The Mens Room

**scerpico22** · 04-06-2009, 10:34 AM

*runs in the door relieved to finally find a mens room at AR because im turtle heading and real bad! realizes that the weekend spent drinking was great but missed this whole thread...pist off at the last hour that ive lost reading THE WHOLE FVCKING thing...turns around, forgets to take his dump and leaves...FML

**Dukkit** · 04-06-2009, 10:49 AM

*laughs as scerpico walked in lookin flustered, then walked out.

still workin on that dump*

**BritishColumbian** · 04-06-2009, 11:48 AM

Nervously walks into the overcrowded, stench filled, dimly lit poo closet. Finds an empy stall, looks in disgust at the stained toilet seat and uses the seat cover he has brought along. Sits down hesetantly and looks over and right beside the empty toilet paper roll is a glory hole with a big scabby cock poking through; Runs out screaming with pants around ankles and a turtle head poking out, lays on the cold hard cement of the parking lot and strugles to maintain conciousness****fade to black***

**higherdesire** · 04-06-2009, 11:59 AM

HD rolls in the python he had stuck into the hole barely able to contain hisself. Rolling on the nasty floor laughing at the guy who just freaked out and ran out!

**Dukkit** · 04-06-2009, 12:04 PM

*im still sittin here, squeezing one out, enjoying the crazy antics of Higherdesire*

**higherdesire** · 04-06-2009, 12:05 PM

Hi five dukkit!
*smiles and steps close with hand raised*

**Dukkit** · 04-06-2009, 12:06 PM

*high fives ya and asks if you can grab me another roll of toilet paper out of the other stalls. ive used all mine up*

**scerpico22** · 04-06-2009, 12:08 PM

*walking back into the mens room finally gonna be able to get ride of this stomach cramp that i was dealing with...gets smacked right in the fvcking face with the door as BC runs out with his pants around his ankles...i lose the sensation yet again...turn and leave, yet again...FML

**higherdesire** · 04-06-2009, 12:09 PM

*chunks TP roll over the side wall with a swish sound* Nuttin but net g

**Matt** · 04-06-2009, 12:10 PM

Will you guy's hurry the fuvk up im dieing for a "tom tit", walks out and slams the door..

**scerpico22** · 04-06-2009, 12:15 PM

Originally Posted by MAD MATT

Will you guy's hurry the fuvk up im dieing for a "tom tit", walks out and slams the door..

Tom Tit...never heard that one before...stop making me have to google shit Matt...LOL

**Matt** · 04-06-2009, 12:26 PM

Originally Posted by scerpico22

Tom Tit...never heard that one before...stop making me have to google shit Matt...LOL

Its ryhming slang lol, tom-tit = shit...

I do alot of that but i guess people must think "that guys talking bollocks"..

If you googled shit bro you got it!!

**Dukkit** · 04-06-2009, 12:16 PM

*wipes his ass, pulls the pants up, walks over and washes his hands. then walks out of the restroom thinking to himself... "did i flush??"

**BritishColumbian** · 04-06-2009, 12:25 PM

from the pages of the urban dictionary:
Tom Tit
*Shit.* New cockney slang
"I'm off to take a Tom Tit!"

**BritishColumbian** · 04-06-2009, 12:32 PM

*regains conciousness on the cold hard surface of the oil stained parking lot. Pants around the ankles and covered in my own feces. Reaches for the FNP-9 with a fully loaded 16 round clip, clicks of the safety, opens mouth, inserts FNP-9, goodbye cruel world. *Click* Gun Jams, uncontrolable sobbing***fade to black***

**Dukkit** · 04-06-2009, 12:35 PM

*walks back into the mens room, goes to his stall and flushes the toilet.

shit!!! its overflowing!!!

wheres a plunger???

fukk it.

walks out again as the place floods with his watered down feces*

**Chode Logan** · 04-06-2009, 12:38 PM

Is this thread as gay as I think it might be?

**Dukkit** · 04-06-2009, 12:39 PM

Originally Posted by Chode Logan

Is this thread as gay as I think it might be?

nope...

ever gayer

**Chode Logan** · 04-06-2009, 12:44 PM

Originally Posted by dukkitdalaw

nope...

ever gayer

Dreams can come true.

**BritishColumbian** · 04-06-2009, 12:43 PM

Originally Posted by Chode Logan

Is this thread as gay as I think it might be?

It is now....

**Chode Logan** · 04-06-2009, 12:46 PM

Originally Posted by BritishColumbian

It is now....

Well then, aren't you lucky!

**scerpico22** · 04-06-2009, 12:38 PM

*walking back in to FINALLY take my dump, high fives Dukk on the way in...open the door, and floor is full of watered down feces...cant make it to a stall...turns and leaves yet again...

**BritishColumbian** · 04-06-2009, 12:50 PM

actually Im passed out in the parking lot with my pants around my ankles....

**Dukkit** · 04-06-2009, 12:57 PM

*walks next door to the womens restroom. slowly opens the door and peeks in*

**Chode Logan** · 04-06-2009, 01:01 PM

I've done that before. Good thing I wore my chastity belt.

Originally Posted by BritishColumbian

actually Im passed out in the parking lot with my pants around my ankles....

**BritishColumbian** · 04-06-2009, 01:13 PM

*regains conciousness yet again, looks down at the mess, takes a deep breath and holsters the FNP-9. Rips off shirt and uses it to clean up. Stands up and pulls up pants. hears a faint screaming in the dark night and wonders how the hell I wound up an this side of the tracks. Looks over at the neon 'Mens Room' sighn dimly flickering across the parking lot, looks back at the parking lot, CAR IS GONE, reaches in pocket, Keys are gone! quickly unholsters FNP-9 and unjams it...what have I got myself into???

**Dukkit** · 04-06-2009, 01:16 PM

haha

the mens room sign is a neon sign

thats freakin pimp

i bet DSM was in charge of the sign

***T-MOS*** · 04-06-2009, 01:18 PM

***** and the saga continues******

Meanwhile back at the men's room..........

*walks in, notices floor is covered in water and feces !!! can't hold it so tip toes over to the urinal which is clogged full of chew and cigarette butts....says fuk it and turns and just pisses all over the floor.....pockets the python and tip toes back out of this hell hole..... damn where the hell are all the mints???***

**BritishColumbian** · 04-06-2009, 01:47 PM

He was left town, transfered i think?. But I never told anyone that he shot me. I was fvckin scared shitless. .22 in and out of my calf, aministered first aid myself. 21 years ago.
The best part of the mens room is the LOLcats!

**Dobie-BOY** · 04-06-2009, 01:48 PM

Originally Posted by BritishColumbian

He was left town, transfered i think?. But I never told anyone that he shot me. I was fvckin scared shitless. .22 in and out of my calf, aministered first aid myself. 21 years ago.
The best part of the mens room is the LOLcats!

he probably went back to his home town so he could suck on his mothers hairy ball sack.

**Dukkit** · 04-06-2009, 01:50 PM

one time some cops raided my house and arrested me for possesion of a white substance

as the cop was driving me to the station... he took the baggie (my baggie) out of an evidence bag that was on the seat next to him and stuck his finger in... then applied said finger to his gums. then proceeded to tell me that my stuff was whack and he could get purer shit.

seriously??

i was like your gay and you look like a 70's porn star with a mullet. which he did

**BritishColumbian** · 04-06-2009, 01:52 PM

Originally Posted by dukkitdalaw

i was like your gay and you look like a 70's porn star with a mullet. which he did

ROTFLOLasauras exellent comeback!

***RAGE*** · 04-06-2009, 01:51 PM

Prone, walks into and walked straight over to the toilet and opens the door, steps inside and closes door behind. Pulls pants down sits on toilet and sits down. Prone looks to the left and notices some writting on the wall, he reads

Here I sit on the pooper giving birth to a Florida State Trooper...

Pushes harder and notices more writting on the door

saying look left, on the left wall it says look right, on the right wall it says look left, this goes on for the next five minutes.

Prone stands up feeling dizzy and reliezes he has been watching toilet tennis.

wipes ass, flushes twice walks to the sink, washes hands, grabbs mint and walks out...

**BritishColumbian** · 04-06-2009, 01:55 PM

Some come here to sit and think,
some come here to shit and stink,
but I come here to itch my balls,
and read the writing on the walls.

**Dukkit** · 04-06-2009, 02:00 PM

is flying off of 400mg of caffeine, about to head to the gym

but is pretty comfortable in this place.

ill def have to visit more often

**scerpico22** · 04-06-2009, 02:00 PM

here i am im in a caper some one stole the toilet paper shall i sit here shall i linger or will i be forced to use my finger

**BritishColumbian** · 04-06-2009, 02:04 PM

***T-MOS*** · 04-06-2009, 02:37 PM

**Dobie-BOY** · 04-06-2009, 03:03 PM

OH OH OH, I thought of another one!!! I hate men who act like bittches after they get in a fight with a friend and act like they are breaking up with you. Like after you and your friend get drunk, have a fist fight, sober up and the friend acts like a total BIITCH and can't just let it go!! Discusts me... Faggot, fairy bitcches!!