Live for the moment - A teenage Zeus' bodybuilding journey

**hammerheart** · 11-28-2017, 01:06 PM

Originally Posted by hollowedzeus

Should manage arms later on today.

Fell asleep twice before actually going to bed yesterday. Im a walking zombie atm despite getting lots of sleep.

I am also worrying about something that i cant put my finger on. Im spending time sitting with a gut wrenching feeling something is drastically wrong but i cant figure out whats causing it...

That's what happens when you "frontload" AI. My very feelings when I'm just too low. That sense of dread can lead to panic attacks, stay chill...

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**hollowedzeus** · 11-28-2017, 01:29 PM

Originally Posted by bizzarro

That's what happens when you "frontload" AI. My very feelings when I'm just too low. That sense of dread can lead to panic attacks, stay chill...

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Ahh felt like a great idea at the time... was unaware of these consequences.

Unsure if related but gettinf alot of wrist elbow and shoulder pain atm. I know low e2 causes joint pain but i dunno if its just because im gettinv stronger and my joints cant catch up.

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**hollowedzeus** · 11-29-2017, 03:03 AM

Bloods taken. No pish off the nurse this time. They know the score.

Total t
Free t
E2

**hollowedzeus** · 11-29-2017, 05:26 AM

Started nolva to combat the gyno today. Opted not to tel doc about it... dont want anything to stop the momentum of treatment

**hollowedzeus** · 11-29-2017, 09:48 AM

Arms are sore to the touch. Triceps are agony. Rest day today

**hollowedzeus** · 11-29-2017, 02:28 PM

Saw a weird polish chocolate bar on tbe shop shelf tonight.... couldnt resist.... fuck knows whats inside it..

Will update later

**hollowedzeus** · 11-30-2017, 05:19 AM

Chocolate bar was delish.

Definetly started nolva at the right time. Got a pea sized lump now.

**hollowedzeus** · 11-30-2017, 06:08 AM

Extremely nervous about some unknown thing again today.

**hollowedzeus** · 11-30-2017, 03:09 PM

Hurt my left quad doing hack squats tonight. Tried to do extentions but was painful so i didnt push it... nice and easy one tonight.

Did get 240kg on the standing calf raise for 10. Happy with that.

**Obs** · 11-30-2017, 03:32 PM

Originally Posted by hollowedzeus

Extremely nervous about some unknown thing again today.

Its coming to get you. They will all be laughing.
The entire world will blame you and there is nothing you can do about it. It will be your undoing and your entire life will be a mockery.

Or...

None of that is possible and when you get those feelings you can turn on the adrenaline and busy yourself.
Works good.

**hollowedzeus** · 11-30-2017, 04:07 PM

Originally Posted by Obspowerstroke

Its coming to get you. They will all be laughing.
The entire world will blame you and there is nothing you can do about it. It will be your undoing and your entire life will be a mockery.

Or...

None of that is possible and when you get those feelings you can turn on the adrenaline and busy yourself.
Works good.

Its gone the now but thats horrendus when it hits... i lose my appetite... stop functioning 100% and cant focus. Its like a gut wrenching feeling like i know ive comitted a terrible crime but i just cant remember what.

Wish i could turn everything into drive... unfortunatly im not the best at it lol.

**Obs** · 11-30-2017, 05:33 PM

Originally Posted by hollowedzeus

Its gone the now but thats horrendus when it hits... i lose my appetite... stop functioning 100% and cant focus. Its like a gut wrenching feeling like i know ive comitted a terrible crime but i just cant remember what.

Wish i could turn everything into drive... unfortunatly im not the best at it lol.

I know that exact feeling very well. I still get it now and then. Drinking sets it off for me terribly sometimes. The longer I live the easier it gets for me to brainwash myself out of feelings like that. I never treated it with meds.
Good luck

**hollowedzeus** · 12-03-2017, 05:23 PM

Gyno feels like its breaking apart .. feels weird but good i guess

**Gallowmere** · 12-04-2017, 12:39 AM

Reading these last few posts: I can definitely empathize man. Ever so often, I get this weird lingering dread and sense of nothingness.

Last time it happened was a bit over a month ago, in the middle of my 8s mesocycle. I was five weeks into the biggest volume run I had ever done, and apparently my brain was getting pissed. It lasted for a week and a half while I finished that lifting cycle, and was so bad that I actually felt compelled to lock my guns up at my girlfriends house so I didn’t have access to them.

After one big overfeed and a deload week, it was gone. I think that I might have found my true overtrained state. It wasn’t “oh, I so sore rattarattaratta”. It was my brain literally trying to shut down everything I was doing.

**hollowedzeus** · 12-04-2017, 04:00 AM

Originally Posted by Gallowmere

Reading these last few posts: I can definitely empathize man. Ever so often, I get this weird lingering dread and sense of nothingness.

Last time it happened was a bit over a month ago, in the middle of my 8s mesocycle. I was five weeks into the biggest volume run I had ever done, and apparently my brain was getting pissed. It lasted for a week and a half while I finished that lifting cycle, and was so bad that I actually felt compelled to lock my guns up at my girlfriends house so I didn’t have access to them.

After one big overfeed and a deload week, it was gone. I think that I might have found my true overtrained state. It wasn’t “oh, I so sore rattarattaratta”. It was my brain literally trying to shut down everything I was doing.

Thanks, i get it fairly often. Yohimbine sets it off pretty badly i must say.... i use ephedrine and clenbuterol to try and escape it quite alot. Not a healthy way to go avout it but its awful.

I wish o had a reason for it like you mate but it just appears and then decides on its own when its going to go away... sometimes training makes it go away, others sleep and others it doesnt...

Lucky im known as being someone that doesnt say very much so it doesnt look as odd when im withdrawn from people

**hollowedzeus** · 12-04-2017, 09:32 AM

People have looked at me complaining 10000 times... wowow

**Obs** · 12-05-2017, 09:23 AM

Originally Posted by hollowedzeus

People have looked at me complaining 10000 times... wowow

They take notice when a legend complains

**hollowedzeus** · 12-05-2017, 10:48 AM

Originally Posted by Obspowerstroke

They take notice when a legend complains

We should just make out.
Thanks though

**hollowedzeus** · 12-06-2017, 09:03 AM

Requested a new trt protocol from doc. Pretty nervous for the response

**cousinmuscles** · 12-06-2017, 09:58 AM

Originally Posted by hollowedzeus

Requested a new trt protocol from doc. Pretty nervous for the response

Did you insist on nebido?

**hollowedzeus** · 12-06-2017, 10:52 AM

Originally Posted by rnsplg

Did you insist on nebido?

Heavily.

Hes agreed its a good option but the downside is fertility and my age. He wants to see me in person to discuss further treatment. So i need to mke the 9 hour drive on wednesday lol.

My diet and focus will be haywire between now and then. So nervous already

**Obs** · 12-06-2017, 06:54 PM

Originally Posted by hollowedzeus

Heavily.

Hes agreed its a good option but the downside is fertility and my age. He wants to see me in person to discuss further treatment. So i need to mke the 9 hour drive on wednesday lol.

My diet and focus will be haywire between now and then. So nervous already

Get ten vials of semen froze. Then take him the documentation.

**hollowedzeus** · 12-07-2017, 07:52 AM

Going to get sperm froze. Would be silly not to

**Obs** · 12-07-2017, 08:07 AM

Originally Posted by hollowedzeus

Going to get sperm froze. Would be silly not to

If you run into complications I can help depending on what she looks like. She woul probably be young and cute. Don't pick a giddy or ditzy one.

**hollowedzeus** · 12-07-2017, 08:07 AM

Im sort of out of action the now.

My shoulder hurts when it rolls back... feel like i injured it training back...

Trt doc next week... setting me into an eating frenzy

Im extremely tired at the moment. Falling asleep and drowsy at a moments notice

**hollowedzeus** · 12-07-2017, 08:14 AM

Originally Posted by Obspowerstroke

If you run into complications I can help depending on what she looks like. She woul probably be young and cute. Don't pick a giddy or ditzy one.

Thanks she is young and cute. But she thinks cowboys are gay unfortunatly

**Obs** · 12-07-2017, 09:36 AM

Originally Posted by hollowedzeus

Thanks she is young and cute. But she thinks cowboys are gay unfortunatly

She only tells you that so you don't get suspicious...

**hollowedzeus** · 12-08-2017, 10:22 AM

Freezing sperm is fucking expensive man.....

**Obs** · 12-08-2017, 12:31 PM

Originally Posted by hollowedzeus

Freezing sperm is fucking expensive man.....

How much is it?

**hammerheart** · 12-08-2017, 12:33 PM

Originally Posted by Obspowerstroke

How much is it?

In Italy it's up to ten grands.

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**hollowedzeus** · 12-08-2017, 12:55 PM

Originally Posted by bizzarro

In Italy it's up to ten grands.

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Originally Posted by Obspowerstroke

How much is it?

£110 for semen analysis. £180 for initial consultation. £500 for first year and £250 for wvery year After.... thats what i know thus far

**Obs** · 12-08-2017, 03:59 PM

Originally Posted by hollowedzeus

£110 for semen analysis. £180 for initial consultation. £500 for first year and £250 for wvery year After.... thats what i know thus far

You can keep it in my deep freeze for $50 year. Tell yer friends.

**Obs** · 12-08-2017, 04:00 PM

Refer a friend get one month free.

**hollowedzeus** · 12-10-2017, 05:15 AM

No training for me the now. Am a mess

**hollowedzeus** · 12-11-2017, 07:41 AM

Ive let myself down the paat couple of weeks but im at the gym today. Its back.

Put on a couple of kgs of fat recently. Cant wait to strip it off in the new year. Just gonna take it as it cones up till then. Still eating away my nerves for wednesday

**hammerheart** · 12-11-2017, 06:21 PM

I hope you don't have the tradition of eating dirty big at xmas holidays. Down here ppl get in hospital from too much eating or food intoxication. Putting on at least 3kg by Jan is the accepted norm... then they show up in crowds at gyms.

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**hollowedzeus** · 12-12-2017, 03:39 AM

Originally Posted by bizzarro

I hope you don't have the tradition of eating dirty big at xmas holidays. Down here ppl get in hospital from too much eating or food intoxication. Putting on at least 3kg by Jan is the accepted norm... then they show up in crowds at gyms.

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Not necessarily, its more due to the fact that no matter where you go at yhis time of year... every one has multiple boxes of chocolate. And the mindset of 'fuck it. Its christmas... ill get a mcdonalds' comes in yo play

**hammerheart** · 12-12-2017, 04:16 AM

I hope at least they are Italian Ferrero chocolate boxes.

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**hollowedzeus** · 12-12-2017, 05:31 AM

Originally Posted by bizzarro

I hope at least they are Italian Ferrero chocolate boxes.

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We dont have that kind of money lol. If youre lucky someone your mum or dad knows gives them a box of ferrero rocher but youre never allowed to eat then

**cousinmuscles** · 12-12-2017, 05:43 AM

Originally Posted by hollowedzeus

We dont have that kind of money lol. If youre lucky someone your mum or dad knows gives them a box of ferrero rocher but youre never allowed to eat then

LMAO I was about to say that it is the best little treat but expensive. Always got mad when I asked my mom to buy them and she brought another one.