handed puss boy.
Dead fish handshaking, wont look me in the eye, stand for nothing, little european piss pants.
You wouldnt have the balls to squeeze a trigger and if you did it would worsen your PTSD.

**charger69** · 04-28-2019, 01:36 PM

Originally Posted by Kimbo Almond

I saw a beautiful wall memorial recently:

Love can't drive out love
Only hate can do that
Hate can't drive out hate
Only a mass shooting can do that

You are one sick person. I hate these pussy’s that need a gun to hide behind.
The world has turned into a living hell. I just had a mass shooting close to my house.
I am not a violent person, but I would make an exception for these “mass shooters”.
I may be in a depleted state, but I would dig down to my soul to find energy to teach these “mass shooters” a lesson.
The problem is they hide.

You are the first person to make my shit list.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

**Kimbo Almond** · 04-28-2019, 02:06 PM

Originally Posted by Obs

Thats because you are a pussy european that has never had the ability to protect himself from an attacker and thinks guns should be illegal and are obviously trying to stir shit with this like in every post. You are a believe in nothing vagina boy.

You are a bitch kimbo.
A little limp wristed slimy handed puss boy.
Dead fish handshaking, wont look me in the eye, stand for nothing, little european piss pants.
You wouldnt have the balls to squeeze a trigger and if you did it would worsen your PTSD.

Originally Posted by Obs

Thats because you are a pussy european that has never had the ability to protect himself from an attacker and thinks guns should be illegal and are obviously trying to stir shit with this like in every post. You are a believe in nothing vagina boy.

You are a bitch kimbo.
A little limp wristed slimy handed puss boy.
Dead fish handshaking, wont look me in the eye, stand for nothing, little european piss pants.
You wouldnt have the balls to squeeze a trigger and if you did it would worsen your PTSD.

Obs, you know how nobody ever blames anything on gravity? Like if somebody falls from a roof and dies, or if a hammer falls from scaffolding and hits someone in the head and they die, nobody ever blames gravity.

Now try to imagine if we only had gravity one day a year. Imagine that there was no gravity 364 days a year, and then gravity for only one day.

If there was gravity for only one day a year, and if someone fell off a roof on that day or if a hammer fell from scaffolding and hit someone in the head, then everyone would be cursing gravity, and the two deaths would be directly attributed to gravity. The coroner would write 'Mode of Death: Gravity' on the death certificate.

That's how europeans see guns. Guns aren't common over here. We seldom hear anything about guns and we seldom see them. Any stories we hear about a gun in our county tend to be exceptional or obscure.

The way you feel about guns, Obs, will never change if you spend the rest of your life around them.

You're also a deeply-taumatised, anger-stiffling fucktard, although to be honest I think you're one of the best fucktards on this forum. As a side project I might expend effort on bringing you toward the light.

**Couchlockd** · 04-28-2019, 02:08 PM

Originally Posted by charger69

You are one sick person. I hate these pussy’s that need a gun to hide behind.
The world has turned into a living hell. I just had a mass shooting close to my house.
I am not a violent person, but I would make an exception for these “mass shooters”.
I may be in a depleted state, but I would dig down to my soul to find energy to teach these “mass shooters” a lesson.
The problem is they hide.

You are the first person to make my shit list.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Now God dang, that says alot.

**Couchlockd** · 04-28-2019, 02:13 PM

Originally Posted by Kimbo Almond

Obs, you know how nobody ever blames anything on gravity? Like if somebody falls from a roof and dies, or if a hammer falls from scaffolding and hits someone in the head and they die, nobody ever blames gravity.

Now try to imagine if we only had gravity one day a year. Imagine that there was no gravity 364 days a year, and then gravity for only one day.

If there was gravity for only one day a year, and if someone fell off a roof on that day or if a hammer fell from scaffolding and hit someone in the head, then everyone would be cursing gravity, and the two deaths would be directly attributed to gravity. The coroner would write 'Mode of Death: Gravity' on the death certificate.

That's how europeans see guns. Guns aren't common over here. We seldom hear anything about guns and we seldom see them. Any stories we hear about a gun in our county tend to be exceptional or obscure.

The way you feel about guns, Obs, will never change if you spend the rest of your life around them.

You're also a deeply-taumatised, anger-stiffling fucktard, although to be honest I think you're one of the best fucktards on this forum. As a side project I might expend effort on bringing you toward the light.

You just contradicted yourself.

You just spoke in 2 posts about mass shooting a place up

Hell why don't you grow some real balls and say it about a certain orange face person in power and deal with the authorities when they get to your homeless shelter door to question you?

Fwiw, your so limp wristed the gun would jam after first shot.

You've already committed one murder and kidnapping, and made it look like a suicide. Now your on the run living in these off the grid communities of derelict people.

May peace be with your poor ex who you killed. And you did not drive her to do it, you tied her up and killed her

**Kimbo Almond** · 04-28-2019, 02:14 PM

For what it's worth, I didn't set out to offend anyone who's actually been personally affected by a mass shooting. It's one of the worst situations a person can experience in life and I wouldn't try to delay their recovery by poking fun.